


Massage Therapy

by Butterynutjob



Series: Inappropriate 'Verse [1]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Asexual Character, Cocaine, Drunk Charles, Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love Triangles, M/M, Massage, Oh the drama, Scott Summers is a douche, Slow Burn, UST, daily updates, if you are looking for genuine poly you will be disappointed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:40:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 52,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3178988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterynutjob/pseuds/Butterynutjob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A massage and a misunderstanding. Charles uses extremely poor judgement. It will come back to bite him in the ass.</p><p>Alternatively:<br/>Charles is far too protective of his younger sister Raven, and it leads him to a terrible error in judgement that will shape his life for the next year as he is forced by circumstance to be in constant proximity to the intoxicatingly attractive Erik without being able to have him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The dubious consent all happens in the first chapter, although the same scene is described from the other person's perspective in Chapter 2. There is no sex or force in the scene in question.

There was a reason Erik asked for female masseuses. 

Emma knew of his preferences and she’d said he would be meeting with Angel today. Erik hadn’t met Angel in the few months that he’d been coming to the spa biweekly for massages, so he thought maybe she was a new employee.

So why was there a brown-haired _man_ entering the small room?

Erik was already undressed down to his underwear and was lying on the table with a white towel draped over his underwear. He debated whether to make an issue of the masage therapist’s gender and decided not to, mostly out of laziness. 

Also, the poor guy seemed kind of nervous. 

“Angel?” Erik rumbled, where he was lying facedown on the massage table.

The man hummed in agreement and washed his hands for a conspicuously long time before approaching Erik. He cleared his throat. “Are there any, ah, parts, that need more attention today?” His voice was a soft baritone, with the rounded vowels of a British accent. 

“Not particularly. I’m just here to relax.” 

The man--Angel, Erik supposed, which he thought was an odd name for a man but he was vaguely aware that this wasn’t the case in all cultures--started on Erik’s calf. Almost immediately, Erik wanted to melt. He wondered if Emma was trying to prove something to him because Angel had strong, broad hands, and even though he had just started what he was doing felt _really good_. Erik tried hard not to vocalize, but he was so enjoying the massage that a few low sounds slipped out. 

Erik assumed that as a professional Angel wouldn’t be affected by that, but after a few minutes Erik noticed that anytime he made a sound, Angel would pause for a split second and even seemed to pause his breathing for a moment before continuing. 

This wasn’t something Erik wanted to notice. 

In fact, wasn’t there usually…? “Would you mind putting some music on?” Erik asked. 

“Oh!” Angel literally snatched his hands off Erik. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t--I mean, I didn’t--” The poor guy seemed completely flustered.

“It’s fine,” Erik chuckled. “Not a big deal if you don’t have anything to play.”

“No, I’m sure that...is there anything you would especially like to hear?” The man still seemed unusually anxious. Erik thought he was probably new, perhaps this was even his first day. 

“I’m not picky,” said Erik, which was true in this instance. 

Angel fiddled with the music player in the corner and a minute later Erik heard a familiar song begin - a song he hadn’t heard in many years. As Angel started massaging him again, Erik placed the song - Mea Culpa, by Enigma. He sucked in his breath. 

The song had a highly sexual connotation for Erik. He’d had sex to this song many times in the 1990’s, hot sex, amazing sex...despite the massage he was receiving, he felt certain muscles tensing involuntarily.

Angel, however, seemed to relax into the massage more and was moving up Erik’s legs. In fact, his fingers were swiping in towards Erik’s inner thigh with every grasp and Erik was trying not-very successfully to shift his body to accommodate his growing erection even as he did his best to will it away. 

Just about the time he worked up the nerve to suggest Angel move to a different spot, Angel moved to his shoulders. Usually masseuses were more methodical about what parts of the body they rubbed and how they navigated around the body, but this man undeniably knew how to move his hands, and Erik wasn’t one to micromanage, anyway. 

He relaxed again and despite the erotic music he felt his penis softening and he breathed more easily. As he relaxed and his breathing slowed and became deeper he realized that the drawback of having Angel rub his shoulders is that he could smell Angel and he smelled...intoxicating. 

_This is why I prefer women masseuses,_ Erik thought, torn between annoyance and arousal. Becoming turned-on during a massage was one of Erik’s biggest fears, and he didn’t have to worry about that with women, generally, even though men did have the bigger and stronger hands like the ones that were now working him over so deliciously. 

Erik stayed on the precipice of annoyed and aroused for another twenty minutes at least as the man worked his way around Erik’s body and was for some reason back to Erik’s inner thighs. Erik began to suspect the man was making him feel this way on purpose and then he suddenly realized--Emma. This must be her idea of a joke. 

Although, something still didn’t add up.

“Would you like to turn over now?” The man murmured in his undeniably sexy British accent. 

Erik sighed. “Sure.” He had a raging hard-on, and was expecting Emma to pop-in with a camera any minute. It was a little out-of-character for her--she was nothing if not professional, and after all, Erik was _paying_ for the massage therapist--but it was the only thing that made sense to Erik. He gritted his teeth and turned over, keeping the white towel that covered him in place over his crotch. 

He looked at the door for a moment, but nothing happened. With a slight frown, he looked at Angel and he noticed several things in quick succession:

Angel was _adorable,_ with flushed cheeks, parted red lips, and blue eyes with large black pupils;  
Angel was staring at Erik’s towel-covered junk.

A slight smile curved the young man’s lips as he said lightly, “Would you like me to finish your massage or take care of that now?” 

Erik’s eyes went wide with shock and he could not find any words to speak. Angel began stroking down his chest, touches that were undeniably sexual now, keeping eye contact with Erik as he climbed on the table to straddle Erik. 

“There’s been a misunderstanding,” Erik finally gasped, just as Angel was reaching for the towel. 

The other man froze. “What?”

Erik shook his head. “I didn’t--this--did Emma put you up to this?”

All the color had drained from Angel’s face. “Oh my god,” he said. 

Erik watched Angel, thoroughly confused, as he shakily climbed off of Erik and hastily left the room. 

The music was still playing, but Erik’s erection was fading as he thought - what just happened?


	2. Charles

Erik put his jeans on as fast as possible and peeked his head out the door while he was still buttoning them up. He looked both ways, but there was no sign of the other man. 

Exasperated, he went back into the room, grabbed his shirt and walked down the hall to Emma’s office, trying to make sense of what had happened in his head. Emma looked up at him. 

“Something wrong?” She said, with a tiny frown marring her otherwise flawless face. “I thought you had another 30 minutes or so to go.”

Erik ran a hand through his hair, confused, still clutching his shirt. “Um. Okay. So...Angel...was that your idea of a joke?”

Emma stared at him for a minute with no change in her expression. “What happened, Erik?”

“Well, he basically offered to jerk me off? That wasn’t--your--?”

Emma’s eyebrows shot up and she slowly shook her head. “He? Erik, Angel is a lovely dark-skinned woman. She’s new. I highly doubt you would mistake her for a man.”

It was Erik’s turn to stare. “No. What? The Angel I met was a man, with brown hair and blue eyes and red lips. And a British accent.”

Emma’s frown got deeper with every word and then a look of realization came over her face at his last few words. Without saying anything she stood up and walked down the hall. Erik realized his chest was still bare and he hastily put his shirt on as he followed Emma down the hallway. She stopped in front of a door that looked like every other door in the hall and opened it.

“Emma! I’m so sorry! I've been stuck in here for like half an hour. The door knob is broken or something and I tried banging on it…” the young woman behind the door was obviously distraught, perhaps on the verge of tears. 

Emma let out a big sigh and leaned against the door. “Angel. Of course you couldn't get out. This is the Brig.”

“The what?" Angel and Erik said simultaneously. The room looked like all the others from where Erik was standing, except that it had a single chair in it instead of the massage tables all the other rooms had in them. 

Emma exhaled heavily. "The Brig. It's kind of a nickname, because the door doesn’t open from the inside. It's where I put the perverts until I can call the cops."

**

_(The day before)_

"Jesus, Charles, all I wanted was to know if I can borrow your car for a few hours tomorrow. I wasn't expecting the third degree."

Charles frowned into his phone. "I don't think it's unreasonable to ask where you will be taking it." Talking to Raven these days always made Charles want a drink. He made his way to the kitchen and spied a half-full bottle of wine on the counter. Thank Christ. 

"You don't need a _job_ ," he continued. "I'd rather you take some classes at a community college." Hopefully transferable ones.

"I know it's hard for you to understand, Charles, but I don't want to be under your thumb forever," she snapped. "I need my own source of income."

Charles inhaled slowly and reached for a wine glass as he pretended what she said didn't hurt him a little. He'd told her multiple times that he would always provide for her, but for some unfathomable reason that made her angry. "College is the way most people get careers, you know."

"I don't want to go to fucking _college_ ," She argued. "I'm not you, Charles. And there are lots of jobs that don't require a college degree."

Charles took what was probably too large a sip of the wine he'd just poured himself. "Yes, you've told me." He bit back a snarky comment about how that had worked out for her in Vegas. He inhaled and exhaled slowly. "So, tell me about this job."

The phone was quiet for a moment and then Raven said carefully, "I'll be working as a massage therapist."

"Is that a euphemism?" Charles asked calmly.

Raven was silent for a moment and Charles knew her well enough to know that she was seething. "No, Charles. It's not. And I don't really want to answer any questions about it. If you don't want to let me borrow your car tomorrow, I'll just figure something else out."

"Of course you can borrow it," Charles said, resigned.

**

The "job" that Raven had landed herself made alarm bells go off in Charles' brain. It was uncomfortably close, in his opinion, to the "work" Raven had found in Las Vegas that had led to her subsequent arrest and probation. Considering that she probably knew _exactly_ how he felt about it, it was not a surprise that Raven did not tell Charles where her new job was. 

But he had his ways. 

Charles "accidentally" left his iPhone in his car when Raven came by to pick it up the next day, and while she was out he logged into the "Find my Friends" app on his iPad and tracked his phone as she drove around New York. She made two stops, and when she had been parked in one location for more than an hour, Charles made a note of the address and grabbed the keys to his spare car, the two-seater. 

He had many times offered to lend one of his cars to Raven indefinitely, but she always refused. 

Charles pulled up outside the storefront with a sign declaring it as "Frost Massage." He wondered what the hell weird sex thing that was supposed to refer to. He saw the car that Raven had borrowed parked in the lot nearby and settled in to wait, reading some articles on recent developments in genetics research on his iPad while he did. 

After a few hours, he saw Raven exit the building, get in his car, and drive away. It was just before five o’clock. He waited a few more minutes and then went inside. 

**

The woman was beautiful, no doubt. She also had the most insincere smile Charles had ever seen in his life plastered across her face. 

"Could you ask that again, Mr. Smith?" she said coolly. Charles knew she'd heard him perfectly well the first time. 

"What sort of requirements do you have for the girls who work here?" he asked. He was fortunately dressed in some relatively loose-fitting yoga pants and a sweatshirt, so he felt comfortably incognito. 

The owner--Emma Frost, she'd introduced herself as--eyed him for a moment before responding. "Mr. Smith, our massage therapists are certified by the state of New York. And, they are not all girls; we have therapists of both genders."

"So, ah, if I wanted to get something special…?" Charles trailed off. He knew his cheeks were red. He wished he'd put a little more thought into how he was go about trying to find out if Raven was jerking guys off for money again. 

"...I don't think you've come to the right place for that," Ms. Frost said, in a voice so cool it was practically icicles. 

Charles pressed his lips together and tried a different tack. "That's very good to know, Ms. Frost. I was hoping you would say that because I'd like to apply for a job."

She looked at him incredulously for a moment and then barked a laugh. "Are you a certified massage therapist, Mr. Smith?" she asked, rubbing her forehead. 

"Not certified, yet, but I could be easily," he said confidently. "I give very good massages." 

"Mmm." She looked at him for another moment, assessing. "I’d love to continue this but unfortunately I have a client coming in, Mr. Smith. If you'd like to talk more about the professional opportunities here, would you mind waiting in another room? Second door on the left as soon as you leave my office." She added some emphasis to the words _professional opportunities_ that Charles didn't really understand and she had an odd look on her face. Charles frowned slightly and tried to figure out if she was finally admitting to what he suspected about this... _massage parlour._

Then it hit him. "You mean, like a job interview? Or audition?" 

Her blue eyes glittered. "Something like that, Mr. Smith."

Charles smiled wide and went down the hall in the direction she'd indicated. He couldn't remember exactly which door she had specified, though, and they all looked the same, so he pulled one open at random. 

There was a man there lying facedown on a massage table, looking to be completely naked except for the towel covering his ass. 

Charles sucked in his breath. He felt both vindicated and terrified. So, this is how Ms. Frost "interviewed" potential job applicants - sink or swim, he supposed. He nervously stepped forward towards the man. 

The man turned his head so his face faced Charles, although his eyes seemed barely open. "Angel?" he said. He seemed confused. 

"Mmm-hmm," Charles said. He considered just running out the door. He had seen enough to know that Raven was back in sex work, hadn't he? 

Charles thought over everything he had seen and heard thus far at Frost Massage. There was nothing that Raven wouldn't have a counter argument for, he realized. So he was going to have to prove it.

Charles turned to face the man on the table, who had turned his head so he was now facing downward. Charles couldn't help but notice that his body wasn't half bad. He swallowed and committed to his course of action. He only needed to get to a point where the man's expectations were clear, he told himself. 

"Are there any, ah, parts, that need more attention today?" He asked. He tried to sound sultry but he thought he probably sounded shaky. 

The man took a beat before replying. "Not particularly. I'm just here to relax."

Charles forced himself to breathe normally. At least the man hadn't said "full release" or some other bullshit euphemism, Charles reflected, although that was exactly the kind of admission he was looking for. He saw a sink and went over to wash his hands while he worked up the nerve to do this. When the amount of time Charles had spent washing his hands started to feel a little ridiculous, he shut off the water and dried his hands fully. Steeling himself, he grasped the man's calf and started massaging. 

The thing was, Charles really _was_ good at giving massages, and he knew it. And he liked doing it. It was not very long until he actually felt fairly comfortable massaging the man, until the guy started to make _sounds._

At first they were so quiet that Charles thought he was imagining it. The man was making these low, moany noises that made Charles feel--well, turned on. He kept trying not to react, but it was hard. So to speak. 

"Would you mind putting some music on?" The man said abruptly.

Charles almost jumped. Was this something he should have done at the beginning? Did guys getting jerked off really care that much about music while it happened? Charles stammered an apology out. 

“It’s fine,” the man mumbled, sounding amused. “Not a big deal if you don’t have anything to play.”

“No, I’m sure that..." Charles saw a boombox on the counter and a stack of CDs. Ah-ha. "Is there anything you would especially like to hear?”

“I’m not picky."

Charles almost snorted. That must be true, for he had barely looked at Charles since he'd entered the room. _Some guys don't care who is on their dick_ , Charles reflected. 

He looked through the music for the sexiest music he could find--it was mostly new-age stuff, actually--and was pleased to find an Enigma album. He put it on and he a newfound respect for massage guy--well, at least for his music suggestion. The music _was_ a good idea. Charles felt sexier already.

He got back to work, kneading the man's flesh and frankly enjoying it. The man seemed to be enjoying it as well--Charles had massaged plenty of lovers in his time, and he could read body language well enough to know that massage guy was getting off on what he was doing. A small warm feeling of guilty pleasure pooled in Charles' groin. 

When he was high enough on the man's thigh that the man seemed about to speak, Charles switched to the man's shoulders. He revised his assessment of the man's body up from "not half bad" to "good lord." His skin was smooth and golden and there was not any spare fat on him. 

Charles took his time. He didn't know how long he was supposed to take but he was enjoying giving the massage and the man certainly wasn't complaining. But after about twenty minutes Charles figured it was time to get down to business. He started on the man's thighs again, enjoying the slightly teasing nature of rubbing closer and closer to the man's sex organs.

He and massage guy were both breathing heavily now. Charles' erection was tenting out his yoga pants when he murmured, "Would you like to turn over?"

A pause, and then: "Sure." The man seemed oddly unhappy about this, and Charles suddenly doubted everything he was doing until the man sighed and actually did turn over, and, oh, good god. Massage guy was looking at the door for some reason, like he was expecting someone else to come in, but Charles' brain had stopped working at full capacity when his eyes caught sight the frankly _huge_ bulge pushing up, barely contained within the briefs he was still wearing under the towel. 

Charles might have licked his lips. He glanced at the man's face and did a double take because the guy was bloody _gorgeous._

Hung like a horse and freaking beautiful? Charles felt like he'd won the lottery of audition massages. "Would you like me to finish your massage or take care of that now?" he said cheekily to the man, flicking his eyes towards the man's towel-covered crotch. 

The man seemed stunned, clearly still aroused though, so Charles drew some patterns on the man's chest with his fingers before deciding that no answer _was_ an answer and climbed on top of the massage table, carefully letting his weight down on the man's upper thighs, right below his cock. 

Charles had to admit he was looking forward to this. Maybe Raven was onto something after all. 

The thought was like a bucket of ice water and Charles tried to hold on to the warm arousal instead when the man said, or rather gasped, "There's been a misunderstanding."

Charles froze. "What?"

"I don't--this--Did Emma put you up to this?" The man looked half debauched and half confused, his green eyes even holding a trace of fear. 

The haze of arousal clouding Charles’ mind instantly evaporated and Charles suddenly realized the reality of the situation: he had walked into the room of a man waiting for a completely normal massage and essentially had--nearly--sexually assaulted him. 

Charles felt sick. "Oh my god," he said. He stumbled off the bed and left the room immediately, making a beeline for his car. What had he just done?


	3. Raven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Picks up immediately after Charles left the spa)

"Would you like to make a police report?"

Erik stared at Emma. They had moved back to her office to sit down after Angel had been appropriately soothed and given the rest of the hour off. Erik doubted Angel would accidentally walk into the Brig again.

"Is that a serious question?"

Emma looked at him steadily. "He assaulted you, Erik."

Erik snorted. "Hardly. More like gave me one of the best massages I've ever had."

Emma's perfectly shaped eyebrows arched at Erik. " _Did_ he jerk you off, Erik?"

"No," Erik said firmly. He didn't add that if the man hadn't run off, Erik probably would have let him finish the job, so to speak. Okay, more like definitely. "But...did you get his phone number?"

Emma glared at him. "Really, Erik? Should I just send all the perverts to you now?"

Erik frowned. Something just didn't add up still. "You really think he was a pervert? He seemed...Emma, the moment I said 'there's been a mistake' he looked terrified and ran out of there. I feel like he wasn't here to get off."

"No, he was here to get _you_ off," Emmas said crisply. 

Erik idly played with a little metal sculpture sitting on Emma's desk. "What exactly did he say to you?"

"You aren't seriously...Erik, he gave me a fake name. He's a creep."

"I'm a creep," Erik said bluntly, looking up at Emma. "What did he tell you his name was?"

"John Smith." Emma sighed. "He came in with a bunch of questions about our hiring process, asking about getting something ‘special’...basically hinting that he knew something untoward was going on here. When I told him in no uncertain terms that we were on the up-and-up, he asked for a job."

He did sound like a creep, Erik reflected. Not that he felt especially deterred by that.

"Did he fill out a job application?"

"You are unbelievable." 

“I never claimed to be a good person.” 

Emma stood up. "If I had any contact information, I would be pressing charges against him myself. So I ask again: do you want me to call the police?"

Erik exhaled noisily. "No."

**

Charles' heart was pounding as he almost ran out of the building and got into his car. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," he muttered to himself. He had really gotten carried away, but he could still feel that man's body under his hands...

Charles felt sick as he put himself in the man's position, though. The way the man seemed so shocked at the end--he probably wasn't even into men, and Charles had made him hard, and might possibly have given the guy a complex. Charles wondered what the legal definition of rape was and felt faint as he thought he made have come close to that. What kind of a person was he?

Charles swallowed back the bile and drove carefully. He just needed to stay out of Raven's affairs, he decided. Or at least try to. 

**  
 _(Six months later)_

Raven loved her new job. 

There was a reason she had gotten into "tantric massage" in Vegas when all her friends were telling her she could make better money stripping. Raven didn't want to be a spectacle, an object on display; the thought made her skin crawl. However, she _could_ put her hands on people, and she could even actually enjoy that--to a point. 

Unfortunately the _point_ of what she'd been doing in Vegas had been the icky part. 

But now that she was back in New York, even though she was still living with her overprotective brother, she had a job she enjoyed and Emma Frost was a great boss. Raven had applied for a job at Frost Massage half-way into a 4-week massage therapy certification course and Emma had offered to let Raven do some of her required volunteer hours at her spa. Emma had very strict guidelines about what was acceptable behavior and what was not, and the one time Raven had gotten a creep who expected a "happy ending" she had simply excused herself and let Emma handle it, per the employee guide.

She saw the guy leaving, and he looked terrified. Raven wasn’t sure she wanted to know how Emma got the results she did. She later learned about the Brig, but only because Emma said an employee had ended up there by accident once and she didn’t want it to happen again.

Raven thought Emma might have suspected something about Raven's history with massage, but she never said anything to Raven about it. In fact, after a few months they became friends, and would often go out after work together to have drinks. Sometimes Emma's friend Erik came along, which was weird for Raven at first since he was one of her more frequent clients, but once she got to know him she realized that he was a good guy with an edgy sense of humor that she found hilarious. 

One evening Emma, Raven, Angel and Erik had planned to go out for drinks but Angel had some family emergency and Emma wasn't feeling well, so it just ended up being Erik and Raven. Erik told Raven a meandering story of when he tried to rob a bank when he was seventeen, drunk and high, and he had gotten stuck on a fence when he was trying to make his getaway. He said he’d had to lie to the police officers with a straight face and make-up a description of some imaginary bank robbers - when the bag of money was lying nearby under a trash bag, just out of Erik's reach. 

Raven laughed her ass off. She wasn't completely sure if the story was true, but she felt a sense of camaraderie with Erik upon realizing that she wasn't the only one with a criminal past. She had a little treat burning a hole in her pocket and she decided to push the envelope a little. Because that's what she did. 

She leaned in towards him, her mouth so close to his ear it was almost touching, and whispered, "Do you want to do some blow?"

Erik was two beers in and he pulled away to study Raven's face with slightly narrowed eyes. Raven held her breath for a moment. Erik was undeniably gorgeous, model-gorgeous in fact, but he had never once hit on her or even flirted with her--or anyone else, to Raven's knowledge. She couldn't couldn't figure out if that was because he was gay or shy or just because Emma had terrorized him into staying away from her employees, but it had started to get under her skin a little. 

Abruptly he chuckled a bit. "I haven't had a real bump in ten years," he said, one corner of his mouth slightly turned up. 

Raven raised her eyebrows and gave him an expectant look. 

He rubbed his cheek. "Magda has Lorna for the next two days," he said thoughtfully. "Yeah, okay."

Raven had gathered that he was divorced and had a daughter, but he had never been really forthcoming about the details. She grinned at him. "Your car?" She said. They both knew she didn't have one, as she had mentioned that she had to borrow her brother's whenever she needed one to run errands that required a vehicle. 

Erik shook his head. "I walked here. My place isn't far," he said slowly. 

Raven took that as an invitation, of course, and stood up. "Great! Let's go."

She was bouncing like a teenager on the walk to his place and Erik was amused. Raven was fun. He liked her. She had a raunchy sense of humor and, it seemed, absolutely no fear. He admired that because he identified with it--at least he used to, before he’d been saddled with things like a kid and alimony and work deadlines.

Raven looked around in appreciation as they walked into his apartment. "Nice digs," she said admiringly. He had a very tidy home, tastefully if somewhat austerely decorated in shades of grey with magenta splashes. 

"Thanks." Erik didn't have visitors over frequently; well, ever, really. Only Lorna, and she technically lived there half the time. He always went out to meet Emma. "You want a drink?"

"Nah, I'm good." She sat down on his grey leather sofa and pulled out a bag of white powder and a tiny spoon. She dipped the spoon into the bag and lifted it to her nostril and inhaled quickly and then gave him a goofy grin and passed the bag and spoon to him. 

"Back in the day, we'd do this with a mirror and a razor blade," Erik mused, accepting the baggie from Raven. 

"That's some 1980's shit right there," Raven said, kicking off her shoes and leaning back on the sofa. "How old are you, anyway?"

Erik snorted his bump. Ah, that familiar burn; not entirely pleasant, but there were worse feelings. "I'm thirty-two."

"Oh really?" Raven looked at him with mild surprise. "I thought you were older."

"Fuck you," Erik said with a laugh. She stuck her tongue out at him. "I've been ridden hard and put away wet," Erik added. 

"Uh-huh," Raven said, her green eyes dancing at him. "Guess how old I am?"

Erik looked at her appraisingly. She was sitting sideways on his sofa, one socked foot curled under her and the other resting against his thigh. Her cheeks were flushed and Erik was surprised to realize that this blond female was actually making him feel the slightest tingle of arousal. "Twenty-three," he said. 

She pouted. "What the fuck?"

"Am I wrong?"

"No, you're exactly right." 

Erik laughed, long and loud. Raven grinned and she was beautiful and fun and it seemed like the next logical step when she crawled into his lap and planted a kiss on him. Erik kissed her back, not thinking of anything except that moment and how good it felt to kiss and be kissed. It had been a long time. 

Then they were frantically undressing each other and Erik was laughing because everything was bright and happy and he wanted to fuck this pretty, grinning girl and she she wanted him to fuck her. Erik let his mind take a break from the worries of raising a daughter, the stress of his engineering job and for the first time in a long time he did something that felt good without worrying about the consequences. 

**

Raven didn’t stay the night. She did kiss him goodbye and seemed kind of smug about the whole thing, but Erik didn’t let that worry him. Maybe she’d made some kind of bet with someone about whether or not he would sleep with her. He didn’t really care one way or the other. 

They both still hung out with Emma and some of the other masseuses at the bar frequently, but Raven never brought up what happened or seem interested in a second round. Erik felt a little relieved because he actually liked Raven as a friend and didn’t want to feel like he should start avoiding her, but he did decide that he should probably not receive massages from her anymore.

He had passed up Raven in favor of other massage therapists three times when Emma finally fixed him with her "icicle gaze," as he called it. “What happened.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t want Raven to massage you anymore,” she stated flatly. “Why?” 

Erik sighed. Emma, unlike Raven, didn’t know when to leave well enough alone. “I don’t think it would be appropriate to tell you.”

That was not the right thing to say. Her eyes flashing, Emma got up and walked around her desk to shut the door and then leaned against her desk. “When people start waving the word ‘appropriate’ around at a business like mine, I become concerned, Erik. Did she touch you--well, inappropriately?”

Erik pinched the bridge of his nose. “Emma. Jesus. No. Raven and I just...we hooked up, one night, _not here,_ and now I don’t feel right paying her to massage me.”

Emma stared at him expressionlessly until he almost started to sweat. Then she exhaled abruptly. “As the owner of Frost Massage, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. As your friend...Erik, what the fuck? You’re the one who told me you tried being with a woman and it didn’t take.”

“Well, it didn’t take this time either,” Erik said dryly. He looked up at Emma. “This was a one-time thing, Emma. It’s fine; we’re both fine, I just want to be on the safe side and not have her as my masseuse anymore.”

Later, he would wish he’d chosen being on the safe side sooner. 

**

_(Three months later)_

Charles and Raven had been getting along surprisingly well. He couldn’t remember the last time they had fought. Charles thought it probably had something to do with the fact that they had barely seen each other in the past month. In fact, she had just called to beg him to come to a bar and hang out with her and her friends. He was dragging his feet because she mentioned some co-workers might be there. 

“Will I get to meet the wonderful boss you are always talking about?” he said lightly. He was pretty sure she hadn’t been home much in the past three or four weeks, come to think of it, despite the fact that they ostensibly lived together. She’d been spending her nights somewhere else and he was doing his big-brother best to trust her and not ask where she was sleeping. 

“No, unfortunately, Emma is out of town,” Raven said, seemingly honestly regretful. It crossed Charles’ mind that perhaps Emma was Raven’s new slumber buddy, but he put that unpleasant thought out of his mind. Not that he would care if his sister was into women, he just didn’t want to have to face the woman who would undoubtedly recognize him from his ill-advised visit to Raven’s work that embarrassing day, now almost nine months before. 

“Pleeeeease, Charles?” Raven wheedled. 

Charles chuckled and pretended to be grudgingly convinced, although he’d actually decided to go the minute he realized Emma Frost wasn’t going to be there. 

**

The bar was nothing special, but Raven seemed to be celebrating something. She squealed and hugged Charles when he arrived. “I want to introduce you,” she said, tugging him over to a table in the corner. There was a man standing with his back to Charles and Raven tugged on his arm to get him to turn around. Charles felt the ground drop out from under him when he saw the man’s face.

“Massage guy,” he whispered. 

“Charles, this is Erik,” Raven said, looking up at the man adoringly and not noticing how Charles had blanched. Massage guy grinned down at Raven before turning to look at Charles as he simultaneously extended his hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Charles; I’ve heard a lot--” as Erik looked at Charles’ face for the first time his voice cut off with an ugly sound that wasn’t quite a cough. Raven looked at Erik in alarm. Charles was still staring at him, as white as a sheet. 

“Erik, are you okay? Do you want some water?” She shot an embarrassed look to Charles just as he looked away. 

“Uh--I’m--actually, yes,” Erik finally managed. “Water would be…” he trailed off. 

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” She said. “I hope you’re not getting sick!” She gave him a bright look and squeezed his bicep with one hand before she went to get him the water.

Ironically, it was Charles who thought he might be sick. Of all the people in the world Raven decided to finally dump that loser Az for, it had to be _massage guy_? 

Erik, however, recovered quickly and also seemed to be disturbingly amused by the development. “Raven never told me that you were _both_ interested in massage,” he said, smirking. 

Charles wanted the ground to swallow him whole. He could not deal with Mr. Handsome McSmug _looking_ at him that way when Charles knew the guy was banging his sister. “I need a drink,” he announced loudly and stalked towards the bar without excusing himself. 

He had three shots of Patron in a row before he decided he was up to facing the music, as it were. Also, Raven was screaming “Charles Charles Charles,” at the top of her lungs across the bar. He reluctantly dragged himself back over to stand near her table which seated about a half-dozen people Charles didn’t know, clutching a double shot of tequila as he did so.

Raven beamed at him as he walked up. “Well, there you are! Geez, Charles, I’ve been waiting for you because I--we--have something important to announce.”

_Oh fuck oh jesus oh no._

Raven turned to Erik with a smile and then turned back to address the group, although her eyes were on Charles. “I guess I’ll just say it--Erik and I are getting married!” 

There was a collective gasp from the table. A part of Charles’ brain took perverse pleasure in the fact that he clearly wasn’t the only person who was not expecting the announcement. However, it was completely unnerving that both Raven and Erik only had eyes for him in that moment. 

Charles tossed back the rest of his drink and left the vicinity of the table without saying a word. 

**

Charles was too fucked up from the Patron to drive home, unfortunately. He went to the patio to which the smokers were relegated and bummed a cigarette just to have an excuse to be outside, even though he didn’t usually smoke. He pretended to listen to what the cigarette guy was talking about but inside he was a mess. He was vacillating between being angry at Raven and being angry at massage guy-- _Erik_ \--and when he realized he really didn’t have justification to be angry at either of them he was mad at himself. 

Somehow he ended up in the alley and was seriously contemplating punching the wall when someone walked up. “Emma wanted to press charges, you know,” the man said. 

“She should,” Charles said clearly, not looking at him, sucking on his bummed cigarette which was now down practically to the filter. He tossed the butt away and turned to the man, presenting both his wrists to the man, palms up. “Arrest me now; it’s probably for the best.”

Erik looked at his wrists and then up to his face. “I thought Angel suited you.” he said softly. 

Charles looked at the man incredulously. “Excuse me? No. No, my sister’s fiance is _not_ flirting with me!”

Charles pushed past the man, his shoulder bumping into Erik’s aggressively. Erik turned suddenly and used the back of his forearm to shove and hold Charles against the wall. Charles felt fear leap into his throat. There was nobody else around. 

Erik studied Charles’ face for a moment, holding him against the wall, paying special attention to his lips. “This could be considered assault, you know,” Charles said finally, his throat dry. 

Erik’s gaze travelled back up to Charles’ eyes. “I guess we’re even then,” he said lightly. Charles expected him to let go then but he leaned in closer, smelling of beer, his voice pitched deep and quiet. “I’ve thought a lot about that massage you gave me.”

Charles swallowed and tried to ignore the arousal creeping up his spine. _The man may look like a greek god but he is an asshole,_ Charles told himself firmly. He shoved Erik hard and the taller man stumbled back a step, laughing. 

“I will do a lot to protect my sister,” Charles growled, part explanation and part warning. Then he punched Erik right in his stupid handsome face.

Charles had never punched anyone before. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but Jesus Christ, his hand _hurt_. He saw with some satisfaction a flash of anger in Erik's eyes before Charles got a shoulder to the gut and the wind completely knocked out of him. He grunted as he stumbled back and fell against the wall. 

The bouncer, a ridiculously muscled man with an equally ridiculous hairstyle, came out into the alley. “Are you two gonna cut it out, or am I gonna have to call the cops?” 

Erik took two steps back, holding his hands up. Charles, leaning against the wall and still trying to catch his breath, half-bent over, snarled and launched himself at Erik. He wasn’t surprised when the bouncer grabbed the back of his shirt roughly and said resignedly, “Cops it is, then.”

**

The police arrived surprisingly quickly; they pulled up just as the bouncer had finished half-dragging Charles through the crowded bar, Erik trailing them. A bored cop put handcuffs on Charles to his dark satisfaction when Erik said, “If you’re arresting him, you should arrest me too. We were both fighting.”

“Fuck off,” Charles snarled. 

The cop looked between the both of them and sighed, crooking his finger at Erik, who obligingly held up his hands for the cuffs. 

The last thing Charles saw as the cop was ducking his head down to put him in the back of the car was Raven, standing outside on the curb, with an expression of horrified disbelief on her face. He watched her through the glass, feeling oddly detached as her lips clearly formed the words “What the fuck,” before she stalked back inside. 

“Hey, brother,” Erik said to him with a smirk from the other side of the car. Charles gritted his teeth and studiously avoided meeting Erik’s gaze. It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanring for het (Because I know some people just hate that), recreational cocaine use, and mild violence - one protagonist punches the other.


	4. Jail

Erik didn’t say anything else to Charles on the way to the police station, and by the time they got there Charles had calmed down significantly. They were booked and led inside to what appeared to be the drunk tank, going by the smell.

Charles had never been arrested before and was feeling rather scared and more than a little stupid for getting himself into this. He walked to an unoccupied portion of wall--all the bench seats were taken, as were the corners--and stood there with his back to it, willing Raven to hurry and get the bail money together.

Of course Raven would bail him out. He had always bailed her out. 

Erik came to stand directly in front of him and Charles sighed. There was no escape from this, he realized. Best to grab the bull by the horns. 

Erik opened his mouth to say something but before he could Charles asked, “How long have you known Raven?”

Erik shut his mouth and looked consideringly at Charles. “I met her around the same time I met you,” he said levelly. “I don’t remember, honestly, if it was before or after.”

Charles pressed his lips together. He needed to just forget about the day they first met, but Erik didn’t seem to want to let him do that.

Erik started to say something else and Charles cut him off again. “What do you do for a living?” 

Erik crossed his arms and aimed a steely glare at Charles. “Am I being interrogated, then?”

Charles just glared back at him, waiting for an answer.

“I’m an electrical engineer,” he said finally. “I make good money.”

Charles nodded. “And why do want to marry Raven?”

Erik looked at Charles and then away. For the first time--except possibly right after he hit Erik in the alleyway--Charles saw a chink in Erik’s sarcastic armor. “Do you have children, Charles?”

Charles blinked. That is not what he had been expecting Erik to say. “Erm, no.” _Unless you count Raven,_ he didn’t say. “Do you?”

Erik looked at Charles for a minute without speaking. “A daughter,” he said finally, quietly. “Her mother and I are divorced.” 

Charles was trying to think of a biting comeback about Raven marrying a divorceé when Erik added, even quieter, “And one on the way.”

Charles sucked in his breath and leaned his head back against the wall as the full implication of what Erik said hit him. “Oh no, no, you can’t…” He closed his eyes. 

“I don’t think you should hit me again,” He heard Erik say. “Not here, anyway. Maybe some other time.” The barest hint of suggestion was in his voice.

Charles had not actually felt like hitting Erik again until his last sentence. The bastard was _still_ flirting with him. He reached out with both arms and shoved Erik before he had thought it through. 

Suddenly every eye in the drunk tank was on them. Charles swallowed and looked around, his anger evaporating. “Sorry,” he muttered to Erik. 

Erik was very tense, obviously very aware of his surroundings. “It’s fine,” he said to Charles, his eyes darting back and forth as he stepped closer to the shorter man. “I think we owe each other apologies, anyway.”

Charles could tell Erik felt nervous standing facing him, with his back exposed. He felt a small thrill of power at the realization. “Well, I just said, ‘I’m sorry,’ so I’m waiting,” he said, crossing his arms as he looked Erik in the eye.

One corner of Erik’s mouth turned up. “Why do you have to be so…” he exhaled. A moment later, he continued. “I’m an asshole with a death wish, Charles. I always say the worst possible thing and I know it. I’m not saying your sister can’t do better, but she could do a lot worse."

Charles could have said a number of different things, but instead he just looked away.

“My best friend tells me constantly how inappropriate I am,” Erik continued, moving to stand next to Charles and put his back to the wall. He turned his head to face Charles so they could keep conversing privately. “But I think maybe Raven and I have that in common?”

Charles shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to like this man. It felt like a dangerous, slippery slope. And he could tell where this conversation was leading. 

“You want us to be friends,” Charles said bluntly, ripping the metaphorical bandaid off before the other man could say it. 

“Well--yes. We’re going to be family, after all,” Erik said, a shadow of a smile gracing his lips, as his eyes roved over Charles’ face. 

His interest sure didn’t _feel_ familial. 

Charles hung his head forward a bit as he tried to process the revelations and events of the evening. He swallowed. “Please, you can’t ever tell Raven...about…that day.” Charles spoke very quietly, almost inaudibly. He felt his cheeks heat up and he could not bring himself to look Erik in the eye. 

Erik moved closer in order to hear Charles. When Charles finally turned to look at him, Erik’s face was startlingly close to Charles’. Erik seemed utterly fascinated by his features, and especially Charles’ lips. “I won’t,” he promised quietly. Charles felt the breath on his chin and for one giddy moment he was positive Erik was going to kiss him. 

“Xavier, Lehnsherr,” a guard called from outside the cage. Both men’s head snapped forward. “Bailed. Out you go.”

“Saved by the bail,” Charles muttered as they both started walking toward the door and was mortified to see Erik shoot him a very amused glance. 

On top of everything, the man appreciated Charles’ stupid, punny sense of humor? 

Raven was _pissed,_ of course, as she had every right to be. But underneath her anger Charles could detect a certain smugness. After all, this was a role reversal for them. Drunk and emotionally exhausted, Charles fell asleep in the car on the way home.

**

The next morning, Sunday, Charles was awakened by Raven walking into his bedroom and sitting on his bed. He looked at her through one barely open eye. "Morning," he mumbled. “I guess you both stayed the night?” 

"Yup!" She said with a grin, bouncing on the bed until she decided to come snuggle up next to him. "How's that hangover treating you?" Charles groaned in response. His head hurt and it was way too bright in his room. 

But it was nice to have Raven here. Charles kissed the top of her head and ached for an earlier time when everything wasn't quite so complicated. 

"So what do you think of Erik?" Raven asked, pulling back a little so she could look at his face.

"Oh god..." Charles sighed. "Already? Okay. My honest opinion is that he's an asshole."

Raven frowned at him. "Seriously, Charles?"

"Seriously, Raven. Why do you think I punched him?"

Her eyes went comically wide. "You _punched_ him?"

Charles gave her a baffled look. "Why do you think we got arrested? Didn't Erik tell you?"

"He told me to ask you." 

"Ah." Charles was going to say something else, but just then Erik appeared in the doorway, wearing a T-shirt and boxer briefs. Charles stiffened and subconsciously tightened his arm around Raven a bit more. 

"Looks cozy," Erik drawled. "Room for one more?" An expression that might have been jealousy flashed across his face, but it disappeared quickly.

Raven giggled and rolled over to look at Erik. Charles just glared at him. 

"Charles was just about to tell me why he thinks you're an asshole," Raven said, with a smirk, turning back to face Charles. 

"Oh, well, you'll be here for a while then," Erik said lightly. "Shall I go start breakfast?"

"If you can find anything," Raven called to Erik, as he had just disappeared down the hall.

The whole interaction made Charles feel very cranky.

Raven searched Charles' face. "You really don't like him?" she asked. She looked open and vulnerable in a way Charles hadn't seen in years. "Because I thought you would, because, well, he's really great, to me. What did he do last night to deserve getting punched?"

Charles felt suddenly like this was all upside down. Maybe _he_ was the asshole here. Maybe he had misinterpreted the things Erik said as flirting because he was attracted to the man. "He's just--" Charles exhaled in frustration. "He just--he says things that are--inappropriate, I guess."

Raven pressed her lips together in a tight smirk. "Inappropriate? I thought that was your pet name for me."

Charles laughed despite himself. She did have a point; he had used that word to refer to Raven or her actions a lot over the years. He steeled himself to ask the next question he needed to ask, the words _and one on the way_ strongly reverberating in his mind. "Last night Erik told me--well, he strongly implied--that you are pregnant."

Raven did not respond for a moment, just lying in the crook of his arm and breathing. Then she asked quietly, "Are you mad?"

Confirmation. Charles closed his eyes and responded automatically. "Of course I'm not mad, Raven. It's just...I hate to see you throw your life away. You are so smart and have so much potential--"

She stiffened and Charles realized he'd put his foot in his mouth, and that he had probably just kicked off their pattern: Raven would yell at him to mind his own fucking business, she would leave for days, and they wouldn't make up until she needed to borrow some money or the car. He held her tightly anyway. "Wait, please. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Raven was still clenched, but she didn't say anything. She didn't yell. She just waited, tensely, her face looking away from him. Charles felt some mild surprise that she didn't go ballistic. He started to speak and stopped a few times before he decided on the right thing to say.

"If you want this child, then that's what I want for you," he said finally. He couldn't help adding, "But I don't want you to feel like you have to marry Erik. I would be perfectly happy if you wanted to raise your baby here."

She relaxed against him, a little, and entwined her fingers with his. "I know you would be." She looked up into his face, biting her lip. "We're going to get married on New Year's Eve in Atlantic City. A really small ceremony - just us and two witnesses. We'd like if you would be one of the witnesses."

Charles was stunned speechless. Halloween had just passed, so the date they were talking about was a little less than eight weeks away. "Aren't you--isn't that--awfully fast?"

Raven shrugged, smiling. "I guess, but, we have our reasons,” she said vaguely. 

There was one more question that was burning in Charles' mind. He was both afraid of the answer and yet he needed to ask. He hugged Raven tightly and whispered into her hair. "Do you love him?"

Raven didn't respond for a few moments and then said, "That's a dumb question, Charles." Then Charles shrieked when she abruptly started tickling him. "So--unfair," he gasped when he had a chance to catch his breath. Raven had never been ticklish at all. She giggled and ran out of the room in response to Erik calling from the kitchen, "Everything alright with you two?"

Charles felt a tiny thread of hope. By not answering the question, Raven might have just as well said that she didn't love Erik, which meant perhaps she would come to her senses and not marry him. And Charles had eight weeks to try and and make that wedding not happen.

Raven walked into the kitchen, where Erik appeared to be successfully making pancakes. “Oh, wow,” she said. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

Erik looked at her, amused. “It’s flour, sugar, butter and eggs--not rocket science.”

“Well, it might as well be, for me and Charles,” Raven sighed, sitting on one of Charles kitchen stools. 

“So, I thought you weren’t a cuddler?” Erik said, shooting her a quick look with half a smile.

“Oh, that’s all Charles,” Raven said dismissively. “He’s the snuggler.”

Erik didn’t say anything, but he looked thoughtful.

**

Emma met Erik outside his work right as he got off work Monday afternoon with a coffee for each of them. "Spill," she said sternly. Erik guessed she didn't mean the drink. 

"I take it you've heard some gossip?" he said mildly to her, accepting the beverage. They walked in the general direction of his home, which wasn't far from his work. 

"Angel told me she ended up at your and Raven's engagement party Saturday night," Emma said casually. "You can imagine my surprise at hearing that."

Erik winced. "I'm sorry, Emma. It all happened really quickly."

She laughed. "You don't have to apologize to me, Erik. It's not like I'm mad. I think you might be certifiably insane, but that just makes you more fun at parties."

Erik grinned at her. Even though she was a ruthless bitch, Emma was still one of his favorite people. "I have to go pick-up Lorna tonight, so I'll just give you the reader's digest version: Raven is pregnant, and I'm doing the right thing by her." He ignored Emma's dropped jaw and kissed her on the cheek. "I'll tell you more later."

**

_(Three weeks later)_

"You should take Erik out for a Bachelor's night," Raven said to Charles over brunch. He nearly choked on his eggs benedict. 

"Um. Wouldn't it be more appropriate for some of Erik's friends to do that?" Charles said weakly. 

"Well," said Raven, swallowing her food, "I thought it might be rude to ask people who aren't coming to the wedding." 

"Oh." Charles remembered that the plan for the wedding was that it would only be Erik, Raven, Charles, and the other witness, whoever that was going to be. 

Raven eyed Charles suspiciously. "You're not upset that I'm not having a huge over-the-top wedding, are you?"

"Not at all," Charles said honestly. He cast his mind about desperately for a reason he could give to Raven that she should postpone or cancel the wedding altogether, and he couldn't think of anything. Just perfect. The meal marked the first time since he’d been arrested that Charles had managed to have a face-to-face conversation with Raven alone, so of course Charles couldn't think of a single persuasive argument. 

"You guys could go to a Chippendales show or something," Raven giggled. 

Charles frowned at Raven for a good minute before he spoke again. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know, it's like a strip show but with men," Raven said, waving a hand in the air and stealing a piece of bacon off Charles' plate.

"I know what it is, Raven," Charles said, with strained patience, "I'm just not sure why you would say that."

"Oh, because you both like men," she said artlessly. 

Charles stared at Raven. She was oblivious, being extremely interested in the food she was eating. "Erik told you he likes men?"

"Uh-huh. He's bi."

Charles wanted to pound his head on the table in utter frustration. "Of course he is."

"He told me he wants to know you better," Raven continued. "I swear, Charles, if you get to know him you really will like him. It's kind of impossible not to."

That, of course, is exactly what Charles was afraid of. He drank his mimosa slowly and pushed the rest of his meal at Raven, who was very happy to finish it. He had somehow lost his appetite, but since she was eating for two, hers was going strong.

"Fine. Yes," he said abruptly. "I'll take Erik out for a stag night.” 

**

The ‘stag night’ happened the Saturday night between Christmas and New Year's Eve, three days before the wedding date. They met to have dinner at a quiet italian restaurant on the upper west side that Charles had selected. Charles decided before the evening began that he was not going to drink; he wanted to have his wits about him for the evening. 

Charles arrived and was seated first. When Erik arrived, he shot a couple significant glances around the room. "Kinda feels like a date," he said casually.

Charles laughed, caught completely off-guard, and tried to turn it into a cough. "Inappropriate, Erik." 

Erik smirked at him. "Sorry. I'll try to be good."

_Why does everything he say sound like a sexual innuendo,_ Charles thought. "I know this is probably not what you were expecting for a stag night," he said. "I just wanted you to have some food in your stomach before you start drinking heavily."

"That's very considerate of you, Charles." Charles eyed Erik for signs of sarcasm but the statement appeared to be genuine. 

They sat for a while in silence that steadily grew more uncomfortable when Erik abruptly said, "I was going to save this for later, but it is really eating at me. _Why_ did you come to the spa that day?"

Charles blanched. "I thought we agreed to never speak of this."

Erik frowned. "No, I never agreed to that. I agreed I wouldn't tell Raven, and I haven't. But I just can't wrap my head around what you were doing there."

"Your first instinct was correct," Charles said crisply. "You should ask me later." He decided to have a drink after all and flagged down the waiter. 

Erik laughed, and a warm, bright smile remained on his face as he gazed at Charles. It almost hurt to look at him, so Charles busied himself with reading the menu. 

**

Charles had drunk three glasses of wine by the time the salad course was completed. Erik was nursing a beer and was handling the bottle in a way that Charles found extremely distracting. 

"You told Raven you like men," Charles said suddenly, apropos of nothing. It was a lot easier to talk to Erik when he'd been drinking, he realized. He wasn't so hung up on making sure each thing he said was the right thing to say. 

Erik's smile faded. "Yes, I told her that."

"Isn't she--worried?"

Erik didn't seem as amused by Charles now. "Maybe you should ask her that yourself."

"Oh no," said Charles, shaking his head. "She wouldn't like that at all."

"And you think I do?"

"The difference," Charles said to one of the Eriks in front of him, because there were two, now, "The difference is that I don't care what you think." He laughed and hiccuped. 

Erik continued to stare at Charles. He wasn't smiling anymore, which made Charles feel both a little sad and but also somewhat triumphant. "I think you do care what I think." Erik grasped Charles' hand across the table with one of his and rubbed his thumb across the inside of Charles' wrist. "In fact, I think you would really enjoy pleasing me."

"I'm not imagining this," Charles said loudly, with his head turned but his eyes on Erik. He didn't pull his hand away. 

"You did once," Erik continued, as if Charles hadn't spoken. He leaned in, tugging Charles' hand a little closer to himself. "Tell me what happened, Charles. That day at the spa. Why did you massage me the way you did?"

Charles sucked in his breath, not speaking, utterly frozen. 

"Actions have consequences, Charles," Erik continued, looking now at their hands. "And if having to tell me is the only unpleasantness that results from your...indiscretion, then you've gotten off easily." He raised his eyes to meet Charles' again.

"Oh, there's been plenty of unpleasantness because of it," Charles said, a little bitterly. "I have to deal with my sister being engaged to the one person who knows how low I can actually sink."

Erik looked very disturbed by Charles' words. He frowned unhappily. 

"I--that day...I didn't believe that Raven's job was...what she said it was," Charles said haltingly, finally pulling his hand away from Erik. Erik relinquished it easily. "I thought she was doing what she--" Charles cut himself off with a frown, not sure how much Raven had told Erik. 

"What she'd been doing in Vegas?" Erik finished gently. "She told me, you know."

"She did?” Charles was a little surprised, because she rarely told anyone about that time. “Oh. Well. Anyway, I went in and spoke to the blond woman at the spa and tried to determine what kinds of ‘services’ were offered there at Frost Massage, and it wasn't clear at all. And then she told me to go into another room and wait for an audition, or an interview."

Charles sucked in a big breath and exhaled slowly. "And...when I went into the room--you were there."

Erik looked thoughtful. "So you thought that I expected..."

"A hand job, yes," Charles said, nodding. 

Erik gave him a look of very fond amusement. "I was trying to think of a better word."

"Well, it is what it is." Charles took a sip of his wine. "You enjoyed it, though, right?"

Erik's face immediately shuttered. 

Charles nearly dropped his wine glass as the realization hit him. "Oh my god. Erik. Really? Oh, I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't mean--I thought--" Charles felt a lump in his throat. "Jesus, _I'm_ the asshole," he said, swallowing back tears, as if he had just suddenly realized it. "I've been angry at you, when really it's been me the whole time." He looked up at Erik, who still had no expression on his face. He reached forward with both hands to grasp one of Erik's. "Please forgive me, Erik. I--made a huge mistake that day, and I--"

Erik pulled his hand back. "Oh, it's not as bad as all that," he said lightly, not looking at Charles. "It's just--there's a reason I prefer female masseuses. I don't like--" he sighed, "--I don't like getting aroused during massages. And it felt like you were trying to do exactly that."

"I was," Charles whispered. 

"And then you ran off, and I didn't have a chance to explain myself." 

Charles frowned at Erik. "What did _you_ want to explain?" 

Erik held his hands up and looked towards the ceiling as if he couldn't find the words. "I wanted to--" he gestured ineffectively, "--talk to you. Figure out what you were thinking by doing that. To--know you better. Maybe...ask you out." Erik's cheeks were definitely redder at the end of the sentence than they were at the beginning. 

"Inappropriate," Charles whispered, staring at Erik, lines creasing his forehead. 

"Inappropriate, _now_ , yes," Erik hissed, looking around to see who else in the restaurant might be listening to their conversation. "But at the time, Raven and I weren't--whatever we are."

" _Engaged_ is what you are," Charles said sharply. He downed the rest of his wine in one sip. 

Erik leaned back, and with the change in lighting Charles could no longer see his eyes. “Has anyone ever told you that you drink too much?”

Charles reflected that he had started the evening deciding not to drink, and had immediately changed his mind. It probably _was_ indicative of a problem, he thought, in a detached kind of way. “No,” he finally said with an oddly crooked smile. “I don’t think anyone’s ever cared enough to.”

The entrees were served then, and neither man spoke for a long time, as they ate in silence. As their plates were being cleared, Charles said, clearing his throat, “The, uh, rest of the evening I had planned…” he could feel his cheeks burning as he looked down. “I probably didn’t use the best judgement.” He looked up at Erik, biting his lower lip. “Probably we should call it a night.”

Erik arched an eyebrow at him, looking unfairly, magnificently sexy. “I’m interested to hear what _you_ consider to be bad judgement, Charles.”

“It’s a gay strip club,” Charles mumbled, his cheeks burning. “Called Not Wrong.”

Erik looked at him for a moment in utter disbelief before he laughed loudly. “I’m glad you warned me,” he said with a soft smile. “That is...not my scene at all. Whatever you are trying to accomplish I suggest you try something--different.”

“I guess getting you drunk is the best I can hope for, then, hmm?” Charles said with a smile. He knew he sounded a little flirty. He didn’t care. 

“I’ll let you get me drunk,” Erik said. It sounded like a concession.

The men left the restaurant. It was cold out, and Charles was shivering. Erik silently passed the shorter man his jacket and Charles muttered, “Thank you.”

They walked for a while without speaking, each man lost in his own thoughts, and Charles actually quite drunk still, although he had sobered up a bit from earlier. 

“Where are we going?” Charles finally asked after a few minutes. 

“My place,” Erik said calmly. “Actually, we’re here.” He stopped in front of a modern-looking mid-rise apartment building. 

There was an awkward pause where Charles wondered if Erik expected him to go up with him or go home. Erik cleared his throat. “Can I offer you a nightcap?” 

Charles wasn’t likely to say no to that, after all. 

**

Once they were inside his apartment, Erik poured each of them a scotch. “I love Scotch,” Charles said approvingly. 

Erik smiled tightly and sat down on the couch, a reasonable distance from Charles. Nothing was said for a few minutes until Charles finally asked, “Is something bothering you, Erik?”

Erik turned and looked at Charles thoughtfully for a minute, as if he had just been given permission to do so. “Why did you want to bring me to a strip club?”

Charles was tired of dancing around the issue. “Because I don’t want you to marry Raven.”

Erik didn’t look that surprised to hear it. “And you thought that would somehow change my mind?” 

Charles shrugged and took a sip of his scotch. “I’m ready to try anything, at this point.”

Erik stared at him for a moment and then snorted. “Surely not _anything_.”

“I’m not going to--” _flirt with you. Or worse._ Charles cut himself off and exhaled in frustration. Time to bring out the big guns, he thought. “Raven doesn’t love you, you know.”

Erik’s eyes went hard for a moment before he relaxed. “Did she tell you that?”

Charles huffed. “Basically.”

“Oh, I see,” Erik said patronizingly. He shook his head. “Charles, why are you so against me and Raven getting married?”

“Goddammit, Erik, you _know_ why!” Charles finally cried out, standing and pacing. 

“I really don’t--”

“Because I like you, okay!” Charles yelled. “Isn’t that what you’ve been getting at, what you’ve wanted me to say? When you were pressing the issue about what happened, what I did, in that damn massage room...yes, I reached for the towel, and I would have done it if you hadn’t stopped me, because you are bloody _fucking_ gorgeous and perfect for me and it’s _not fucking fair!”_

Charles finally finished his rant, breathing hard. Erik didn’t say anything. He just looked at Charles with a slightly knitted brow, then slowly got up and walked over to Charles. Charles watched him approach with large, terrified eyes. Like he might with a skittish animal, Erik very slowly brought his hand to Charles’ face and stroked his thumb across Charles’ cheekbone.

“If Raven and I broke off the wedding tomorrow,” Erik said in a low, thick voice, “Would you date me?” 

Charles wanted that so much it ached, for Raven’s sake and his. He closed his eyes, relishing the feel of Erik’s cool, long fingers on his face. He thought about Raven and how she was the only person who had ever loved him, and how happy she seemed to be about marrying Erik and having his baby. “No,” he whispered, swallowing back the lump that threatened the back of his throat. “No, I wouldn’t.”

He opened his eyes and looked into Erik’s blue-green eyes, inches away from his, and thought that Erik looked far sadder than he had any right to. “I guess it’s settled then,” Erik said with a fake smile that disappeared from his face too quickly. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”


	5. Atlantic City

_(Late September 2014 - One month before the night they announced their engagement)_

Raven's text said only, "We need to talk."

She might as well have said, "I'm pregnant, you stupid fucking asshole, why the hell didn't you use a condom." Because that's exactly what the text meant, and Erik knew it the minute he saw it. Fortunately, it gave him time to have his own personal freak-out over with before he met with Raven to talk about it.

They had coffee together the next morning. Raven was an emotional wreck, shredding napkins as Erik did his best to be a calming influence. "My brother is going to kill me," she said, wiping away a tear. "He's way too overprotective and controlling already."

Erik exhaled. "Whatever you want to do, Raven, I will support you in that decision." 

She huddled over her coffee for a moment and then said in a small voice, "I’m thinking about getting an abortion."

Erik swallowed and nodded. "Okay. I'll pay for it, go with you, whatever you need."

She kept looking at him, as if waiting for him to say something else. "That's what you want to hear, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Because it would be a real headache for you if I wanted to keep it," she continued. 

Erik studied her with his flinty eyes. His face might as well have been granite for all it gave away. "Don't."

"Don't--what?"

"Don't play games with me and tell me what you think I want to hear. Don't try and manipulate me into doing what you want. Just tell me. I might surprise you."

Raven met his eyes for a moment and decided to take his words at face value. Her tears dried up and she sat up a little straighter. "I'd rather keep the baby," she said. "But I don't want to raise it at my brother's house."

Erik waited but she didn't continue. He thought perhaps it would be better to offer after all. He took a deep breath. "So move in with me."

She gave him a disbelieving look. He shrugged. "There's more than enough room. I have three bedrooms. One room is Lorna's. The other one is being used as an office, but I can move my desk into the dining area..." he trailed off at the expression on Raven's face. "What?"

Raven was having trouble finding the words. "Just--as friends? I mean...would we...sex...?"

Erik couldn't help laughing a little at her awkward phrasing. "Honestly, Raven...I don't know. Just because I'm an old man doesn't mean I have all the answers." 

Raven smiled at him, finally relaxing a little. She thought about what it would be like to live with Erik--she couldn't picture it. She certainly couldn't envision being part of a couple with him. 

"Is--I mean--thank you for, well, all of this. But Erik… _if_ this were your choice to make, just yours...what would you do?" 

"Assuming I didn't have access to a time machine so I could shove a condom in my hand that night..." Erik smiled to take the sting out of his words, then became more serious. "Kids come first with me. If you have the baby, I want what's best for it, and that is probably living with me." He took a sip of his coffee. "Unless your brother is a millionaire with strong parental instincts," he joked. 

Raven laughed nervously. Um. Anyway. "Could I move in now?" she blurted. "I mean, as like, a trial run. So if we can't stand living together I'll know before I'm out of my first trimester." 

Erik had to think about that. This was a lot of change, and it was happening fast. But Erik firmly believed that people had to live with the consequences of their actions. He had managed to avoid a lot of consequences in his crazy youth, but things always had a way of catching up to him. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he said. “My daughter is coming over tonight, though, and I’d like to talk to her about it first. Maybe I can help you get some of your stuff tomorrow?” 

“Oh, I won’t be bringing that much with me,” she said. “I don’t have a lot that is actually mine. It’s all Charles’s.” Raven gave him a tentative smile. "I'm--thank you, Erik. I know you didn't ask for this." 

Erik looked at her, and for a moment she saw a flash of regret cross his face, but it was gone so quickly she thought she might have imagined it. "You didn't either."

**

Raven was true to her word and didn't bring much of anything with her from her brother's house; in fact, she only brought clothing, toiletries, and her laptop. They got take-out and watched an action movie while sitting on his couch.

Raven felt incredibly awkward anticipating the sleeping arrangements that first night because while she was enjoying hanging out with Erik, he still just really felt like a friend. Despite the fact that they'd had sex that one time when they'd been coked out of their minds, Raven didn’t view him romantically, and he didn't seem to treat her that way. He treated her like a buddy, or maybe a younger sister. 

But it started to get late enough that Raven was nodding off. Finally, she realized she had to address this. "Am I--sleeping on the couch?"

As she thought, Erik seemed to be waiting for this conversation. "It's your call. You can sleep with me in my bed, or here on the couch; you could sleep in my daughter's room, although that's only a temporary solution." He looked at her for a moment before adding gently, "I draw the line at being relegated to my own couch. If you want to sleep in my bed, I'll be sleeping in it too."

Raven considered. Erik had a king-sized bed and if Raven's memory served it was pretty comfortable. It was all very weird, talking about sleeping arrangements this way. But not much about her life had ever been normal. "I'm not really a cuddler," she said hesitantly.

Erik laughed. "I wouldn't presume, and neither am I." 

Raven smiled and thought, well, this will be interesting. 

**

As the weeks went by, Raven and Erik discovered their lifestyles and habits were surprisingly compatible. They always seemed to be in the mood for the same food at the same time and they had the same taste in movies and television-- generally, the more action and violence, the better. Unlike Charles, Erik didn't ask her where she was going or when she would be back or cared who she hung out with. They slept in the same bed, but they didn't have sex or kiss or hold hands or engage in much typical couple affection, just the occasional hug. 

Raven felt like she'd found the perfect relationship. 

One day Raven got home after work and Erik nervously introduced her to Lorna. Raven had to swallow her surprise at realizing that Lorna was fourteen years old. 

"Got started a little young, hmm?" She murmured to Erik as she and Lorna went to the living room to play Mario Kart.

About two weeks after she’d started living at Erik’s she arrived one night sniffling because she’d had an argument with her ex-boyfriend. Az had wanted to meet with her "just to talk," as he'd said, and Raven had reluctantly agreed to meet with him in a coffeeshop. He spent an hour berating her for moving in with a guy who didn't know her past, and he sneered at her that Erik would leave her when he found out. Raven screamed and threw her coffee at him, getting them both kicked out of the coffee shop, but his words had stung her. Az could ruin potentially everything and it made her shake to think about it.

She hurried home, mad at herself for crying but determined to get everything out in the open with Erik. Erik was just getting ready for bed when he saw her and he stopped and stared at her tear-streaked face. "I have to tell you some things,” Raven said immediately.

"Okay," Erik said slowly. “Let’s talk. I should probably tell you some things too."

They talked until three in the morning. Raven told Erik about running away from home at age nineteen and moving to Vegas, where she developed an expensive drug habit and started working as a sensual masseuse in order to pay for it. She told him how jerking off guys for money got really old really fast and one day when Raven suspected the guy on her table was a cop, she didn’t change her routine and let him bust her. She was arrested and served six months for prostitution plus two years probation, which she had completed just before she started working at Frost Massage.

Erik listened and made sympathetic sounds in the appropriate places. He didn't seemed surprised or judgemental. When she was done, Erik told her about his reckless and crime-filled youth, and how although he had never actually gotten caught he'd had a child and married young due to family pressure, and then split up a few years later when it didn't work out. Almost as an afterthought, he came out to her as bisexual, too. 

When all the secrets were on the table, Raven looked at Erik and said, "Well?"

"I'm not hearing any deal breakers," Erik said. "You?"

Raven smiled through her tears of relief and shook her head.

**

One day in late October, after they’d been living together for about a month, Erik's accountant Moira called him to warn him to prepare for a larger-than-usual tax bill that year due to some recent tax law changes. She mentioned, half-jokingly, that he should get married or buy a house before the end of the year if he wanted to save himself a couple thousand dollars. That same day Raven came home seething because Az had texted her something upsetting, and she was on the verge of hysteria about how she needed to see a doctor for the baby but all her health care was under Charles' name and if she saw a doctor Charles would _know_ and she wasn't ready for him to know... 

It all led to Erik having a moment of clarity. "Raven," he said. "Do you want to get married?"

Raven's jaw dropped, but her shrewd mind was quick to realize the benefits. She could join Erik’s health care plan, first and foremost, which would mean Charles wouldn’t know about and be able to show up at every prenatal appointment (she wouldn’t put it past him). Once she confirmed that Erik wasn't joking Raven shrieked and leaped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and squeezing him tightly. He laughed and hugged her back. "I guess that's a yes," he chuckled. 

"Don't do anything stupid like buy me a ring," Raven told Erik as she climbed off him, giving him a big happy grin. "Charles has given me enough jewelry for a lifetime." Most of it she'd pawned her first few months in Vegas, but that just went to show how little she was interested in baubles.

And it was that comment of Raven's, her utter practicality, that made Erik have the thought, _This is the right way. This will work._ Maybe they weren’t entirely conventional, but he genuinely _liked_ Raven a lot, his daughter liked her, and he couldn't very well complain about not having sex because he'd been essentially celibate for several years before he met Raven anyway, so not much was changing in that regard.

And...maybe they would have sex again, at some point. Erik didn't plan on ruling anything out, it just--hadn't come up. By the time they announced their engagement Erik was feeling close enough to Raven that he was pretty sure she would talk to him if she wanted to change that facet of their relationship. But for now--what they had worked. 

**

_(Two nights before the wedding, December 29th, 2014)_

“I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the Bachelor party,” Emma complained as she sat down next to him at the bar, looking as pristinely perfect as she always did. 

Erik was not in a good mood, considering how the evening before with Charles had ended. He grunted noncommittally. 

Emma stared at him, frowning. “No, you were supposed to say something like ‘you’re a girl, girls don’t go to Bachelor parties unless they’re stripping’ and then I would say ‘but you’re not a guy’s guy anyway...oh but guess you are...’” Emma waved a hand at him as she sipped her martini. “Anyway, there’s a gay joke in there somewhere.”

“How politically correct of you,” he said sarcastically. 

Emma carefully put her martini down. “Erik, what’s wrong? You’re getting married in two days. Are you getting cold feet?”

Erik certainly was not going to share with her the reason for his negative demeanor. She might be his closest friend but Erik held his cards close to his chest. He had told Emma about his reasons for marrying Raven, and hers for marrying him, but he hadn’t explained to her the full nature of their relationship. 

He exhaled heavily. “No. I am definitely getting married.”

“That’s not really an answer to my question,” she pointed out gently. 

“Enough about me,” Erik looked up at Emma, forcing a smile. “We haven’t talked in a while. What’s going on with you?”

“Oh, god, I’d much rather talk about your problems,” Emma muttered, sipping her martini. 

“That bad?”

“You know the Brig?”

Erik snorted. “How could I forget?”

“Well, one of the perverts I had put in there for a few hours to teach him a lesson has decided to sue me for false imprisonment.”

“Oh, crap,” Erik said, forgetting his own problems as the enormity of what Emma was dealing with him struck him. “Can you counter-sue him for assault, or whatever it is he tried to do to make you throw him in the Brig?”

“There’s no evidence,” Emma said unhappily. “Angel was his massage therapist, and she refuses to give a deposition or testify. She used to have a job she’s not very proud of and doesn’t want to have it dragged into the situation.”

Erik wondered then if Emma knew about Raven’s past, but he kept his mouth shut. Not his story to tell. 

“Anyway, I’m being sued in civil court, so at least I’m not going to prison. It just may get very expensive.”

“...How expensive?” Erik asked after a moment.

She grimaced. “Well, there’s legal fees of course, but my lawyer has offered me a reduced rate for his services, so that’s good. But he also asks me out at the end of every conversation we have, so I’m still trying to figure out if it’s worth it. The number named in the lawsuit is one hundred thousand.” 

“For holding a guy for three hours?” Erik said incredulously. “Was he a diplomat or something?”

“No, he’s just--” Emma sighed. “Sebastian--my lawyer--thinks maybe we can get him to settle for less. I sure hope so. Anyway, Erik, I was looking forward to talking about your crazy soap opera of a life so I wouldn’t have to think about my problems.”

Erik couldn’t help but laugh. And Emma only knew the tip of the iceberg.

“Everything good with you and Raven?” She prompted gently. 

“As good as it’s ever been,” Erik replied. He steadfastly did not look into Emma’s eyes when he responded. 

“You know what I think?”

“I think you’re going to tell me whether I want to know or not,” Erik said, a smile of some kind finally crossing his face. He started to peel the label off his beer bottle. 

“I think that you have an idealized version in your head of what a family should be, and you are pursuing that vision with Raven.”

Erik laughed, a tad bitterly. “You say that as if not everyone feels that way.”

“Erik, _not everyone feels that way._ I don’t. I want a string of boyfriends who will spoil me, to live by myself and have no more responsibility than owning a cat. Maybe not even that much.”

“Says the business owner,” Erik reminded her.

Emma pulled a face. “That’s a responsibility that’s weighing heavily today. It explains perfectly why I _don’t_ want responsibility in my personal life.” She shivered like she was trying to lose an unpleasant feeling. “But you can’t distract me that easily. I know you are a grown man and you will make your own decisions, but...in the entire time I’ve known you, your dick has gotten hard for dozens of men and exactly one woman, Erik.”

Erik shifted uncomfortably. He couldn’t help but recall the time in college when he and Emma had tried to hook up and he hadn’t been able to maintain an erection. He had been mortified and not able to talk to her for about six months. Emma continued as if she wasn’t aware of his discomfort, which she certainly was. 

“I mean, I know that it must have happened at least once with Magda before I met you, but knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised if there had been drugs involved.”

Anger flared up in Erik’s chest because the words were hitting a little too close to home. “You’re crossing the line, Emma,” he warned. “What the hell are you trying to accomplish anyway? Are you trying to stop me from getting married?”

She studied him for a moment. “I just want you to be more self-aware, Erik. If Raven is your exception to the rule, the one woman who makes you hot, that’s fantastic and I’m thrilled for you both. Honestly. I hope you are fucking on every surface in your home. But based on your attitude today, there’s something less than ideal going on with you.”

“Sex isn’t everything,” Erik mumbled. He finished his beer.

He supposed that was what Emma wanted to hear, because she leaned back and eyed his destroyed beer label thoughtfully. “No, I guess it isn’t.”

**

Erik did consider not marrying Raven, after the conversation with Emma, and after his ‘stag party’ with Charles. He thought about what would really happen if he broke of the wedding. Lorna would be confused and upset; she had very quickly become attached to Raven. Raven would be pissed, probably move out, and then he would be a part-time father to two kids living in different parts of the city, with two child support payments. His accountant would kill him.

Erik laughed at that thought. At least he could still find humor in the dark places.

In fact, Erik’s only reason for _not_ getting married now would be because he wanted to explore his attraction to Charles. Erik didn’t flirt with anybody as a general rule and he felt like he literally couldn’t help it sometimes with that infuriating man. In addition to a strong physical attraction to his fiance’s brother, he felt emotionally compromised as well: he saw how deeply Charles cared for his sister in a way that he sometimes thought Raven didn’t. And the look on Charles’ face when he said that nobody had ever cared enough to tell him he drank too much - that broke something in Erik, or maybe fixed something. He wasn’t exactly sure but it kind of hurt to think about, because Charles had made it very clear that he wouldn’t date Erik--not that Erik could really blame him. That would be a pretty awkward situation, considering Raven and the baby on the way.

It didn’t stop Erik from fantasizing a dozen different ways that it would work out though, if the world was a perfect place where everyone got exactly what they wanted. 

**

_(The night before the wedding)_

Raven and Lorna shared a hotel room the night before the wedding in Atlantic City. The original plan for the wedding hadn’t included Lorna, but she got really upset when she realized that. After Erik had a tough conversation with his ex-wife Magda, it was arranged that Lorna could go with them, although Erik had to agree that Magda could take Lorna to Europe for a month the next summer. 

Then, Lorna declared herself ‘scandalized’ that Erik and Raven had been planning to share a room that night - she said a husband and wife were not supposed to wake up together or see each other the day of the wedding before the ceremony because it was bad luck. Erik and Raven were amused and paying for an extra room didn’t seem like too much if it made Lorna happy. Also, it gave Lorna and Raven more time to bond together, a thought that made Erik very happy.

“So, um, Raven, I wanted to ask you something,” Lorna said hesitantly. She was standing behind Raven where Raven sat at the vanity. Lorna was doing a ‘trial run’ of hair and make-up for Raven that night. Raven hadn’t planned on doing anything special but it made Lorna happy and Raven didn’t mind having her hair played with. 

Raven had a mouth full of red vines, her favorite slumber party snack. She supposed she should be eating something healthy for the baby but she wasn’t craving healthy; she was craving red vines. “Shoot.”

“How do you know when it’s the right time to have sex?”

Raven stopped chewing and looked at Lorna in the mirror with big eyes. 

“I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask,” Raven finally said, awkwardly. 

“Oh, are you one of those people who wants to be a virgin until you get married?” Lorna deadpanned and Raven started to answer her seriously until she saw Lorna’s eyes slide to her 20-week pregnancy belly. One side of Lorna’s mouth curled up in an expression very similar to her father’s. 

“Very funny, you smartass,” Raven said, mock-glaring at Lorna. “I just meant...well. It’s hard to explain.”

“It’s hard to explain when the right time to have sex is, or it’s hard to explain why you’re not the right person to ask?”

“Well, I meant the second one, but really, both.” Raven turned around to look at Lorna as the teenager sat on the bed. “I don’t--like--sex. I have done it, _obviously,_ but I’m not sure I’ve ever done it for the right reasons.”

It was a hard thing to say, something Raven had thought but had never said to anyone before. She wasn’t at all sure that it was an appropriate thing to try and explain to Lorna, but she also didn’t want to lie to the girl. 

Loran was frowning and obviously trying to understand. “This isn’t just some ‘all sex is bad’ line, right?”

“No,” Raven said honestly. “I--okay, look. I think the only reason to have sex is because you really, really want to. There are plenty of reasons _not_ to have sex that can still outweigh wanting to, though, of course. But I don’t think anyone should have sex if they don’t really, really want to.” Raven reflected that by her own definition, she shouldn’t have ever had sex. The thought made her very uncomfortable.

“Well...how do I know if I really, really want to?” 

Raven puffed her cheeks out in consideration. “I think it’s one of those things where you just _know_ when the time is right. Like, If you have doubt, then it’s probably not the right time.” She grimaced and shut her eyes. “How am I doing?” She stage-whispered to Lorna.

Lorna laughed. “I think you’re doing pretty good.”

“Okay, whew. This ‘being a stepmom’ business is new to me.”

Lorna laughed again and regarded Raven fondly. “You’re more like a big sister. You’re not really old enough to be my mom, you know.”

Raven groaned. “Don’t remind me!”

“I’m gonna do your makeup now,” Lorna said abruptly. Raven nodded and closed her eyes as Lorna started applying foundation. 

“So you don’t like sex?” Lorna asked after a few minutes. 

“Not really,” Raven replied, honestly. She shifted a little uncomfortably, nervous about where the question was heading.

“Are you asexual?”

Raven opened her eyes in surprise. “What?”

“You know, not sexually attracted to men or women.” 

“I, uh, hmm.” Raven shut her mouth as Lorna blithely continued to do her make-up. She could think a few exceptions in her life, but in general...“That’s something to think about.”

“So do you and my dad--”

Raven cut her off. “No, Nope, sorry kiddo. I am not going to answer any questions that involve both your dad and sex. I have to draw the line somewhere!”

“Okay,” Lorna answered, slowly, after a moment. “I just want everything to be good between you guys. He wouldn’t ever say so, but I think my dad was really lonely before you moved in. I want--I want you both to be happy with each other.”

Raven was touched, and tears sprang to her eyes. “Hey, you’re going to make your mascara run,” Lorna, said laughing, although Raven could see a couple tears in the teenager’s eyes too. 

Spontaneously Raven pulled Lorna into a tight hug. “I’m a big ball of pregnancy hormones, give me a break!” 

Lorna giggled and hugged her tighter. 

**

Despite Raven’s suggestion that they do so, Erik and Charles did _not_ share a room at the hotel in Atlantic City the night before the wedding. Erik figured Charles was probably at the bar, so he stayed in his hotel room. For the first time in months was able to jerk off properly, the way he liked to, lying on his back, instead of hunched over his computer desk in his home office and trying to be quiet so he wouldn’t wake Raven. 

It hadn’t occurred to him as a factor when Raven had moved in because he only masturbated about once a month or so at that time. However, since meeting Charles, he was up to masturbating three or four times a week. Most of his fantasies began on a massage table and all of them starred a certain blue-eyed brunette lips that were just too red…

Erik was just getting into a good rhythm when he got a text. He checked his phone.

It was from Charles, and said simply, _what are you doing_

Erik groaned. It was horrible, tantalizing timing. _Nothing good,_ he texted back before he thought better of it.

Several minutes went by and Erik hated that a part of him was desperate to know what Charles’ response would be. 

_being naughty, then?_

“Inappropriate,” Erik gasped, using the dictation feature on his phone to send the word as a text. He jerked himself off faster, imagining Charles’ luscious lips and British accent saying those words to him. 

The next text came back faster than he expected. _what’s a pro prius?_

Siri, you are such a cock-block. “I meant inappropriate,” He enunciated carefully to his iPhone.

After a few moments, his phone pinged. _well. call me when you have a minute._

Erik finished himself off quickly, trying now _not_ to think about Charles. He knew if Charles wanted to have a conversation tonight or, god forbid, see him, it would be better for Erik to do it with clean pipes, so to speak. 

And so a few minutes later, feeling much more relaxed, Erik cleaned up and then texted Charles. _what do you want, Charles_.

_one last chance to talk you out of marrying my sister_

Erik snorted. Well, at least he was honest. _and why would I agree to that?_

_can we at least have this conversation in person? I’m in the room next to yours you know_

Erik’s eyes went wide with shock. No, he hadn’t known that, and he felt glad that he hadn’t known it five minutes earlier, too.

 _fine_ , he texted. He went to open his door, and Charles was already standing there. 

“Well, erm, hello,” Charles said, blushing as his eyes skittered over Erik, who was standing with his hands on his hips. Erik realized he was in a white tank-style undershirt and sweatpants and he was still a little flushed from his previous, ah, activity. Charles himself looked entirely put-together in nice jeans and a sweater. 

“What do you have to say to me?” Erik asked him bluntly. Charles’ blushing was far too distracting for Erik to remember his manners. 

Charles lifted his chin a little bit. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” 

Erik glared at him and then sighed. He swept his arm in an over-the-top gesture of invitation and then propped the door open as Charles slid past him. 

“Really?” Charles said in exasperation, looking at the propped open door. “You think so little of me.”

Not at all. In fact, Erik’s heart was pounding and he was ridiculously glad to see Charles in his room, even though it made no sense for him to feel that way and was in fact quite inconvenient. The propped-open door was as much to protect Charles’ virtue as Erik’s.

“I’m waiting for your marriage-devastating argument,” Erik said, remaining standing as Charles seated himself on one of the room’s two chairs. 

“I prefer to employ the Socratic method,” Charles said loftily. Erik felt a confusing spike of irritation and fondness, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

“Why are you _marrying_ Raven?” Charles asked, following a pregnant pause. “As opposed to just dating her or living with her.”

Erik decided to sit down after all. “She’s carrying my child,” he said calmly. 

“Yes, but in this day and age that doesn’t mean marriage is a foregone conclusion.”

Okay, time to bring out the big guns. “Raven didn’t want you showing up at her prenatal appointments, so she wanted to be on my health care plan.”

A flash of hurt crossed Charles face. “I wouldn’t do that!”

Erik raised his eyebrows at Charles. 

“Okay, in the past, I have had some...issues, with...boundaries,” Charles said haltingly. “But if that were honestly the reason, you two wouldn’t have waited even two months to get married. She’s still on my insurance right now, and she’s been to plenty of doctor’s appointments already.”

“And you know that--how?”

Charles’ face turned beet red. 

Erik sighed. “Exactly. Maybe the question should be--why don’t you want Raven to marry me?”

Charles hesitated, and stood up. “Coming here was a bad idea.”

“Well, you are not exactly known for your fantastic judgement,” Erik said with a soft smile that had a little too much affection in it. “Maybe that would get better if you didn’t drink so much.”

Charles frowned slightly. He didn’t deny that he’d had a few drinks that evening. “There you go again about the alcohol. Why does it matter to you if I drink or not?”

“Well, I...care...about you,” Erik said awkwardly, standing as well.

“You’re not--you--you’re not allowed to feel that way about me,” Charles stammered. 

“I’m not? I thought we were friends. Friends care about each other.”

“We’re friends?” Charles said slowly. “But I don’t--I mean, that’s not really such a good idea, is it?”

Erik laughed, not entirely pleasantly. “We don’t have much of a choice. Think about it. If you want to be a part of Raven’s life, you’re going to be a part of mine.”

Charles looked depressed at that. He started to brush past Erik and Erik caught his hand. Charles turned back slowly to look at Erik, emotions warring on his face. 

“Just think about drinking less?” Erik pleaded softly. “I’d kind of like to know who you are when you are sober.” Charles just looked at him, his lips slightly parted. “And I don’t want you to be drunk around your nephew all the time.”

Charles started to retort something and then stopped. His eyes got wide and soft. “Raven’s having a boy?”

Erik nodded, not able to keep the proud smile off his face as he remembered. “Yes. We did the ultrasound this morning.” Charles smiled back, lost in thought for a moment, then looked at the hand Erik was still holding. Erik hastily dropped it and Charles left the room without saying anything else.


	6. Wedding Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like to use the beginning Author's Note field much (I feel like it interferes with the story flow) but I wanted to thank everyone who has commented. I really appreciate the feedback! There are a few more twists and turns before our heroes find their "happy ending".

Wedding Day

Charles woke up a little later than he’d intended on New Year’s Eve in Atlantic City. The wedding was supposed to be at one o’clock, and Charles awoke a little after eleven.

Cursing, he swallowed three aspirin dry and jumped into the shower. He’d had more to drink last night than he intended. 

He didn’t want to think about that. 

As he was showering, he also regretted that he hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask Erik the question he really wanted the answer to the night before, instead of just rehashing the old why-are-you-marrying-Raven question: Would Erik _really_ have called things off with Raven just for a chance to date Charles?

Of course, the answer didn’t matter, because Charles was too good a brother to do that to Raven. But he still ached with wanting to know. 

Besides showering, shaving, and getting dressed, Charles found himself realizing that his one other priority for the morning was finding a tiny funnel so he could refill his flask. 

It’s not that he didn’t know that Erik had a point about his drinking. It’s just--today, of all days, he needed this. He would not be able to handle his sister marrying the man of his dreams without alcohol in his system. 

“It’ll be my New Year’s Resolution,” he said out loud to the room, then suddenly wondered if Erik could hear him from his room next door. 

He called down to the hotel desk and asked about a tiny funnel and nobody seemed to have one, know where to get one, or frankly, have any sympathy for him. So he ended up wasting a lot of alcohol from the minibar down the sides of his flask as he tried to fill it without a funnel, and he got it about two-thirds full before he realized it was nearly time for the ceremony. He dashed out of the room only to return a minute later for his sunglasses--it was _bright_ outside.

**

Charles arrived at the tiny church one minute after 1PM. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he gasped to Raven, as he entered and then shook his head and looked at her. Her hair was stylishly up and her make-up was impeccable. She was wearing an off-white dress that clung to her body, seemingly designed to accentuate her pregnancy belly. His jaw opened. 

“You hate it, don’t you?” Raven exclaimed. “I know, it’s completely ridiculous, but Lorna--”

“You look beautiful,” Charles finally gasped. “Honestly, Raven, you look amazing. I just wasn’t prepared for you to look so--gorgeous!”

Her face melted a little as she looked at him. “Aw, Charles!” 

He hugged her carefully so as not to mess up her dress or makeup. “Let me introduce you to my stylist,” she said, giggling. “Charles, this is Erik’s daughter, Lorna. Lorna, this is my brother, Charles.”

“Oh! It’s nice to meet you, Lorna. You are--older than I thought you would be,” Charles said in surprise. 

“Yeah, my dad was kind of a slut when he was a kid,” Lorna said nonchalantly. Charles’ eyes widened as Raven cackled and high-fived Lorna. 

“I’m teaching her to be as inappropriate as possible,” Raven confided to Charles. 

“And I’m teaching Raven about wedding etiquette,” Lorna added, smugly. “Like, for instance--Emma shouldn’t be wearing a whiter dress than you, Raven! It’s positively _scandalous._ ”

Charles suddenly got an unpleasant feeling in his stomach and he wondered if he should have had more for breakfast than aspirin and whiskey. “Sorry, who?”

“Emma Frost, you know, my boss,” Raven said, checking her makeup in the mirror. She straightened. “She loves to wear white, and she showed up today wearing a dress than is whiter than mine. I think it’s hilarious, but Lorna doesn’t agree.”

“The pictures will be ruined,” Lorna said mournfully.

Charles felt like he might be sick. “I thought this was just--two witnesses--Emma--your boss--why is Emma here?”

“Didn’t I tell you? She’s the other witness. Lorna can’t very well do it because she’s not an adult.” Raven must have heard something in his voice, because she turned to him with a slight frown. “Emma is Erik’s best friend, and we met because of her. Of course we asked her to be the other witness. Are you okay?”

Charles pulled out his flask, not caring that Raven and Erik’s fourteen-year-old daughter were right in front of him. He took a sip and tried to breathe normally. 

“I just can’t believe she’s wearing white,” he finally managed. 

“Right?” said Lorna in vindication, just as Raven rolled her eyes and said, “Charles, you are _so_ gay.”

**

The ceremony began a little late. Charles had managed to avoid being introduced to Emma until it was time to walk Raven down the aisle. He had his sunglasses on when they started walking, but Raven snatched them off his face before he could stop her. 

He actually contemplated running screaming from the church. However, Erik’s words about consequences were too firmly in his mind. And then he forgot everything because even though Emma was up there at the front of the church Erik was standing there, too, looking fucking delicious in a charcoal tuxedo. Erik was watching him walk towards him--well, probably he was watching Raven but it really looked like he was watching Charles. Charles had no choice but to walk towards the man he couldn’t stop fantasizing about with his sister on his arm. He wasn’t sure how much more his nerves could take. 

Charles tried to breathe normally and not look at anyone as he handed Raven’s arm to Erik. He snuck a quick drink out of his flask right after he did so, pointedly ignoring Erik’s narrow-eyed look at the action.

“You look beautiful,” Erik said to Raven with a smile. The words were meant for her alone to hear and Charles wished he hadn’t heard. 

“Lorna did everything,” Charles heard Raven reply. 

Charles’ felt Emma’s eyes on him, curious. He gave her a small, brief smile with barely any eye contact, as if they had never met before, his heart pounding. 

The ceremony began.

Right about the time that Raven asserted to the officiant that they were ‘skipping the whole ring thing,’ Emma started laughing. She was looking at Charles and laughing her ass off. She was laughing so hard that the officiant stopped the ceremony and she and the four other people in the room just looked at Emma as she incoherently pointed at Charles and kept laughing, tears running down her face. 

Charles was beet red. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. This was his worst nightmare coming true: Emma recognized him as the ‘pervert’ who had ‘assaulted’ Erik at Frost massage, now almost a year before. And it had happened right in front of Raven.

Erik was as confused as everyone else for a moment, frowning at Emma until his eyes flicked to Charles and widened when he realized. A dark red flush quickly blossomed on his features. 

“Emma, are you okay?” Raven finally said. She glanced at Erik for help but he was red and looking away from everything. She frowned deeper. “What’s going on?”

“I just realized how I know your brother, that’s all,” Emma finally said, recovering, as Charles strongly reconsidered his running-out-of-the-church-screaming plan. “It’s a funny story. I’ll tell you sometime.” She took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry to interrupt. Please, do continue getting married.” She was still smirking as if she still found the situation highly amusing. 

Erik’s lips were pressed in a tight line as he looked at Emma. He forced a smile, though, when Raven looked at him. “Well okay then,” she said. “Let’s get hitched!”

Lorna was frowning sternly at Emma, which for some reason made Charles feel a tiny bit better. Also, though he knew the other shoe would drop sometime soon, at least he wasn’t going to be publicly humiliated at his sister’s wedding.

The rest of the ceremony proceeded without incident. When the officiant said, “You may kiss the bride,” Charles couldn’t bear to watch so he looked away. 

Erik smiled at Raven and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled brilliantly up at him. 

Emma and Lorna exchanged significant glances. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” The officiant said. 

**

_(Two weeks later)_

Charles arrived at Erik and Raven’s apartment, nervous. It would be the first time he’d seen them since the wedding. He had been invited over for dinner and games. 

Raven opened the door. “Charles!” She gave him a big hug. “It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

“Well, it’s only been two weeks, but you look even more pregnant,” Charles commented. 

She slapped his arm. “Rude!” The grin on her face belied the words though. 

“That’s because I’ve been feeding her lots of fattening foods,” Erik called from the kitchen. “Better for the baby than red vines.” He came out, wiping his hands on an _apron_ of all things. He had a genuine smile on his face when he looked at Charles. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too.” _Way too good._ After a brief hesitation, Charles pulled Erik in for a quick hug. Raven beamed. 

“You remember my daughter, Lorna,” Erik indicated the teenager standing at the kitchen counter.

“Hi Charles,” Lorna said with a shy smile. “Oh, um, do you want something to drink?” 

Erik and Raven shot each other a glance and Charles thought, _oh my god. They’ve talked about my drinking._ It made him feel uncomfortably left-out. “Just a coke, if you have it,” he said to Lorna. He hadn’t had an alcoholic beverage since the day of the wedding. Not that he was going to brag about it. 

“Lorna wants to play Monopoly after dinner,” Raven said. 

“Oh, that’s fine, if she likes losing,” Charles said casually. 

Lorna’s jaw dropped. “Oh you are going _down_!”

**

Dinner was a fairly simple meal--ravioli, marinara sauce, and garlic bread--but both Raven and Charles moaned over it like it was a feast. “You’re spoiling Raven with all this healthy food,” Charles complained jokingly. Erik just smiled wide. 

“So, ah, I’m guessing Emma never told you the story of how we met,” Charles said to Raven tentatively. Erik gave him a wide-eyed look. Charles felt sure that he would have had a screaming phone call from Raven if she had, so he felt pretty confident in asking. It was also killing him to not _know_.

Raven laughed. “No, I told her I wanted her to tell me when you are there; it will be so much more embarrassing that way.” Her eyes twinkled with anticipation.

“Excellent,” Charles said with a smile. “I’ll just avoid her forever, then.”

Raven laughed. Like he was kidding. 

Charles was surprised at how comfortable it all was. He felt like he should have been angry or jealous or _something_ but it was impossible to feel that way when he was so glad just to see both of them. And more astonishing yet that he could feel that way without the benefit of any alcohol. It stung a little that they seemed so happy together, but not as much as he’d thought it would. The game of monopoly went well until both Lorna and Raven started yawning. Erik declared Lorna the winner and suggested it was bedtime. 

“Oh, that’s my cue,” Charles said, standing. 

“Oh, I thought--” Erik hesitated. “I didn’t mean that you should go yet, I mean, unless you want to. Raven told me you played chess; I thought you might be interested in a game?”

Charles hesitated. “Oh! Yes, alright. If I’m not imposing.”

“Not at all. I’ll get the chessboard out of my office closet.”

“I don’t often get a chance to play,” Erik said as he set the board up. “I taught Lorna how years ago, but it didn’t take.”

“Same with Raven,” Charles said, although no doubt Raven told him that.

They were a few moves in when Erik said, “So, you’re not drinking.”

“Ah. No. Decided it would be my New Year’s Resolution.”

He glanced up at Erik when there was no response and Erik looked so tender, so completely open and vulnerable that Charles felt embarrassed and he quickly glanced away. 

Finally Erik cleared his throat and spoke. “I’m glad to hear that. Are you going to any meetings, or…?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Charles said, feeling like he both did and did not want to talk about this with Erik at the same time. “I just--stopped. The first few days were the hardest, I had some shakes…” He drifted off and shook his head. “I never really tried to stop before, you know. Never had a reason to.”

Erik didn’t reply and a few more moves passed in silence. “Well, I’m glad you have a reason to now, whatever that might be.”

Charles hummed with a soft smile and didn’t look up for a while. They played the rest of the game in companionable silence. 

**

_(The next day, a Monday)_

“Erik, Erik, Erik,” Emma said as she sat down for their lunch date. “You are playing a dangerous game.” She perused the menu. “I’m guessing from Raven’s reaction at the wedding--or rather, her lack of reaction--that she doesn’t know how you met her darling brother?”

“She doesn’t.” Erik scratched his cheek with his hand. “Charles is completely mortified by the whole event. It was a huge misunderstanding, Emma.” 

“Uh-huh,” Emma said noncommittally. “He used very poor judgement.”

“That he did,” Erik agreed. “But we’ve become friends, and I promise you, he is a good person. He cares about Raven a lot. He’s dealing with some--big problems right now, and I think…” Erik trailed off because Emma was staring at him. 

“You _like_ him,” she accused in a whisper, her blues eyes narrowed. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Erik said, quickly picking up his menu. “He’s my brother-in-law. We’re friends.”

“Is he gay?”

Erik pressed his lips together. “Not that it matters, but I believe so, yes.” Erik desperately wanted to change the subject. “How are your legal problems going?” 

“Hmm?” She looked him over her menu, one eyebrow arched. “Oh, I think I’ve got them just about settled.”

Emma studied him as he studied his menu and deliberately avoided looking back at her. “Well,” she finally said, “I’m going to drop the subject of Charles Xavier because I don’t want to put you in a position to lie to me any more than you already have.”

Erik’s head sunk a little lower into his menu. Sometimes it seemed that Emma could read his mind. He _had_ just lied to Emma, if only by omission, but what other choice did he have?

**  
 _(Three weeks later - mid-February, 2015, a Wednesday)_

Sunday game night had become a weekly event at Raven’s urging. It had become a pattern: Erik would cook dinner, then the four of them would play games and when Lorna and Raven went to sleep, Erik and Charles would play a game or two of chess. 

Erik was as happy as he could ever remember having been, although obviously his life was far from perfect. The one fly in his ointment was something he realized he needed to bring up with Raven sooner rather than later. He’d put it off for too long.

“I’m thinking about buying you your own bed,” he said carefully to Raven one morning while they were having breakfast. 

“Oh? Are you sick of my tossing and turning?” She smiled at him. “I’m sorry, it’s just impossible to get comfortable like this.” She gestured to her gravid belly. Despite the lightness of her words, there was a little tension in her voice. 

“Well, that’s a part of it.” He hesitated. “It’s a little awkward to talk about.”

Raven swallowed, looking at him. “You want to have sex.”

Erik looked away, not sure how to answer that in a way that wouldn’t make Raven feel bad, or worse: angry. “Raven, when we started--this--living together, when we talked about it...I had thought that our relationship might develop over time into one that was more physical, more...sexual.”

Raven just looked at him, her eyes big. She looked terrified.

He reached for her hand and realized that was a mistake when she pulled back. “I know you don’t want to have sex,” he said. He tried to make his voice as soothing as possible. 

“But you do,” she whispered. 

“No, I--it’s not what you think. Raven--” he exhaled. He’d known this would be a hard conversation and it was harder than he thought it would be. “I don’t want to have sex with you, either.”

Her brow furrowed slightly. “Okay,” she said, confused.

“But I do--have--well, not _needs_ exactly, that’s a total cliché, but I do want--”

“Do you want to have sex with other people?” Raven said suddenly, brightly, like the idea was a life preserver. 

“Ah…” Erik was speechless for a moment. “Um. Can we come back to that?”

The crinkled brow reappeared. “Okay…”

“I was thinking that when the baby comes, you might want to sleep with him anyway, or I would, and on some of those nights Lorna might be here…” She was still frowning at him slightly, not understanding. 

He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I just want to be able to jerk off in my own bed,” he said finally. “I’d like to start sleeping alone again, or at least as much as possible until the baby arrives.”

Understanding dawned on her finally. “Oh.” The frown returned briefly. “Well why didn’t you just say that to begin with?”

“I really don’t know,” Erik admitted. “It sounds, I don’t know, dumb. Like my wanting to do something so stupid and inconsequential is justification for kicking you out of my bed.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid or inconsequential. At least not based on how much some people will pay for that. I used to make pretty good money,” Raven said lightly. Erik held his breath because she didn’t ever talk about that. 

Raven had a bite of toast and considered carefully before speaking again. “It’s fine, Erik. I’m honestly just glad you don’t want me to have sex with you even if I don’t want to,” Raven said finally. 

“Raven, I would never,” he said seriously.

“I love you, you know,” Raven said. “If there was anyone I would want to have sex with, it would be you.” She looked down. “Not that that means much, I’m sure.”

“Raven...I love you too.” They had never said these words to one another, but Erik knew it was true for him. “And please, please understand--I wasn’t saying that I don’t want to have sex with you just to make you feel comfortable. I honestly don’t want to. That first time was--well.” He smiled ruefully. “I’ve always been a little straighter when I’m on drugs.”

“So are you gay?” Raven said, her eyes on him curious, not judgemental. 

“Ah...well. Maybe. Emma thinks I am. Or maybe she’s just jealous that I could get it up with you and not her.” He winked at Raven. 

Raven’s mouth made an O shape. “You and Emma? Seriously?”

“In college, god, years ago. We tried, but, my uh, body, wouldn’t cooperate.” Erik widened his eyes, as if realizing what he’d just said. “Please don’t, um, tell her I told you?”

Raven shook her head grinning. “Wow, so I’m hotter than Emma? That’s good to know.” 

Erik smiled weakly. “So do you want to go bed shopping this weekend?”

She smiled. “Sure.” 

Erik finally started in on his breakfast and had eaten about half of it when Raven said, somewhat hesitantly, “It’s okay with me if you want to sleep with other people.”

Erik paused in his chewing momentarily. Then he resumed and swallowed. “Ah--ok. That’s, um, good to know.”

“I just don’t want you to get any diseases or leave me for anyone,” she added after a moment. She looked at him. “That’s reasonable, right?” 

Before he could respond, she added, “Oh, and I don’t want Charles to know. About any of this, really. He will--well, if he thinks we are anything other than a textbook-normal couple he’s going to drive me crazy about it.”

That was undeniably true, and yet--he was the one person who Erik had any interest in sleeping with. Erik wondered if it was possible to die from frustration.

**

Lorna noticed the new bed right away, of course, seeing as how she slept at Erik’s apartment three or fours nights a week. 

“You got a new spare bed?” She asked. Raven and Erik looked at each other. They hadn’t really discussed what they would tell Lorna about it. 

“Well, uh, do you remember what I told you in Atlantic City?” Raven finally said. Lorna’s brow furrowed and she nodded. “So, ah, anyway, your dad and I are going to sleep in different rooms now. But I’m not going anywhere,” she added hastily, when Lorna started to look a little panicked. 

“Okay,” Lorna said uncertainly. 

The new bed was a double bed, so there was still room for Erik’s office furniture, although he realized that soon he would have to move that somewhere else to make way for the baby furniture. 

After Lorna had gone to bed, Erik knocked on Raven’s door. 

“Oh--you knocked,” She said, seeming surprised. 

“Of course I’m going to knock,” Erik said with a frown. “I hope you would knock on my door--you don’t want to catch me--well.”

A blush creeped up Raven’s face as she nodded. 

Erik sat on the edge of her bed. “What did you mean when you said ‘remember what I told you in Atlantic City’ to Lorna?”

“Oh. Right. Well, the night before our wedding she had some questions about sex, and I did my best to answer them.”

Erik frowned. “What kind of questions?”

“Um. Well…” Raven trailed off and looked at Erik uncertainly. “It doesn’t really feel right to tell you.”

Erik pressed his lips together. “We are talking about _my_ daughter, a girl who is _fourteen years old_. I think I should know if she’s asking questions about sex.”

Raven looked at him defiantly. “Hey. I didn’t say anything--bad. I mean, I really don’t think she’s having sex.”

“You don’t _think_?” Erik said, his voice rising in volume despite himself. “Raven, if my daughter is asking you about sex, I want to know about it. I don’t want her getting information about sex from _you_.”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” Raven said, her voice coming up in volume as well. “She apparently felt comfortable asking me, what was I supposed to do?”

Aware the Lorna was sleeping in a nearby room, Erik deliberately dropped the volume of his voice but not the intensity. “I don’t want to her to get a skewed perspective,” he said through clenched teeth. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Raven said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know if that’s some crack about me being a whore or being asexual, but either way, you are out of line.”

“Can’t it be both?” Erik said nastily. 

Raven stared at him with her jaw slightly dropped, as her cheeks flushed with anger. “Get the fuck out of my sight,” she hissed. 

**

Erik left the apartment. He was mad that Raven hadn’t told him that Lorna had asked her about sex, true. But his a lot of his anger with Raven stemmed from frustration about the whole situation which had been stewing for a long time. 

He wanted a friend. He wanted someone to vent to. He called Charles. 

“Erik? Is everything alright?” Charles sounded genuinely concerned.

Erik half-laughed. “That’s the first thing you ask when I call?”

“Well, it’s after 9pm on a weeknight. Is Raven okay?”

“Oh.” Erik hadn’t been thinking about the time. “Raven’s fine. I’m sorry I called so late.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m awake, I just--” Charles exhaled into the phone, with a little mirth. “Anyway. What’s up?”

“I just, um. Thought maybe you wanted to get a beer with me?”

Charles was silent for quite a while before Erik realized his mistake. “Oh! _Shit._ No, I--dammit, I’m sorry. That was really a dumb thing to say.”

“It’s fine,” Charles said lightly, with a smile in his voice. “I’m guessing you must be pretty upset about something.”

Erik grunted. “Yeah. Maybe. I just wanted someone to vent to. I’m really sorry to bug you--”

“No, that’s--it’s fine. Yes. I will go out and you can have a beer, and vent, and I will have something else to drink.”

Erik felt really guilty but he also really wanted to see Charles. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s fine, honestly. Anyway I didn’t get my weekly dose of Erik, so.” He said it jokingly but Erik could detect the warmth in his words. For game night that week, Raven had invited Emma, and suspiciously Charles had come down with a terrible flu at the last minute. 

“Okay then. The usual place. See you there.”

**

Charles got to the bar first, and he looked relieved when Erik arrived. “Glad to see you! Have you ever noticed how poorly one is treated by cocktail waitresses when one doesn’t order a drink?”

Erik chuckled. “And they are magically less cute when one is not drinking.”

“You know, I noticed that too,” Charles said thoughtfully. “Let’s get you a beer and then you can tell me all about your troubles, friend.”

“Raven and I had a fight,” Erik said, once he had gotten his beer. Charles raised an eyebrow at him. 

“And you called her brother?”

Erik decided to ignore that. “Apparently she answered some questions my daughter had about sex, and then when I asked her what the questions were, she wouldn’t tell me.” 

Charles sucked in his breath. “Ah.” He studied Erik for a moment. “It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who has an overprotective streak.”

“Overprotective?” Erik looked at Charles. “Charles, she’s fourteen. If you had a fourteen-year-old daughter who had questions about sex, wouldn’t you be worried?”

“I imagine they all do,” He said calmly. “I remember being keenly curious myself, at that age.”

“Well, I’m her father, she should ask me,” Erik growled. He sensed he was losing the battle.

“Maybe her question was about anatomy? You don’t have a vagina, Erik.”

Erik chuckled. “And you know that how?” 

Charles didn’t respond and Erik turned to look at him. Charles licked his lips, almost deliberately, and turned away. 

“You’re flirting with me!” Erik said accusingly. 

Charles gasped theatrically. “I am doing no such thing! I am being an excellent friend and rebutting every point you are making.” 

“Is that what friends do?” Erik asked, amused.

“Yes, and friends make sure that your second beer quickly follows your first, too.” Charles was in his element, not as regards drinking, but in verbally sparring and trading wits. His eyes were sparkling. 

“So what’s new with you?” Erik said, after his second beer arrived. He was drinking a double IPA that night and they had a much higher alcohol content than he was used to. He was feeling warm and unbuttoned the top few buttons on his shirt. 

“Me? Nothing. Same old. Well...actually, work is the same as ever, but I’ve had to take up some new hobbies to keep my mind off...well.” Charles nodded in the direction of Erik’s beer. 

“New hobbies? Like what?”

“Umm…” Charles bit his lip. Erik tried not to stare but it was a losing battle. “I don’t want to tell you.”

Erik nudged Charles with his foot under the table. “Come on...whatever it is, it can’t be the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done, and I was there for that.”

“How dare you,” Charles said in mock offense as Erik grinned with too many teeth. 

“Ballroom dancing,” Charles finally said, as part of a big sigh. He peeked over at Erik to see his response. 

Erik chuckled, imagining Charles waltzing. “Aw, that’s not so bad,” He said. “If you don’t mind dancing with women.”

Charles stretched his arms straight up which for some reason looked incredibly tantalizing to Erik. “Well, I don’t mind, but I’ve actually been taking a ballroom dance class specifically aimed at gay men.”

Erik sat up a little straighter. Suddenly he wasn’t in quite as good a mood. “Oh? Well, that’s interesting.”

“I’ve been thinking,” Charles said slowly, “about asking someone in my class out on a date.” He shot a glance at Erik, who was pounding the rest of his second beer. 

“Yeah, you should do that,” Erik said, gesturing to the bartender for another beer. He didn’t look at Charles.

“Erik…”

“No, Charles, I mean it, you should. I mean, look at you. You’re young and you’re gorgeous and you’re a fucking catch. It would be a crying shame for all that--” he waved his hand in Charles’ general direction “--to go to waste.” He finally looked at Charles, who was looking at Erik with a mixed expression. “You totally should. Hell, maybe I should too,” he added, taking a large gulp of his third beer. 

Charles frowned. “What did you say?”

“Hmm?” Erik looked at Charles, not sure what they’d been talking about. “Oh. Right. Yes, you are definitely a catch,” he said. “Not that anyone here would doubt that,” he added quickly, taking another sip of beer. “Anyone?” he called loudly. 

Charles seemed torn between amusement and trepidation. “Erik, I think it’s time for you to go home.” 

Erik frowned. “But you’re here.”

“Did you walk here?” Charles was being blurry. Why was he being blurry?

Erik nodded. “It’s not far. You know, this reminds me of that night--” he abruptly cut himself off when he realized he was about to say ‘that I hooked up with Raven’. It was just as well, because he almost fell when getting off his barstool. Charles grabbed his arm to stabilize him. 

Erik was lost in his thoughts. “I only got it up because she gave me coke,” he announced. Three strangers to turned to stare at him. 

And then Charles was there, under his arm, helping him walk out of the bar. Charles was so nice to him. “You smell good,” he told Charles. Charles said something in response but it was so loud in the bar that Erik couldn’t hear it. 

Then they were outside, in the very cold evening air, away from the bar and the people. “Do you remember that massage you gave me?” Erik asked, reminiscing. 

“Erik, please.” Charles sounded very strained. Erik stopped abruptly and both men almost fell over. 

“Am I hurting you?” He demanded. 

“Not in the way you--no. No, Erik, I’m fine. You’re just saying some things that are a little--hard to hear.” Erik put his arm back around Charles’ shoulders--it felt like it belonged there, now, and it was warmer anyway. Also, he was having trouble walking without it. 

“I’m sorry.” Erik tried to keep quiet after that but he had only made it a half a block before he blurted out, “But I just like you so much, and it’s just not fair.”

“I know,” Charles agreed, and this time he sounded sad. 

Erik managed not to confess any more embarrassing truths until they got to his building and into the elevator. He felt marginally more sober at that point. 

“There’s so much I wish I could tell you,” Erik whispered, looking at Charles, his eyes wide and honest.

Charles smiled at him and swallowed. “Are you sure I don’t already know what you would say?”

“No,” Erik said sadly. “You don’t.” He kept looking at Charles who was less blurry now, but so beautiful that it almost hurt his eyes.

“I wish the elevator would get stuck,” Erik said suddenly. “I wish I had a superpower and I could make it stop just so I could have more time with you.” He closed his eyes, wanting to reach for Charles and not letting himself. “Wish I could have so much time with you,” he mumbled. 

And then Charles’ face was pressed into his chest and the man was clutching his shoulders somewhat painfully. “Don’t,” Charles begged, his voice muffled by Erik’s shirt. 

“I would want…” he trailed off. When it came to Charles, he wanted so much, it was hard to articulate. 

Charles lifted his face off Erik’s chest and Erik saw to his surprise and great sadness that the shorter man’s face was streaked with tears. “Oh, no, don’t cry,” he whispered, feeling tears spring up in his own eyes, “I never want to make you cry, Charles please…” he leaned forward, hesitantly, wanting, knowing it was wrong to want, just a taste of that red mouth. He kissed Charles, so gently, and it was so fragile and delicious that he had to do it again. Charles’ lips were so sweet--

The elevator door slid open and Erik gazed at the doors in utter shock. “I thought I stopped that,” he mumbled and then Charles was under his arm again, pulling him down the hall. 

“Where’s your keys?” Charles demanded. He seemed angry now. 

“I don’t--wait, are you mad at me?”

“I’m not--” Charles exhaled heavily and wiped his hands across his eyes in frustration. “Sit here.” 

Confused, Erik sat down on the floor. He was sitting in front of his own front door. 

“Why--” He looked up at Charles and frowned. “Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” Charles said with a sigh, “I’m leaving.” He hesitated, then leaned down and kissed Erik on the cheek. “I hope for both our sakes that you don’t remember this tomorrow, my friend.” Erik reached out to try and stop him from going but Charles avoided Erik’s hand. He rang the doorbell and left, walking quickly back down the hall towards the elevator.

Lorna answered the door a minute later. She made a face at the smell of beer on Erik and helped him get up and walk to his bedroom. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” he said to his daughter, as he leaned on her. 

She sighed. “It’s okay, daddy.”

He fell onto his bed gratefully, and then something occurred to him. “Honey? You’re not having sex, are you?”

She paused in his bedroom doorway and he could only see her in silhouette. He heard her sigh. “No, daddy, I’m not. But honestly, I wouldn’t tell you if I was.”

Erik’s last thought before he passed out was that he probably should have learned some kind of lesson that day, but he couldn’t for the life of him think what that might be.


	7. The Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much grateful thanks to the FANTASTIC [Sophia_Bee](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Bee/pseuds/Sophia_Bee) for doing a super-fast beta/re-write of this chapter and making the hospital experience sound at least halfway realistic.

_(The next day)_

Erik woke up with a headache. It felt early but it was light outside, so he figured it was morning. He tried to reconstruct his evening from the night before and remembered arguing with Raven, then calling Charles and meeting him at the bar. Things got a little blurry after that, but he thought he remembered walking with his arm around Charles’ shoulder. He frowned and remembered that his head hurt. 

He also remembered the things he’d said to Raven and realized he needed to make it right as soon as possible. He dragged himself to the door of Raven’s new room and knocked. 

“Come in,” she said. 

He stepped inside and sat on her bed almost immediately, with one hand against his forehead. “Ouch. Hey. I need to apologize to you.”

“Oh, I--” Raven clearly had not been expecting to see him. She struggled to sit up. “I thought you were Lorna.”

“No, I’m me.” Erik felt a sudden wave of nausea. “Oh. Ugh.”

Raven stared. “Erik, are you drunk?”

“No, that was last night,” Erik said. “Raven--I’m sorry, about what I said, about you. And sex. Last night. I was very unfair.” He felt another wave of nausea. “Oh, god. I have to lie down. I’m sorry.” He lay facedown next to Raven.

Raven looked both annoyed and amused. “Erik, did you go out and get drunk last night?”

“Yes,” He mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

She snorted. “Just like home.”

Erik didn’t know what to say to that. He couldn’t tell if Raven was still mad at him or not when she nudged him. “Hey. Roll over.”

With some difficulty, Erik rolled onto his back and was surprised when Raven lifted his arm and put it across her shoulder. It also made him flash back to the feeling of having his arm around Charles’ shoulder the night before. Raven rested her head on his shoulder gently. She had to lie at a 45-degree angle to accommodate her belly, but her weight against him was surprisingly nice. 

Erik closed his eyes and leaned his head against hers. “I thought you weren’t a cuddler,” he murmured. 

“I thought you weren’t gay,” she retorted, but there was a smile in her voice. “Were you out with a guy?” she asked after a moment.

Erik tried not to react physically to her question, but he couldn’t help the tremor that went through him as he said, “Charles.” He hope she would attribute it to his hangover. Hell, it probably _was_ because of his hangover.

“Oh, okay.” She relaxed. “Sorry about your headache. There’s some water there on the nightstand, if you can reach it.” Erik was able to and drank some gratefully. 

“So Charles is drinking again?” She said, sounding a little sad, but not surprised. 

“No,” said Erik. “He just...let me make a fool of myself.” Erik actually couldn’t remember too much of the evening after he said something about needing coke to get it up at the bar, but he definitely remembered thinking that Charles was the most beautiful and sexy thing he had ever seen even before he’d been drunk. 

“Well!” Raven giggled against Erik’s chest. “That’s some role reversal.”

_You have no idea,_ Erik thought to himself. Out loud, he said, “I’m sure I owe him an apology too.” 

They continued to lay there, Raven sort of half on her side with her belly resting on Erik. His eyes suddenly flew wide as he felt something move. He gasped. “Was that...?”

Raven grinned. “Yeah, the baby just kicked.”

Lorna appeared in the doorway just then, and looked completely confused to see Erik and Raven lying there together. “Oh! Hi, I, um, hope I’m not interrupting any--”

“Lorna, come here,” Raven demanded.

“Uh, okay. How--?”

“Behind me,” Raven said impatiently. “Don’t you want to feel the baby kick?” 

“Oh! Yes!” She climbed behind Raven on the bed and put her hand on Raven’s stomach. Raven moved it to the spot. “Shh, just wait.”

Lorna’s eyes went wide as she felt the movement, her gaze locked with her father’s. He grinned to see the wonder-filled expression on her face. Erik felt a swell of love for his little, odd, family accompanied by a pang of grief for the glaring omission.

Then he realized that pang may have been more than just grief. A stronger wave of nausea came over him and he needed to get to a bathroom _stat_. 

Erik felt slightly better after he vomited. “Did you even eat dinner last night?” Raven asked him sternly.

“I don’t think so,” he answered, standing in the doorway to Raven’s room. Lorna had left to go start breakfast, but Raven was still lounging in bed. 

“Raven,” Erik said slowly. “I’ve been wondering something.” She looked at him expectantly. “The first time we--well, the only time--did it--did you really want to?”

Raven seemed to think about his question seriously before answering. “Well, yes, I did--want to...I mean obviously you didn’t force me--but not because I was attracted to you,” she said slowly. “I...oh geez, Erik, this could be a long conversation.” She looked up at him. “Would I sound like a horrible person if I told you I did it to feel good about myself?”

Erik shook his head. “No, I can understand that, kind of. And I’d be happy to have that long conversation sometime when Lorna’s not around. If you want.”

“Erik Lehnsherr,” Raven said seriously, “I think you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Erik tried to smile, but for a moment it seemed like his face had forgotten how. 

**

Neither Erik nor Raven saw Charles for three weeks, as he begged out of the next three game nights for various reasons. But the fourth Sunday he showed up early, his face flushed, clutching a packet of papers. He hid them as soon as Raven saw him. 

“What’s wrong?” Raven said immediately. 

“Oh. Um, typical academic bullshit,” he replied tersely. Raven noticed he was looking towards the kitchen and Erik, trying to catch Erik’s eye, but Erik was very taken with preparing dinner and wasn’t noticing. Finally Charles walked into the living room, muttering. 

Raven walked into the kitchen. “Erik,” she said in a low voice, “I think Charles wants to talk to you.”

“What? Why?” Erik was distracted, trying to get something out of the oven. 

“He has some work thing he’s all stressed about--he doesn’t seem to want to talk to me though. Probably thinks being pregnant I can’t handle the stress,” she snorted in amusement. “Really, though, I’ve never been good at listening to him drone on about the all political maneuvering at the college. Can you talk to him?”

“Uhh…” Erik looked at the stove. “But, dinner.” 

“I can keep an eye on things while you two talk,” she said. “Anyway, Lorna will be here soon.”

Erik somewhat reluctantly indicated for Charles to join him on the balcony. It was a little chilly out there, but more private. 

“Long time, no see,” he greeted Charles coolly. “We’ve missed you.” 

“Oh, ‘we’ve missed you,’ god, you are such a couple,” Charles said, rolling his eyes. Erik was unpleasantly startled by the words and the tone. He looked at Charles’ flushed face and did the math. “You’re drinking again,” he said quietly.

“Well, you made it look like so much fun,” Charles said sarcastically. “But anyway, that’s not why I--”

“Look, did I do something?” Erik interrupted. “I’ve left you several messages since that night and honestly it kind of hurts that you haven’t called me back.”

Charles rubbed a hand over his face. “Oh, god. You really don’t--? Fine.” He lowered his voice. “You kissed me, Erik.”

Erik gasped, genuinely shocked. “No! I did?”

“And more,” Charles muttered, glancing through the sliding glass door to the living room to see if anyone was coming to get them. “But that was the--worst of it.”

He inhaled deeply and looked at Erik with artificially bright eyes. “But, I’ve put it behind me, and so should you. What I’m upset about today is the fact that your best friend, Emma Frost, is suing me.”

Erik’s jaw dropped. “No,” he said in disbelief. 

“For trespassing, fraudulent misrepresentation, attempted sexual assault, and that’s just the first few charges.” Charles started pacing. “I haven’t read all the way through it yet because I was so livid. Un-fucking-believable.”

Erik looked through the documents. “She’s not pressing criminal charges,” he said thoughtfully. “It might be expensive, but you won’t go to jail.”

“But, Erik, how am I going to fight this without the details coming out? If Raven--” he squeezed his eyes shut. “Raven can’t find out.”

Erik tipped his head thoughtfully. “You could just tell Raven, you know.”

“Is that a joke? No. Absolutely not. I’d like to meet my nephew someday.”

“Okay.” Charles was probably right; Erik couldn’t imagine Raven reacting well to the news that Charles had given him a sensual massage the day they’d met and had almost jerked him off. Although it might not be as bad as Charles was thinking it was, given what he didn’t know about the nature of Erik’s relationship with Raven.

“You should have your lawyer look at these,” Erik mused, flipping through the pages. He was no legal professional, but it seemed to him like the paperwork was designed to be as difficult to navigate as possible. He looked up at Charles. “You do have a lawyer, right?”

“Yes, of course, but I really want as few people as possible to know,” Charles said anxiously. “Emma’s your friend; can’t you talk her out of this?”

Erik had to laugh at that. “If you knew Emma, you would know the answer to that,” he replied.

Charles heaved sigh and leaned against the building. “I’m fucked, aren’t I?”

Erik looked at him with sympathy. “I have an inappropriate response for that,” Erik offered. 

Charles looked at him and then rolled his eyes upward, shaking his head with a tiny smile. “You, my friend, are constantly inappropriate.” He grabbed the papers out of Erik’s hand. “Don’t ever change.” 

**

_(Thursday evening, that week)_

Charles reluctantly took Erik’s advice and met with his attorney. He waited anxiously while Armando read through the documents. When he was done, the lawyer sat back thoughtfully. 

“Well, there’s a big piece missing here,” he said thoughtfully. “As in, the details of what you actually did, or what they are accusing you of.” He looked at Charles questioningly.

Charles didn’t want to volunteer _that_ information unless he absolutely had to. “Well. That’s a problem, right? How can she claim to be suing me for all these things without saying what I did?”

Armando looked down at the documents. “‘Pending depositions.’ Looks like they will be sending a subpoena to Erik Lehnsherr.”

Oh. Well, Charles thought he could circumvent that. “Well, that’s not a problem. He won’t testify.”

Armando gave him a sympathetic and slightly patronizing look. “He has to. That’s how subpoenas work. If he doesn’t comply, he can be charged with contempt of court.”

Charles felt a little faint.

“Raven Lehnsherr is also listed as a witness,” Armando said, offhandedly, as Charles blanched. “This is the same Raven I defended a couple years ago, right? Your sister?”

“Yes, but--that’s ridiculous!” Charles sputtered. “She didn’t see--I mean, she had no part…” he trailed off, red-faced and mortified. 

Armando studied him for a moment. “Charles, am I right that the privacy of this matter is a great concern to you? And specifically, there is something in regard to this you don’t want Raven to know about?”

“Yes,” Charles said fervently. 

Armando considered that, puffing air out his cheeks. “I suggest you settle, then.”

“Settle? What does that mean, precisely?”

“It means we see how much money they will take to drop the case.”

“But they have absolutely no evidence,” Charles protested. 

Armando leaned forward and tapped the papers. “These documents were prepared in a way that none of the details of the alleged incident are included at this time. But when they start taking the depositions from Erik Lehnsherr and your sister, any details given will become public record. I’m guessing you want to avoid that.”

“But--what if,” he continued, slowly, “The depositions from the ‘witnesses’ don’t reveal anything incriminating?”

“Then you’re off the hook,” Armando said easily.

“Well--” As horrible as he felt at the prospect of asking Erik to lie for him, he thought perhaps Erik might be willing to at least bend the truth a bit. Although he felt uneasy about it. “Maybe that would be the best course of action. I’ll have to, um, talk to him. Erik Lehnsherr. And as I said, Raven doesn’t know anything.”

Armando frowned slightly. “Okay, if that’s what you want to do. Um…” He looked at Charles thoughtfully. “I strongly suspect that the deposition questions will be framed in such a way as to give your sister details about the incident even if she has no corroborating information.”

“Wha--why? How?”

Armando pressed his lips together. “Because the plaintiff appears to know exactly what your priorities are, I’d say.” He looked through the paperwork one more time. “And, she has some idea of what you can afford. Frost Massage is asking for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”

Charles wasn’t shocked by the figure because he’d seen it in the documents, but it sure wasn’t fun to hear it out loud.

“Fuck,” said Charles bitterly. “So, it’s basically blackmail?”

“No, no,” Armando said, with a wry smile. “Blackmail is illegal. This is completely legal.”

Charles closed his eyes. “Can we negotiate?” he said through clenched teeth. He did have the money, but two hundred and fifty thousand was a lot by anyone’s reckoning. 

“Oh, definitely,” Armando said. “And I can take care of that if you’d rather not be present. And of course, in this case, we’d require that signing a nondisclosure agreement would be part of any settlement package.”

“And that means…?”

“Neither side would be allowed, under penalty of a steep fine that we'll negotiate, to divulge the details of the case or the settlement. And the court records are sealed.” Armado held up the document. “Not that there’s anything to be found in it even if it was unsealed, at this point. This was prepared with surgical precision--Sebastian Shaw is a very skilled attorney.”

Sebastian Shaw. Charles hated the man instantly. He exhaled and leaned back. Paying through the nose wasn’t ideal, but if he could keep Raven and everyone else from knowing…”Okay, do your best negotiating. If worse comes to worse I can afford the full amount.”

Armando raised his eyebrows in surprise. “This secret’s pretty important to you.”

Charles sighed unhappily. “Yes, it is.”

Armando managed to get the amount Frost Massage was willing to settle for down to $100,000. Charles considered Armando to be a miracle worker and offered to kiss him, which Armando politely declined, holding up his hand with a wedding ring. 

**

On Thursday March 26th, 2015, around 5:30pm, Raven’s water broke. 

She was at work giving a massage to a woman when she felt it happen and it was extremely confusing and mortifying for a moment, because the reality of what had happened did not register immediately. “Oh my god,” she said, her cheeks burning, stepping back from the massage table to look down. “I just--something--”.

Her client turned to look at Raven with concern, and then understanding. “Oh, honey, your water just broke.” 

“But--I’m only thirty-three weeks,” Raven whispered. She felt faint and sat down. 

The woman swung her legs off the table and put on a robe. “I’m gonna get your boss, honey. You stay sitting right there.”

Raven nodded dumbly, and started trembling as she began to feel afraid. She hadn’t even felt any contractions. What did that mean? She fumbled for her cell phone and called Erik. “My water just broke,” she said when he answered, and looked up to see Emma and her massage client in the doorway.

“But you’re only thirty-three weeks,” Erik said, sounding a bit confused, as if this shouldn’t be happening. 

Raven almost laughed, because it suddenly seemed hilarious that Erik said the same thing she did. She swallowed the laugh back and felt suddenly very cold and clammy. “I know. Erik, I’m scared. I don’t feel good.”

“The ambulance is on its way,” Emma said from the doorway. 

Erik heard that. “Raven, it’s going to be okay,” Raven heard him say, even though he sounded pretty scared himself. “I’ll meet you at the hospital, okay?”

“Will you call Charles?”

“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “I’ll call Lorna, too.”

Since she had a couple minutes, Raven decided to call Charles anyway.

**

Charles received two calls at exactly the same time, one from Raven and one from Erik. He panicked a little before accepting the one from Erik. “Raven’s water broke, ” Erik said without preamble.

Charles gaped. “But she’s only--”

“Yeah, thirty-three weeks, I know,” Erik said. He sounded like he was moving fast somewhere.

“Are she and the baby going to be okay?”

Erik exhaled. “I don’t know. Can you come to the hospital?”

“Oh! Yes, of course.” Charles disconnected the call and turned to his date. “Scott, I’m so sorry, it looks like we will have to reschedule. My sister has gone into premature labor.”

“Oh, no...I’m sorry to hear that?” The tall brunette man sounded a little unsure if he should be happy or concerned. 

“Seven weeks early,” Charles said. “I honestly have no idea how bad that is.”

Scott smiled. “Aren’t you the doctor, Professor?”

“Not that kind of doctor,” Charles replied with a tepid smile, his mind already working anxiously. “Anyway, I’d better get going. I’ll call you so we can find another time to do this.” It was only their second date, and so inviting Scott to the hospital seemed a little premature. 

“Well, I drove,” Scott pointed out reasonably. “Can I drop you off at the hospital?”

“Well...if it’s not too much trouble…” Charles said hesitantly. 

“Not at all,” Scott said with a smile. He really did have a beautiful smile, Charles thought. “I mean, if I’m not imposing.”

“Oh, no, no,” Charles said. “I appreciate the offer.”

**

When they arrived at the maternity ward waiting room, Erik was snarling into his cell phone. “I don’t care if it’s a damn school night, Magda; her _brother_ is being born and I want her to be a part of it!” He listened for a moment and then pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. “Okay. Alright. I’m sorry. Okay, thank you.” He disconnected the call, his eyes still closed, and sighed heavily.

“Erik?” Charles said hesitantly. 

Erik’s eyes snapped open and his eyes lit up, for a brief moment, upon seeing Charles’ face. Then his gaze shifted to the man standing next to Charles and confusion flitted across his features. “Charles. Thank you for coming,” He said, his eyes still on Scott. 

“Erik, this is Scott. Scott, this is my brother-in-law, Erik.” Scott smiled politely and extended his hand. Erik accepted it, glaring daggers at the man as he shook his hand. 

“Hello, Scott,” he said. His tone almost sounded sarcastic. Erik’s eyes shot to Charles. “You brought a _date_ to the delivery room?”

Scott was too startled to be offended by Erik’s rudeness. Charles flushed bright red. He pulled Scott aside. “Erik is having a rough night,” Charles explained weakly to Scott.

“That’s completely understandable,” Scott said, nodding in understanding. “I’ll go.” 

Charles smiled up at him gratefully. “I will make it up to you later,” he said, with a slightly suggestive and mostly apologetic smile. Charles felt Erik’s eyes on him as he spoke and did his best to ignore them. 

Scott took a step back towards Erik. “It was nice to meet you,” he called over to Erik. “Sorry it wasn’t under better circumstances.” 

Erik made a very half-hearted wave in Scott’s direction. 

Scott kissed Charles on the cheek and left.

“He was just dropping me off, Erik,” Charles said, unable to completely hide his amusement as he walked over to sit next to Erik. 

“No, dropping you off is a thing that happens at the curb, outside,” Erik growled. “That guy is trying to--to-- _insinuate_ himself.”

Charles couldn’t help but look at Erik with fond exasperation. “Anyway. How is Raven?”

“She’s contracting, but unevenly. Since her water broke they are going to induce labor. They’re giving her steroids into her amniotic fluid and some other drug to help with the baby’s lungs when he comes out.” Erik recited the words in a monotone. 

“Is that--bad--or good?”

Erik rubbed his hand across his face. “Unfortunately doctors don’t talk with those words. I think it’s good. I mean, none of this is good, but no one has acted like she or the baby are in danger. Everyone thinks she’ll be able to deliver vaginally. Raven’s doctor isn’t available tonight, so we’re stuck with the schmuck who’s on call.”

The aforementioned schmuck walked into the waiting room just then. “Erik Lehnsherr?” He called, looking down at his clipboard. Erik and Charles both stood up. The doctor looked at Charles in puzzlement. “Charles Xavier?”

“Hank McCoy!” Charles exclaimed. “So good to see you! Raven Lehnsherr is my sister,” he explained, heading off the question that was starting to form on Hank’s lips.

“Oh, well, then I can tell both of you,” Dr. McCoy said. “The mother--Raven--is doing remarkably well. She’s asked to see you, Erik; you can go in. Unfortunately she’s asking for only only one person at a time,” he quickly added, looking at Charles apologetically. 

“I’ll be quick,” Erik said, grasping Charles on the shoulder and giving him a reassuring squeeze. Charles nodded and smiled, only a little hurt that he was playing second fiddle to Erik in Raven’s life now. 

“I’m glad you are the on-call physician,” Charles said to Dr. McCoy after Erik had left. “My brother-in-law said it was ‘some schmuck’.”

“Yes, well, he’s been doing a pretty good job of terrorizing everyone,” Hank said, pushing his glasses up. 

“I’d apologize for him, but I can’t take responsibility,” Charles said, chuckling. Hank smiled back. 

Erik came back just then, looking suspiciously between Hank and Charles. “Well, that was fast,” Charles said in surprise. 

“She wants to see you,” He said to Charles, for some reason still looking at Dr. McCoy. Charles didn’t even excuse himself and went straight to the birthing suite. A nurse was standing by a monitor in the room and Charles can hear the soft whoosh of the baby’s heartbeat in the background. She glanced at Charles and offers a small smile, then returned to looking at the screen. 

“Charles!” Raven had a big smile for him. “They’re giving me the good drugs!”

Charles laughed. “Well, at least these ones are legal.”

“Yeah. Erik told me I interrupted your date.”

Charles, still smiling, shook his head in puzzlement. “Why would he--? I mean, yes, technically, but it’s fine, Raven.”

“I’m just--I’m not ready,” Raven said, and suddenly her smile from earlier was gone, replaced by fear, and Raven looked so small in the bed, almost like she was twelve again. Charles shook his head, trying to keep up with her mood swings and subject changes. “My baby shower was supposed to be this weekend. My room isn’t ready for the baby.”

“All those things will be taken care of,” Charles soothed her, taking her hand. “Erik and I will make sure of it.” 

“And Lorna,” Raven added. Her eyelids seemed to be drooping. “‘m getting sleepy.” 

“Is this okay?” Charles asked, turning to look at the nurse, mildly alarmed. She offered him the same smile and told him it was fine for Raven to be sleepy. 

Raven smiled at Charles. “They told me to try and sleep for a few hours. I don’t remember why. Something about not being able to later.”

“Okay then.” He stood there, wondering if he should leave. Raven’s eyes drooped further.

“You should go...keep Erik company,” Raven said, barely awake. “He’s really worried.”

“Yes, he is.” Charles kissed Raven on the forehead and left the room quietly. 

Charles exhaled slowly and walked back to the waiting area to see that Lorna had just arrived. “Can I say hi to Raven?” Lorna asked Charles. 

“Well, she just fell asleep, but I’m sure she will want to talk with you later,” Charles said. Lorna looked a little disappointed but shrugged and sat down across the wide hallway from her father to busy herself with her phone. Charles went and sat down next to Erik, who handed him a styrofoam cup of coffee. 

“Lots of cream and lots of sugar,” Erik said. He drank his own coffee black. 

“Thank you,” Charles said, accepting the beverage.

“So how do you know Dr. McCoy?” Erik asked immediately. 

“Oh, we did a research project together in grad school,” Charles explained, remembering the project. “He did the lab-work side of some experiments we did based on our hypotheses about inheritable genetic traits.”

“Did you and he ever…?”

Charles nearly choked on his coffee. “Hank? No. He’s very straight.”

“So how do you know Scott?” Erik continued, barely registering Charles’ response to the previous question.

“To quote someone I know: ‘Am I to be interrogated, then’?” Charles said lightly. Erik shot him a rueful grin. 

“Just curious,” Erik said, looking down at his coffee. 

“We’re taking a ballroom dancing class together,” Charles said after a moment. “I told you about that, remember?” 

“Yes, that’s right,” Erik said. Charles took a sip of his coffee and almost spit it out laughing when Erik added, “Well, he looks like a total douche.”

“He is not a douche!” Charles protested, unable to keep the smile off his face. “He’s a very nice man. He’s a pilot, and he’s done some modelling work.” Erik’s mouth was getting tighter and tighter as Charles continued, enjoying Erik’s reaction. “He has magnificent cheekbones, didn’t you notice?”

“I have magnificent cheekbones,” Erik muttered and Charles could not help but laugh loudly. Erik was biting his lip now, trying not to smile. 

“Oh, and he’s hung like a horse,” Charles added quietly, as if it was an afterthought.

Erik inhaled, lifted his head and looked straight forward before turning his head to face Charles. “I haven’t had any complaints.”

Charles put his hand over his mouth to hold in his laugh. With everything feeling so heavy, it felt good to laugh, and at least Erik was smiling now, too. “This is a very inappropriate conversation,” Charles pointed out in a sly tone.

“Well, apparently that’s the only thing we’re good at,” Erik said in response, stretching out his legs. 

**

“Okay,” said Dr. McCoy. “The good news is that the baby is in good shape. We did an ultrasound and he’s head-down, which is good. He’s also measuring ahead of time on growth. She’s thirty-three weeks along, right?”

Erik and Charles both nodded at Hank’s question. Both of them were shaking off sleepiness as they’d both just woken up; Lorna had stayed awake and had woken them up when Dr. McCoy came around. 

“Well, he’s about two weeks ahead, measuring at 35, which is in his favor. With the right care, the his chance of needing little time in the NICU is very good.”

“The right care,” Erik repeated, sounding a little anxious.

Hank smiled. “We’ve got it covered, Mr. Lehnsherr. We delivers babies at 33 weeks all the time.”

“Okay then. When do I go in and, you know, help?” 

Hank laughed a little. “Well...we could use some help right now, if either of you is good at, well, calming her down?” 

Erik and Charles looked at each other, both frowning, then Lorna stepped forward with all the confidence only a teenager can have. “I’ll go in.” 

Hank looked at her quizzically. “You’re an adult, right?” 

“Yep,” she said confidently, putting her phone away and meeting the doctor’s gaze. Hank looked at Erik, whose mouth was firmly shut. “Nineteen next month.”

Hank raised his eyebrows but inclined his head and indicated for Lorna to follow him. 

**

Charles snapped awake when he heard Raven yelling down the hallway. He stood up and almost collapsed back onto the couch from dizziness when Erik grasped his arm. “She’s okay,” he said, although his own face looked rather pale, too. “She’s pushing!”

Charles took a deep breath and tried to calm his pounding heart. The baby was almost here. His nephew. “She wants Charles,” a nurse said, peeking her head out of into the waiting room. “Charles, are you here?”

Charles shakily rose to his feet. “I’m here.” He followed the nurse into the delivery room. Raven was covered with sweat, her blond hair plastered to her head. Lorna stepped back by the window as Charles entered. Raven’s knees were up in stirrups and Charles could see a thick patch of dark wet hair right where her vagina should be--was that--? “Is that the--baby--?” 

“She’s crowning,” Dr. McCoy said as Charles walked by, and then he added in a lower voice, “Unfortunately the epidural isn’t working as well as we’d hoped and we can’t increase her rate right now.”

“Charles, I can’t do this,” Raven cried, looking at Charles, and it physically hurt him to see her in such agony. 

“Yes you can,” he said firmly, before looking over to Dr. McCoy. “She can, right?”

The doctor chuckled. “She definitely can. Lots of women do it, and Raven is just as strong as them, if not stronger.”

“Fuck you all, laughing at me,” Raven panted. “I’m so tired, Charles. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yes, you can, Raven. You are--the most badass bitch I know. You can definitely do this.”

“Did you call me a bitch?” Raven was still crying, but now there were also bits of hysterical laughter welling up. 

“Okay, we need you to push again,” the nurse at the foot of the bed called. “Ready, Raven?”

“Fuck you,” Raven said.

“Okay then. On three. One, two, three!”

Raven pushed and screamed and Charles screamed with her and when they stopped Raven said through labored breaths, “Why did you yell, you weirdo?”

“Solidarity,” Charles responded because he really didn’t know what else to say. 

“One more push should do it,” Doctor McCoy said, “Julia, can you call the NICU team to get them in the room. This baby’s coming.” 

“I want Erik,” Raven yelled.

“Okay, I’ll send get him,” Charles replied, hurrying to get Erik.

He found Erik pacing in the hall. “She wants you, ” Charles gasped. Erik was in the room in a flash, Charles trailing behind him. He knew Raven had asked for just one person at a time, but the baby was coming, and her family should be there, right? 

Charles backed against the wall to get out of the way of the hospital staff suddenly rushing in. He felt like he was having an out-of-body experience as he watched a tiny baby-- _his nephew, Raven’s son_ \--be carefully handled by the doctor to rest on Raven’s stomach as she was suddenly laughing as much as crying. They took the baby away far too soon and a million people were checking him over and making sure he was okay as Erik hovered anxiously nearby. 

Charles felt completely overwhelmed and in the way. He slipped out the door and stepped in to the hall in a haze. He sunk down onto the waiting room couch, grabbed his now-cold cup of coffee and chugged it in one swallow, then tipped his head back and closed his eyes. 

**  
It couldn’t have been five minutes later that Lorna woke Charles by tugging on his sleeve. “Hey. Here you are Charles. We wondered where you went.” She tugged him a little harder. “Charles! Come see the baby.”

“The baby, there’s a baby,” he mumbled, trying to wake up faster. He followed Lorna into a room where Erik, in a gown and mask, was very proudly holding a bundle of swaddling blankets and buried in them was the very tiny baby. Raven appeared to be asleep at the other end of the room. Erik saw Charles come in and grinned at him happily. “Meet my son,” he whispered through the surgical mask.

Charles felt a lump in his throat, seeing how happy and proud Erik looked. He was distantly aware that he was crying, happy for Erik and proud of Raven. He tears might have been partly from exhaustion too because he was also very tired, very dirty, and very hungry. 

The baby ended up going to the NICU. He was doing so well that they let Erik and Raven spend an hour with him, but then they needed to keep a closer eye on his breathing. According to the doctors, though, he was doing remarkably well for 33 weeks. Everyone kept telling Raven and Erik what a trooper the baby was. Raven insisted on staying at the hospital the entire time, although Dr. McCoy cleared her to go home. She was also equally insistent that Erik and Charles and Lorna go home and rest and eat; Charles was shocked to realize that it was late Friday afternoon before the three of them finally left the hospital. They took a cab, barely staying awake. 

Charles couldn’t tolerate the thought of going any longer without sleep, so he asked Erik if he could sleep on the couch. Erik said of course. Charles was vaguely aware of Erik and Lorna having some kind of argument before he came out of the bathroom and Lorna took him and told him to sleep in her room. 

“Where...you sleep,” he mumbled, but the bed was such a relief that instead of worrying about that he fell asleep immediately. 

**  
 _(April 1st, 2015, evening)_

Charles came over again a few days later, the evening of the same day the baby was allowed to come home from the hospital. 

“I’ve decided to name him Kurt,” Raven said. “I mean--we decided.” She looked up at Erik appeasingly. He laughed. 

Raven was holding the baby as she sat on the couch. Despite being born prematurely, Kurt had a full head of thick black hair, bright eyes that were taking in the world around him and a wide snub nose that Charles thought must have come from someone’s long-lost ancestor. Erik was standing behind Raven making faces at the newborn and Charles was kneeling in front of her.

“He is so, incredibly tiny,” Charles said in wonder. Something about the baby’s hair tickled Charles’ memory, but he couldn’t figure out why.

Raven giggled and looked at Erik. “He may look little, but he’s a tough guy! They told me he’s actually more the size of a baby born at 35 weeks.” Raven turned back to the baby and cooed at him in a surprisingly un-Ravenlike manner. Charles was going to have to get used to this new side of his sister. He stared at his sister and her family, his brain whirring, something nagging at him as he watched them. Erik’s brownish hair showing its red highlights in the sunshine, Raven’s blond bent over the tiny bundle in her arms, and Kurt’s wild shock of black hair. 

_Black hair._

The problem Charles’ brain had been trying to work out suddenly snapped into focus. Black hair. Thirty-five weeks. And that nose that didn’t look like either Raven or Erik. He looked at Erik’s reddish, light brown hair and Raven’s natural blond. His jaw was falling more and more open as the geneticist in him came up with: not possible. _Kurt was not Erik’s baby._


	8. Sydney

_(Sunday, April 5th, 2015)_

Charles _really_ wanted a drink.

It had been a rough week, considering what he had learned about his nephew. He didn’t know what to do with that information just yet, and it felt like it was burning a hole in him. Usually Charles had game night to look forward to Sunday nights, but since Kurt had been born it seemed like those were paused indefinitely. 

He needed to be around other people, he knew himself well enough to know that. He knew he had told Scott he would call to reschedule, but he didn’t feel like seeing Scott. Charles thought he ought to have been more interested in the professional pilot/model, but he just wasn’t. Scott was a perfectly nice, attractive, polite, man he just wasn’t...Erik. 

Charles missed Erik. In fact, if there was one thing he wanted more than a drink, it was to see Erik.

Charles reflected, as he tried not to think about how close the liquor store was, that the only person who knew that he was trying to quit drinking at all was Erik. Charles didn’t have any other close friends, and even if he did, frankly he found the idea of talking to anyone about it except Erik too embarrassing to contemplate. 

It was 11pm. He texted Erik.

_having trouble not drinking. you awake?_

The response came quicker than Charles expected. _yes. i’m on baby duty. can I help?_

_can I come over, maybe watch a movie?_

_if you will change a diaper, deal_

Charles smiled. He felt a little better already. 

**

He arrived a little after midnight. Erik greeted him with a hug, and spoke in a low voice. “Raven’s gone to bed, but I told her you were here, and why. She needs to be up around 4am to feed the baby.”

“Is it going to disturb her if we watch a movie?” Charles said.

“No, she’s--no, it won’t.”

They walked into the living room. Charles saw that Kurt was sleeping in a bassinet at the foot of the couch. 

“What are you in the mood for--romance? Or action?”

Charles jolted at the innuendo in Erik’s voice and turned to see the man grinning at him shamelessly. “I’m not even going to say it anymore,” Charles said trying not to laugh and shaking his head. _Inappropriate_.

“As far as a _movie genre_ , though,” Charles said pointedly, “how about something ridiculously stupid?”

“Half-Baked?” Erik suggested. “Although, it’s about weed.”

Charles waved his hand. “That’s fine. It won’t bother me”

They watched the movie in companionable silence for a bit until the baby started crying. Erik picked him up and rocked him a little bit and the baby gradually quieted. He was gazing down at the infant with such adoration in his eyes that Charles, knowing what he knew, had to look away.

“Do you want to have children, Charles?” Erik was still gazing at the baby as he asked the question softly.

Charles smiled, a little sadly. “I would love to, but I’m not sure it’s in the cards.”

Erik just looked at him with empathy. 

“We’re not all lucky enough to be able to conceive accidentally, you know.” Charles added, light sarcasm lacing his words. “That is...not going to happen for me.”

“Lucky.” Erik said, seemingly slightly amused. “You know, I didn’t feel lucky when Raven first told me she was pregnant. But now that he’s here, in my arms…” Erik trailed off. A number of emotions crossed his face, expressions he probably thought Charles didn’t see in the dim, flickering, light of the television. “I’m luckier than you think I am.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have me if Raven hadn’t gotten pregnant, so I’d say you are lucky indeed.” Charles said it jokingly, although he was also keen to change the subject, feeling more than a little anxious talking about things like conception and having babies, considering what he knew.

Erik, apparently, wasn’t interested in changing the subject. “Does anyone in your family have black hair?” Erik asked after a moment, looking down at Kurt. 

Charles’s heart started beating a little faster. “Hmm. Well, no, but Raven is adopted, so…” he shrugged, trying not to make eye contact with Erik as he answered the question.

“Raven is adopted?”

Charles looked at Erik in surprise. “She never told you that?”

Erik shook his head. 

“Well,” Charles said, “Actually, technically...” He trailed off and looked at Erik. “So I guess she never told you how we met?”

“No,” Erik said, fascinated. He grabbed the remote to pause the movie. “Go on.”

“I started volunteering at a community center when I was, actually, about Lorna’s age,” Charles said. He paused. He didn’t usually explain more about that, but this was Erik, so he did. “I told people I did it because it looked good on my college transcripts, but really it was because I would have done anything to get out of the house.”

“You didn’t get along with your parents?”

“Hmm. Yes, that’s one way of putting it. It wasn’t bad until my father died, when I was seven. My mother remarried about a year later and that man--” Charles paused and frowned. “Hmm. That’s--well.” He looked at Erik. “His name was also Kurt. But Raven barely knew him; I doubt she would remember that.”

Erik frowned. “Oh. But I thought--she was--adopted?”

“Er, well. I’ll get to that. Kurt--my step-father Kurt--was abusive to myself and my mother. She--my mother--drank. A lot.” Charles almost zoned out, feeling himself getting caught up in self-analysis, but Erik gave him a very expectant look. “Anyway. I met Raven when she was about nine at the community center. She was in foster care--although ‘care’ is a term I use loosely in this case. She was a skinny, mean, tough kid who tried to spend the night in the community center more than once. ”

Erik could picture Raven being exactly that. He smiled. 

“Despite how different we were, we--clicked. I bought her food when she didn’t have any and she--well, she was my only friend for a long time. She said I was the only person who didn’t want something from her. She showed up covered with bruises one day and when I told her that she shouldn’t have to deal with that, she said, ‘at least all this daddy does is hit me.’” Charles swallowed the lump in his throat, remembering that week. “I took her home and tried to get my parents to adopt her, but they refused. They said horrible things about me bringing a pet home, jokes about pedophilia…” Charles used a thumb to wipe a tear away. “Sorry I’m so sentimental tonight,” he said with a shy smile to Erik. 

Erik shifted the baby and reached out his hand to hold Charles’. His eyes looked a little wet, too, Charles thought, and he squeezed Charles’ hand tightly. “No need to apologize,” he said softly. “What did you do?”

Charles slowly smiled, tears still shining in his eyes. “I became emancipated.” He turned his head to grin at Erik.

“Is that a figure of speech, or do you mean…?”

Charles chuckled. “I’m being quite literal. I became an emancipated minor so that I could take care of Raven on my own.”

Erik’s mouth was open in astonishment. “But--how did you support yourself?”

“Oh, my father left me a sizable inheritance. It was in a trust until I reached adulthood, so I...well, I figured out a way to reach adulthood faster.”

“Sizeable? As in…?” 

Charles slid his eyes away from Erik’s. “As in, quite sizeable. I have set-up a two million dollar trust for Raven--she refuses to touch it, of course.” He didn’t add that he planned to set-up a similar trust for Kurt. Erik was looking at him with a shocked expression. “What? You knew I was wealthy.”

“Well, no. Not that wealthy. Jesus Christ.” Erik looked back to the baby in his arms for a moment. “So you don’t have to work.”

“Have to, no, not for money. But it would be pretty hard to keep from drinking all the time if I were sitting around doing nothing all day.” It was on the tip of Charles’ tongue to offer to set-up a trust for Erik and Lorna as well. But he thought that these aren’t the kind of things one offers lightly in the middle of the night, and decided to think more on that another time.

Erik shook his head like he was trying to clear it. “Wow. Okay, so, back to your completely normal youth. After you got emancipated, you--what, adopted Raven? As a--daughter? When you were sixteen?”

Erik was becoming more and more incredulous and Charles couldn’t help but be amused. “Well. You keep getting ahead of me! At first, I just made an informal agreement with her foster family that they would get the foster care money each month and she would live with me. You’d think they would have been worried that I was some kind of pervert, but, no. Or if they thought that they didn’t care.”

Charles tucked his feet up under him. “See, by law, a person has to be twenty-one years of age regardless if they are emancipated before they can adopt another person. I wouldn’t have bothered, actually, except I got accepted to grad school in Oxford, and we needed to move. So...yes, I adopted Raven. Legally she was--is--my daughter.” 

Erik’s jaw was hanging open. 

“Are you auditioning for something, darling?” Charles murmured, suggestively. 

Erik snapped his jaw shut. “Holy _shit,_ Charles.” 

“Yes, it does make a good story, doesn’t it?” Charles smiled. “I so rarely get to tell it. By the way,” Charles sat up abruptly, “ _Please_ don’t tell Raven that I told you I am legally her parent. She will _kill_ me.”

Erik choked on a laugh. “What. Um, ok. I won’t. But, Jesus, Charles...you are an incredible person.”

Charles wanted to protest and bring up every way he had failed Raven--because he had failed, spectacularly, many times--but Erik’s affectionate and slightly awed regard for him felt like a warm blanket, one he didn’t want push off. He smiled back and the two men spent a very long time--an inappropriately long time--gazing into each other’s eyes. 

Charles finally sighed deeply. “I want…” _You. A drink._ He looked at Erik. “A cigarette.”

Erik’s eyebrows raised. “Trading one vice for another?”

“There are worse vices to have,” Charles answered smoothly, running a tongue across his lip. Erik looked at Charles’ lip and it took all Charles’ willpower not to do it again. 

“Do you even have cigarettes?”

“No,” Charles sighed, stretching his socked feet out until they touched the side of Erik’s thigh. “I thought you might.”

Erik ignored the feet touching his thigh. He started to speak and then frowned. “You know, I think...I’ll be right back.”

Erik walked down the hall and returned momentarily with a sadly-battered pack of Camel lights. “Raven had this when she moved in. She didn’t smoke any while she was pregnant,” Erik quickly clarified. “Well, I don’t think she did.”

“Good thing I’m not picky,” Charles said, yawning, rolling up off the couch. 

“Balcony,” Erik said firmly. 

“I know,” Charles replied grouchily. “I wouldn’t think of smoking inside.” He gave Erik a beseeching look. “Come with me?”

Erik pursed his lips and hummed. “It’s cold out there.”

“Oh come on, I’ll keep you warm,” Charles teased. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Erik grumbled good-naturedly. 

Erik put Kurt down in his bassinet and turned on the baby monitor. Then he gestured to Charles that he was following and Charles led the way to the balcony. 

“Brrrr!” As soon as Charles stepped outside he realized that 2am on an April evening in Manhattan on the twentieth floor was _cold._. 

“Can I have a blanket or something?” He asked Erik, doing his best to make puppy dog eyes at the taller man.

“Charles...I don’t want my blankets to smell like smoke.”

Charles might have pouted a little. “Okay.” He tried to light his cigarette but he was shivering too hard to make it work. Erik sighed and held the lighter for him. Charles inhaled and drew a cherry on the cigarette. 

“Thank you,” he said meekly. 

Erik gave him an annoyed look. “I’ll be right back,” he said. He returned quickly, with an old army surplus jacket. He handed it to Charles, who donned it gratefully. 

Charles wrapped the coat around him tightly. It was too big, and he thought he probably looked ridiculous in it, but Erik was looking at him with a small silly smile. Charles inhaled with his face pressed to the collar of the coat and made a happy sound. 

“What?” Erik asked, amused.

“Oh, um, nothing.”

Erik raised his eyebrows expectantly and he looked so adorable doing that that Charles wanted to--well, the list of what he didn’t want to do would have been shorter. 

“I was just going to say that this coat smells like you, and then I thought better of it,” Charles admitted in a small voice, honestly. 

“But you said it anyway,” Erik pointed out, still with a ridiculously silly smile on his face. 

“I did,” Charles agreed, smiling ruefully. “I’ve never been known for having good judgement.”

Erik laughed and took a step closer to Charles, then hesitated and sat down on a patio chair instead. Charles was still standing, smoking. He looked out over the lights of the city. 

“Do you really think Raven didn’t have a cigarette after she moved in?” Charles asked thoughtfully after a moment. 

Erik inhaled slowly and thoughtfully. “I don’t think she did,” he said finally. “But I’m not too worried about it. I trust her.”

Charles’ happy glow came crashing down around him as he thought about how Raven had deceived Erik by marrying him and then having another man’s baby. “Trust,” he snorted. “Right.”

Erik misinterpreted his reaction. “Hey now. I--we--haven’t violated anyone’s trust. I mean, not really. One drunken kiss that I can’t even remember--that hardly seems fair.”

“Oh, Erik.” Charles finished his cigarette and irresponsibly flicked it over the balcony railing. “I thought we had determined a long time ago that none of this is fair.” He turned to go back inside the apartment without waiting to see if Erik was following. 

Erik was right behind him. Charles took off the coat and handed it back to Erik with a muttered, “Thanks.” He went to the kitchen and washed his hands, then came back out into the living room. “Well--” he started to say but Erik was standing there, his weight shifting nervously. 

“We didn’t finish the movie,” Erik said. He was looking at Charles with that damn _open_ expression that just undid Charles every time. “You don’t have to leave just yet, do you? Do you have work tomorrow? I don’t. I’m taking a family leave day tomorrow.”

Charles was torn. “I don’t, but...”

“I have an idea,” Erik said abruptly. “Footrub.”

Charles gaped at him. “Are you offering?” he finally managed to say. 

“Yes. I mean, I sort of owe you, right?” Erik grinned at him. Charles laughed out loud. 

“Is that--I mean, can you--we--isn’t that--” 

“It’s fine,” Erik said firmly. “Nothing that would upset Raven, if that’s what you are worried about. Now, we’ve got a stoner movie to finish. Lie down on the couch.”

Bemused, Charles lay down on the couch. Erik sat down on the end and took of his socks. “Your feet are so cold!” he exclaimed. 

“Well, I was out on the balcony in only socks, so--oh my god.” Erik started rubbing and Charles was quickly turning into a puddle. 

“Oh my god,” Charles moaned again, louder, then bit down on the side of his hand to stifle the indecent sounds coming out of his mouth. Erik grinned evilly. 

Charles grabbed a throw pillow and shoved that in his mouth because he literally could not keep quiet, Erik’s hands on his feet felt so warm and amazing and how big were those hands, anyway? They felt huge. 

“This is fun,” Erik murmured. 

“Inappro-ohmygod,” Charles gasped and had to pull his feet out of Erik’s lap. “Erik, I love you, but I don’t think my poor heart can take any more.”

They both froze at Charles’ words. They were so unintentionally but painfully true that it almost hurt Charles to breathe for a second. 

Erik abruptly started crawling towards him on the couch. Charles watched him get closer, terrified and titilated. Erik pushed Charles onto his side and pulled him close to Erik, so the taller man was spooning Charles on the narrow couch, both of them facing the television. Charles tried to breathe normally.

His anxiety got the best of him and Charles started to say something when Erik cut him off, his voice close and quiet and guttural. “I just want--this. Okay? I just want to hold you. I won’t...this is all I want, right now.”

Charles closed his eyes and put his head down on the throw pillow he’d been using as an impromptu gag a moment earlier. Almost in disbelief, he let his body slowly relax against Erik’s, bit by bit. Charles’ cock was half-hard, but he determinedly ignored that and just enjoyed the feel of Erik’s chest on his back, his breath on Charles’ neck. He felt warm and cared for and safe and _home_ in a way he couldn’t remember feeling in a long, long time. 

Raven came out to get Kurt to feed him around 4am. She turned off the TV, which was cycling through the Apple TV screensavers, and put her hand to her open mouth when she turned to see her husband and her brother, cuddled up on the couch, both sound asleep. 

**

After his unintentional sleepover, Charles realized that something had to change. He knew that he and Erik were walking a slippery slope: despite what Erik seemed to believe, falling asleep together, while cuddled up together, went far past the boundaries of acceptable behavior with one’s brother-in-law. 

He got back to his home late in the morning the next day. He had mixed feelings upon seeing that he had received a fat envelope from the University of Sydney in the mail. He scanned the letter and something in him twisted when he saw that he was being offered the lecturer’s position that he had applied for right after Raven and Erik got married. 

It was a great offer. Tenure-track, light class load, research and grant opportunities along with a salary that American colleges just couldn’t compete with. The position started in August, but the institution was offering him free temporary housing for three months prior to that to help him make the huge move.

Charles put the letter down and sighed. He wasn’t one to believe in things like signs, but the stress of wanting--loving--Erik, and not being able to have him was bad enough. Now that he was also bearing the burden of knowing Erik wasn’t Kurt’s biological father...well, it made him want to drink every time he thought about the whole situation. 

He tried to envision a completely different life, in Australia, teaching, without Raven, without Erik...it hurt, yes, but Charles wasn’t a fatalist. He was determinedly optimistic and he thought that it would probably hurt for a couple years but he would eventually meet someone and move on and only see Erik and Raven at holidays. It’s not like he would never see them again.

The university had given him a month to respond but Charles signed the acceptance letter and mailed it before he could talk himself out of it. He started to breathe a little easier as he convinced himself that there was light at the end of the tunnel. There was a solution; not an ideal, perfect solution, but that didn’t exist. Leaving his sister and brother-in-law alone to live their lives without his interference was the kindest thing he could do for them and for himself. 

And he didn’t even feel like having a drink.

**

Game night resumed when Kurt was about four weeks old. Charles had been deliberately giving Erik and Raven a little more space, for pretty much the same reasons he was planning to move to Sydney, although he hadn’t said anything about that to either of them yet. But when he got the invitation to game night via text from Raven, he realized that he missed them both desperately. 

Raven was breastfeeding as the four of them played Trivial Pursuit. At one point, Raven looked at Charles and then Erik, opened her mouth to say something, and thought better of it. “You know…” she said instead. “Emma never did tell me the supposedly embarrassing story of you and she met.”

Due to the non-disclosure agreement Charles had never filled Erik in on the details of the lawsuit settlement, including the fact that a non-disclosure agreement existed, so Erik flashed Charles a look of alarm. Charles smiled easily at Raven. “What, do you think I’m going to tell you?”

“Maybe I should call her right now,” Raven threatened playfully. 

Charles shrugged. “Go right ahead.” 

“I don’t like Emma,” Lorna announced. 

Charles grinned at Lorna. “I’m glad I’m not the only one!”

Erik chuckled. “Emma and Lorna never got along. Emma always said, ‘I don’t do kids.’”

“As if I was completely defined by my age,” Lorna huffed. She had turned fifteen in early March a few weeks before Kurt had been born. “I don’t know why my dad likes her, honestly.” 

Erik shrugged. “Easy. I look like a better person in comparison.”

Charles superficially enjoyed the games and the banter but the whole situation was wearing him down. Before coming over that night he’d thought he could handle this better. He wasn’t drinking--small victories, he thought--but he felt brittle and crumbling. He wanted Erik so badly it was eviscerating him. 

They were taking a short break from the game because Raven had gone to put the baby down and Lorna was using the restroom. Erik went to the kitchen to refill his soda and Charles followed him. Erik turned in surprise and Charles wrapped him in a tight hug, with his head to the side against Erik’s chest. Neither man said anything, and Erik stroked a soothing hand across Charles back, then his whole body stiffened slightly. Charles pulled away without a word and got himself a glass of water.

**

Not that Erik had been expecting the hug, but he wasn’t entirely surprised by it. Charles had a tightness around the eyes that evening and when he thought no one was looking at him he looked miserable--although the second anyone would engage him, Charles was smiling and as charming as ever. 

Lorna approached the kitchen door and was opening her mouth to say something when she and Erik made eye contact over Charles’ head. She gave him a small smile and silently stepped away just before Charles pulled away and got himself water, then left without saying anything. 

Erik stood in the kitchen a moment, wondering if he should talk to Lorna about what she saw. 

What he knew for sure is that something had to give, and soon. The stress of the whole situation was beginning to wear on him and he _knew_ it was wearing on Charles--but the timing, with Raven being a new mother, needing his support more than ever now--was horrible. 

**

As it turned out, Erik didn’t need to bring it up with Lorna. Lorna brought it up with him. 

“Daddy, are you sure you are with the right sibling?” She asked him, after Raven had gone to bed. 

Erik stiffened involuntarily. “Lorna. I know you saw Charles and I hugging, but I--”

“It’s not just that.” She was dealing herself out a game of solitaire on the coffee table as Erik sat on the couch next to her, reading. “It’s how you look at each other.”

“Oh, and how do we look at each other?” Erik asked, trying to sound patronizing. 

“Well, for instance--when you laugh, Charles looks at you the whole time, like he doesn’t want to miss a second of it. And you do that to him too.” She finished dealing out her game and looked at Erik expectantly.

“Well, Lorna, that’s an astute observation, but I think it could be said for a lot of humans,” Erik said, after a slight pause, desperately trying not to lie to his daughter and also not give anything away. 

Lorna didn’t say anything for a few minutes, then added softly, “Mom told me a long time ago that you like men.” 

Erik pinched the bridge of his nose. _Magda, thanks a lot._ “I love Raven, Lorna.”

She smiled at him. “I know you do, Daddy. But you’re not having sex with her.”

Erik had nothing to say in response to that. He did think, though, that he needed to have a talk with Raven about boundaries. 

**

Charles stopped by to see Raven about a week later in the afternoon. He was dreading the conversation because he knew it would be a difficult one, one that needed to be between him and his sister alone. He wanted to tell her about Sydney first, before he told Erik, because he knew telling Erik would be harder. He thought if Raven knew first, telling Erik might go a little easier. 

Also, after much thought he had decided that for Kurt’s benefit he needed to make sure that at least Raven knew that Kurt wasn’t Erik’s child. That decision had nothing to do with Charles’ personal feelings about the child’s parentage; as a geneticist, Charles knew it could be damaging for certain kinds of medical care if assumptions were made about family history that turned out to be incorrect. 

The matter of when, exactly, Raven had realized the truth was the personal part of the situation--and that’s the part Charles was still struggling to decide if he should address.

She was folding laundry when he arrived. “Charles! Hi! Make yourself useful.” She slid a basket of clothes across the floor to him. 

He chuckled. “Okay.” He settled down across from her, sitting cross-legged on the floor, and picked up a onesie to fold. “I have some good news.”

“Oh?” She smiled at him expectantly.

“I’ve been offered a teaching position,” he said carefully.

“Oh! I didn’t know you were looking to make a move. Where is it?”

“It’s tenure-track position, light class load, and an excellent salary; almost half again what I’m earning now,” he said, not looking at Raven as he folded a white square cloth.

“That’s sounds great,” she said. “ _Where?_ ”

Charles wanted to put off saying, give a glowing description of how much he’d always wanted to move to Sydney, but the next article of clothing he picked to fold was a pair of Erik’s boxer briefs and it distracted him. “University of Sydney.”

He folded the briefs and reached for another item. He realized Raven was staring at him and he looked up to meet her eyes.

“ _Australia,_ Charles?”

“Yes.”

She kept staring at him as Charles, uncomfortable under her scrutiny, picked up another item to fold. 

“But...you’re not seriously considering it, are you? I mean--”

“I’ve already accepted it,” Charles said, with a smile, trying to keep the quaver out of his voice. 

Raven was frowning, looking at him. “Okay, yeah, it sounds like a great job, Charles--but can’t you find something closer? I didn’t know you were unhappy at Columbia. You’ll be all alone in Australia!”

“Raven, I’ll be fine,” he said gently. “I’m a grown man. I will make friends.”

“Well maybe I won’t be fine!” she said, vehemently. “Fuck, Charles, I just had a baby-- _premature_ \--and you’re my only family. You know that!”

“You have your own family now,” Charles said, and tears rushed to his eyes as he spoke, but he tried to keep his voice steady. “Erik, and Kurt, and Lorna. You don’t need me, Raven.”

“How can you…” She looked like she wanted to cry, but she pressed her lips together instead and swallowed. “When? When are you leaving?” 

“The position starts in August, but they are offering me free housing until then to help me transition. So..." Charles cringed internally, in anticipation of Raven’s response, "The day after tomorrow."

" _The day after tomorrow_? Have you told Erik?"

Charles shook his head. "No. I wanted to tell you first."

Raven just looked at him like he had betrayed her after that until Charles started to feel uncomfortable. She only stopped when the baby monitor made a sound and she went into the other room to get little Kurt. She carried him back into the living room with her and sat down on the couch.

“Erik is going to be upset,” she said quietly, looking at the baby.

Charles didn’t respond. Yes, Erik would be upset.

Charles watched his sister with her baby and he realized that he had to know. He knew it shouldn’t matter, but he needed to know something. Even though it didn’t matter. He battled himself internally and finally asked, in almost a whisper, “Did you know when you married Erik that the baby wasn’t his?”

She snapped her head up to look at him. “What the fuck are you talking about, Charles?”

He wished he could take it back, seeing how hurt and shocked she looked. But he did need her to know. And maybe the question _he_ needed to know had just been answered.

“Kurt _is_ Erik’s baby!” She hissed at him, when he didn’t say anything, her cheeks reddening. “Why would you say that?”

Charles swallowed. He needed her, at least, to know the truth so that if a medical condition ever came up, Raven wouldn’t give misleading information.

“It’s not genetically possible for two people with the coloring that you and Erik have to have a child with black hair,” Charles said, as kindly as he could, hating himself as he watched the horror come over Raven’s face. “Kurt’s biological father has black hair.”

“My god, you are full of shit. You have no idea what you are talking about.” Raven carefully put Kurt in the bassinet at the end of the couch. Charles saw that her arms were trembling. 

Charles swallowed but continued. “I’m a geneticist, Raven. In this one case, I can assure you I know exactly what I am talking about.” She had a hand pressed across her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut. “You really didn’t know?”

She squeezed her eyes harder and a few tears fell. “I thought...” She trailed off. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know for sure. I wanted him to be Erik’s baby so bad. Charles, the only other guy it could be is my ex, Az. But he’s--” she shuddered. “He’s awful, Charles. He wasn’t even _really_ my boyfriend, I just said that to you because it was easier than explaining--” cut off by her own sobs, she choked. 

Charles moved up to the couch to sit next to her and put his arms around her just as Raven blurted, “He was my fucking _drug dealer_. Az is an asshole and a thug. Our relationship basically consisted of him giving me discounts on drugs if I would have sex with him.” The she started sobbing for real, great loud sounds that ripped Charles’ heart out a little more each moment. 

Charles just held her. His heart ached. Even if she should have done something differently, he couldn’t be upset with Raven when she was in so much pain.

“You can’t tell Erik,” she gasped suddenly. “Charles, it would break his heart.”

Charles thought about how Erik had looked down at Kurt, that night a few weeks ago, how he couldn’t stop talking about his son. He closed his eyes. Even if Erik wouldn’t have married Raven if he had known that the baby wasn’t his six months before, that had all changed now. Raven was right; Erik couldn’t know. It would break his heart.

**

Charles left Raven a few minutes before Erik would be arriving. She was still crying on and off when he left, both about Charles’ planned move to Sydney and about the baby, and he hated himself a little for leaving when he did but he just couldn’t see Erik. Not then, at that moment. He just couldn’t face him. 

And maybe he was hoping Raven would tell Erik at least about him moving to Sydney, so Charles wouldn’t have to.

He left on foot, even though he was parked nearby, just needing to walk, wanting to clear his head, when he realized he was headed to the bar. The closest bar, the one where Raven and Erik had announced their engagement, the bar Erik had gotten drunk at with him a few months before. 

He thought it was probably the bar Raven and Erik were hanging out at the night they’d first had sex, too. 

He didn’t want to go to the bar. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and patted down his pockets for his cell phone to call a cab. A feeling of dread filled him when in the upper breast pocket of his coat he found the flask of whiskey that he’d brought to the wedding. He pulled it out of his pocket and heard the liquid swish. It felt like a sign.

_But I don’t believe in signs,_ Charles told himself, as his traitorous arm tipped the flask into his mouth until there was no more liquid in it. It was a large gulp of whiskey, at least a shot’s worth.

Feeling an uncharacteristic surge of rage, at the whiskey, at Raven, _at himself_ , he threw the empty flask at a streetlight. It missed its mark and fell back down to hit him in the face. 

For some reason, Charles found that fucking hilarious. 

**

Erik came home from work to find Raven crying in the dim living room, the apartment lit only by the twilight sky outside, since the sun had recently set. Kurt was wailing in the other room. 

“Raven!” Erik rushed in. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

She nodded. “Will you please check on the baby?” she whispered. 

His heart thudding, Erik ran to the baby’s crib and found to his great relief that the only problem appeared to be a dirty diaper. He changed it and brought a much happier Kurt into the living room with him where Raven was still hiccuping and crying intermittently. 

“Please, Raven, what’s wrong?” Erik asked gently. 

“Charles,” she said, before the name sent her into tears again. 

Erik inhaled sharply. “Is he okay?” 

“He’s moving to Sydney!”

“Sydney, Australia?”

“Yes!”

Erik stood stunned. He sat down and wrapped his arms around his crying wife. He instinctively knew why Charles was doing this. But god, he needed Charles. He loved Charles. He knew this situation was frustrating for Charles, but fucking _Sydney_? That wasn’t a weekend trip.

“He said I have my own family now. He said he’ll be fine. But, Erik, Charles has never been good at making friends. He gets so lonely, and when he’s lonely he drinks. It could get really bad. He needs me. He needs us!”

“I will talk to him,” Erik said softly. He texted Charles many times over the next several hours, but did not get a response.

**

“What would you do,” Charles said conversationally to the bouncer, “If you wanted to find a guy and all you had was a nickname and one gen--genet--gene--he has black hair,” Charles finished awkwardly. 

The bouncer seemed to take his question seriously, to Charles’ surprise. “I think I would hire a private investigator.”

“Oh really?” Charles hadn’t actually been expecting an answer, but that one sounded lovely. “I ‘spose I could google for one of those.” Since googling “Az black hair” hadn’t been that effective. 

“No need,” the bouncer said smugly. “I’m a private investigator. See, I’ve even got my license on me.” 

Charles had no idea what a legitimate private investigator’s license looked like but he obligingly looked at what the man showed him. “Logan Howlett,” Charles read aloud. He looked up. “But I thought you were a bouncer.” 

“This is a side gig,” The man said with a shrug. “Investigative work ain’t exactly regular.”

“Well, alright.” Charles opened his wallet. “How much to retain you? I mean your services? Although…” Charles eyes travelled thoughtfully down the man’s muscled torso. 

Logan snorted a laugh. “No offense, bub, but you ain’t my type. I’m happy to take your money though. Three hundred ought to be enough to start me off.”

Charles obligingly peeled three hundred-dollar bills off the stack in his money clip and handed them to the bouncer. “There. So. What we were talking about?”

Logan had a huge smartphone in his hand and he appeared to be taking notes. “What do you know about the guy?”

“Oh! The guy, right. His name is Az, and he has black hair. That’s all I know.” Charles paused. “Wait. And he may or may not have been dating Ravier Xavier. Er, Raven Lehnsherr, now. She got married. I love her husband.” Charles burst into laughter at his own words. “That’s really funny, you just don’t know why,” he informed Logan, who seemed less than amused.

“And what do you want me to find out about this guy?”

“Contact information,” Charles said firmly. “Definitely address, and phone number if possible.”

**

It was after midnight when the doorbell rang. Erik didn’t have to wonder who it would be. 

“I got your texts,” Charles said in a too-loud voice, as he stepped inside, holding up his phone. “But my battery died, so I just thought I’d come over.” He reeked of beer and whiskey.

“Hi Charles,” Erik said quietly. “Would you keep it down, please? Raven and the baby are sleeping.”

“Sorry!” Charles mimed a zipper across his lips, then grinned at Erik.

Erik rubbed his hand across his face. “Can I get you some water?”

Charles’ silly grin slowly faded from his face. “You’re upset that I’m drunk.”

“Among other things, yes.” Erik took Charles’ arm and led him to the sofa, then went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. Charles gulped it. Erik sat down next to Charles and exhaled, preparing for the conversation.

“So. You’re planning on moving to Sydney?”

“Well, word travels fast when one is sleeping with the town gossip!” Charles said jocularly and then added, “Tha’s not really fair, Raven isn’ a gossip.”

_And I’m not really sleeping with her,_ Erik wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

“Raven doesn’t want you to go,” Erik said quietly. “And I don’t want you to, either, but that goes without saying.”

“Does it?” Charles asked. He was looking Erik in the eye, questioningly, and Erik realized that he wasn’t quite as drunk as he had been acting when he first came in. 

“Charles,” he said slowly, “I think you know I love you.”

Charles squeezed his eyes shut as if hearing the words was physically painful for him. “Erik.”

Erik moved closer. “I don’t want you to move away. I know this is hard, but it won’t be this way forever.”

“Says every man who won’t leave his wife for his lover,” Charles said, looking down. “And _your_ wife happens to be my sister. Even if you mean what you say--it will hurt her. I won’t lose her, Erik. I can’t.”

“How is moving to Sydney not losing her?” Erik said, frustrated. 

“Well, if that’s how you see it, I’d rather lose her than--do that to her. I can’t ruin her marriage, I can’t be that person. Not to anyone, frankly, and certainly not to my sister.”

Erik closed his eyes. He thought hard about telling Charles the truth about him and Raven, except it might just make Charles more upset. “You are impossible.”

“No, I’ve just come to a conclusion that you are not willing to accept.”

“Maybe you don’t have all the facts,” Erik said, then immediately wished he hadn’t. Charles was looking at him with a strange expression on his face. 

“What do you mean by that?” The look on Charles’ face was--almost hopeful?

“Nothing,” Erik said, his eyes closed, shaking his head. But Charles knew him too well, and he pressed the issue.

“Is there something that I should know? About you and Raven? Or Kurt?”

Erik frowned. “About Kurt? No.”

“Oh.” Charles seemed relieved. 

Relieved. Why would he be relieved?

Charles inhaled deeply. He looked at the front door, and then back at Erik. Almost reluctantly, he asked, “Are there any more of those cigarettes?”

Erik gave him a mildly disapproving look. “If there are, they are on the balcony still.” Charles walked out onto the balcony and looked around for the pack of cigarettes. He found them just as Erik was coming out onto the balcony, silently handing Charles the same army surplus jacket he’d worn last time. Charles gave him a warm smile and then pulled a cigarette out of the pack.

“Wait,” Erik said. “Before you smoke.” He walked over to Charles and stood facing him, inches away. Charles sucked in his breath and looked at Erik with wide eyes. Erik slowly lifted his hands to either side of Charles’ face and tilted his face up slightly. He looked at Charles’ lips, telegraphing his intention, even though Charles really didn’t believe it until Erik’s lips were pressed to his. He kissed back instinctively, sliding his tongue to touch Erik’s, even though his mind was reeling.

Erik pulled back a moment later, looking into Charles’ eyes, very satisfied. “There. Now you can smoke.”

Charles stood there, dumbstruck, the unlit cigarette dangling from his fingers. “What the fuck was that?”

Erik sat down in a patio chair. “Well, I apparently kissed you once before, but I don’t remember that. I wanted to remember this one.”

“But you’re married, Erik! I thought we--” Charles made a noise of frustration. 

“It was just a kiss, Charles.” Erik said indulgently.

“ _Just_ a kiss, _just_ a cuddle, _just_ a footrub...it’s a slippery slope, Erik! This is _exactly_ why I have to leave. I don’t want to wake up one morning to find my dick inside you!”

Erik was amused despite himself. “I rather thought it would be the other way around.”

Charles actually _loved_ bottoming, but he usually topped because it required a lot of trust on his part to be comfortable bottoming, so he had done it only a few times in his life. But he trusted Erik. He was sure Erik would have plenty of patience…

Charles realized he was staring into Erik’s eyes and fantasizing about being fucked by him.

He looked away and lit the cigarette with hands that were shaking for a reason other than cold and sucked on it for all he was worth. 

The baby monitor in Erik’s hand made a noise. Erik immediately went inside. “Don’t leave,” he told Charles sternly. 

Charles sighed and finished his cigarette alone on the balcony. Then he went inside and washed his hands. He thought about leaving despite Erik’s demand that he not, but he really was too tired to make that kind of decision, so he flopped down on the couch, lying across it, and waited for Erik to come back from changing the baby. 

Erik walked through, shirtless. “Do you see a basket of clean clothes anywhere? Kurt just--” he broke off when he saw Charles’ red face. “Oh. Right.” He looked down at himself and then smirked at Charles. He found a shirt in the hamper and put it on. “I’ll be right back,” he told Charles.

Charles should have left right then, he would think later. 

**

Charles woke up a little while later, lying on his side on the couch. He found himself looking at Erik, who was lying on the floor, parallel to him, with his head propped up on his elbow, watching Charles. His pupils were huge in the dim lighting.

“Oh. Hello,” said Charles dumbly. “I fell asleep. What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” said Erik softly. “What were you dreaming about?”

“I don’t think I was dreaming,” Charles answered, yawning. Erik had put a blanket over him. He felt cozy. 

Erik was quiet for a moment, just gazing at him. Then he asked, “Do you really want to go to Sydney?”

Charles rolled onto his back and heaved a big sigh. He didn’t feel like he was fully awake, still. “No. Not really. Not in my ideal world.”

“What’s your ideal world?”

“Oh, well, I do have a few favorite fantasies.”

Charles could _hear_ Erik smile. “Tell me your fantasies.”

“They’re not sexual fantasies, Erik,” he said, before amending, “Well, they don’t _start_ as sexual fantasies.”

He had to turn his head so he could watch Erik laugh. He smiled, feeling drowsy and content, the real world and it’s problems a million miles away. Here, in this bubble, it was just him and Erik.

“Tell me anyway.” Erik’s voice was a rich baritone lullaby.

Charles rolled back onto his back and closed his eyes. He spoke dreamily. “Oh, let’s see...my favorite one, recently, is that Kurt’s real father contacts Raven and he’s made a huge change in his life, and has a good job, and is desperately in love with her. And then she leaves you for him, and of course you’re sad, but I cheer you up very quickly, and then…” Charles smiled. “Well, then it gets sexual, come to think of it.”

Erik was very quiet and Charles thought he might have fallen asleep. “You still there?” he asked softly, with a smile in his voice.

“What do you mean ‘Kurt’s real father’?” The tone of Erik’s voice had completely changed. 

“What?” Charles thought for a moment that he might be having a nightmare. He turned to look at Erik and Erik was sitting up, staring at Charles, waiting.

“I mean--I just meant--her ex…it’s just a fantasy,” Charles said desperately. 

Erik put his hand on his forehead as the realization hit him. His eyes started moving back and forth and then he pressed them shut and shook his head rapidly. He put his face in his hands. Charles sat up in alarm. 

“No,” Erik said, “No, no, _no_!”

Charles reached out his arm to Erik and Erik pushed it away. “How long has she known?”

Charles didn’t want to confirm. He wanted to take it all back, tell Erik that it was his subconscious desires and not reality. 

But he couldn’t lie to Erik, especially not when the truth was so plainly obvious to anyone with the remotest knowledge of genetics.

“ _How long?_ ” Erik yelled into his hands.

“She just found out today. She didn’t know. She didn’t know, Erik. She didn’t know when she married you.” Charles could not bring himself to throw his sister under the bus by admitting there was doubt. 

“What do you mean, ‘she found out?’”

Charles swallowed. God, why hadn’t he left earlier, after his cigarette? “I told her.”

Erik stared at him, a hard, stony glare that Charles hadn’t ever been the recipient of. He shrank back a little. “And how do you know?”

“Because I’m a geneticist,” Charles said in a small voice, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t see Erik _looking_ at him that way. “He has black hair. It’s impossible for you and Raven to have had him.”

“Lorna has black hair,” Erik said slowly. 

“Yes, but so does her mother.” Charles said the information like it was a fact. He opened his eyes and met Erik’s gaze. Erik’s brow was furrowed. 

“You’ve never met her.”

Charles shook his head. “I didn’t need to, Erik. Raven’s hair color and yours are both caused by recessive genes. Black hair is a dominant gene; if it’s present, it dominates. Two black-haired people can have a blond or red-haired child, but the same is not true of two fair-haired people.” Charles tried to explain as simply and as gently as he could. 

Erik went to the balcony. Charles followed him hesitantly and shut the balcony door behind him. “Fuck,” Erik said. “Fuck!” He had his head buried in the crook of his elbow and resting on the balcony railing. He slammed the balcony railing with his fist a few times. “Fuck!” he yelled out into the city. 

And then he started sobbing, falling to his knees with his elbow still on the railing. “My son,” he said between gasps of air. ‘My little boy.”

Charles knelt next to him and held him. He was crying too, silently, wishing away Erik’s pain. Erik turned to him and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in Charles’s shoulder, still crying. Then suddenly he stopped. He stiffened, stood up and stepped away from Charles. 

“Charles,” Erik said slowly, “Did you tell me this because you thought this would make me leave Raven to be with you?”

“No,” gasped Charles immediately, because it was his worst fear, that Erik would think that. He slowly got to his feet. “No, God no, Erik. Not at all. In fact, I’ve hired a private investigator to find the real father, so that--”

“ _What?_ ”

Charles looked startled and confused by Erik’s vehemence. “I want to find him, so I can--”

“Fuck you!” Erik yelled, taking a step towards Charles, who backed up and hit the closed balcony door with his back. “Kurt is _my son_ , I’m not going to let some fucking scumbag drug-dealer take away my boy!” Erik’s grief had turned to a vicious anger. Charles had never seen him like this before. 

“No, Erik, God, no, let me explain--”

“Get out,” Erik snapped, spittle flying out of his mouth. “Get the fuck out of here, move to Australia, I don’t fucking care, just go!”

Every word hurt Charles more. He knew Erik had misunderstood what he was trying to say, and he knew that Erik was hurting. But--wasn’t this for the best? Ripping off the bandaid cleanly? Now he could move to Australia and let Raven and Erik and Kurt have the life they deserved, without him hanging around to pine after someone he was never going to have. And, Charles would make sure that scumbag Az would never bother them. Swallowing back his tears, Charles left as quickly as he could.


	9. The Plan

The Plan

Erik brooded for a long time after Charles left that night. He couldn’t even begin to think of sleeping; instead, he paced. When he heard the alarm go off for Kurt’s 4:00am feeding, he walked into Raven’s room. She was sitting in the rocking chair that had been moved into the room for that purpose, the dim glow of the light-up mobile above Kurt’s crib the only light in the room. He stood in the doorway for a moment, watching her, then came in and sat on the bed facing her. She smiled at him, hesitantly. 

“Did I hear you talking to Charles earlier?”

He nodded, looking at her. His face was unreadable. She swallowed.

“I guess from the yelling that you couldn’t talk him out of moving?” She was guessing, even though in the pit of her stomach she feared worse than that.

He just looked at her for a moment, expressionlessly, then said, his eyes flicking to Kurt and then back to Raven’s face, “Charles told me.”

Raven’s eyes got wide and scared. Erik didn’t say anything else, and after a moment Raven said, “I didn’t know, Erik, I swear I didn’t know--”

“Yeah, he told me that too.” Erik lay back on Raven’s bed, staring up at the ceiling. “We should talk to an attorney.”

Erik’s voice was even. Raven closed her eyes and felt fat tears sliding down her face. He wanted a divorce. Her worst nightmare. Why the _fuck_ had Charles told Erik?

“I don’t know enough about New York law to know if I have full parental rights, so if adoption is required or advisable I want to know right away, ” Erik continued. Raven nodded automatically and then frowned. 

“So you want to--adopt Kurt? You want to take him away from me?” her voice rose in pitch on the last words. Something didn’t make sense. 

Erik frowned and turned his head to look at her. “What? No, of course not. I want to make sure nobody can take him away from _us_.” 

“You’re not--mad? You don’t want a divorce?”

He rolled over on his side with his head propped up on his elbow, looking at her consideringly. “A divorce? No. No, I don’t. And I should be mad...I guess I should be. But I’m not. Well, not at you.”

Relief flooded through Raven to hear Erik say so declaratively that he didn’t want a divorce. She was still confused though. “Who are you mad at, if not me?”

“Charles,” he said, with a stony look on his face. “He’s looking for the baby’s father for some reason.”

“What? Why?” asked Raven, genuinely baffled.

Erik looked uncomfortable. He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it before he started again. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense. He wouldn’t want anyone to take Kurt away.”

“Of course not!” Raven said, shocked at the very idea. “Anyway, the guy he’s looking for...Az would run like hell the opposite direction if he thought there was any way that he had fathered a child.”

Erik looked at her, thinking. “I still want to talk to an attorney. I don’t want to take the chance.”

Raven nodded. “I still don’t--” She sensed she was playing with fire, but she didn’t understand. “How--how are you not mad at me? How come you don’t hate me?”

“I should be,” he repeated. “I should be mad at you.” Raven was done feeding the baby and moved him up to burp him. He gazed into space for a moment, his eyes unfocused. “But...the last time Charles was here, a few weeks ago, he said something that made me think. He said that I was lucky because he would never accidentally conceive a child. And thing is...that sort of goes for me, too. I thought it was an absolute fluke when you got pregnant. And since I’ve also, in my heart of hearts, sort of always wanted that stereotypical family, with a mom, and dad, and 2.5 kids…” He sighed. 

Raven brought the baby to the bed and nudged Erik to move over. He scooted to the side, still lying on his back, and she laid down the now-sleeping Kurt in the middle of the bed and lay down next to him, on her side, her head propped up and looking at Erik. 

“Emma had me dead to rights,” he said after a moment. “About being gay, and about my idealized family. She always has. I’m not going to accidentally conceive a baby. I mean,” he chuckled, “Unless I start doing a hell of a lot of coke again.”

“There’s always Viagra,” Raven said, with a slight smile.

“Yeah, and having a whole bunch of the kind of sex I’m really not interested in having sounds awesome,” he said pointedly, glancing at her face.

She made a moue. “Touché.”

“So…” Erik shook his head as if he really couldn’t believe what he was saying. He laughed a little. “I really should be thanking you, for telling me I got you pregnant. I’ve always wanted a son, but it wasn’t something I was going to try to do without a partner.”

Raven felt a lump in her throat. “Jesus, Erik. You are incredible. I don’t deserve--” she started crying again. 

“Hey.” Erik reached his hand out, over the baby’s head, to stroke her hair. He had an affectionate smile on his face. “You sure have been crying a lot recently.”

Raven choked out a laugh, surprised at his words. “I know!” she said, half-laughing, half-crying. “I think I’ve cried more this month than I have ever before in my life. Maybe it’s some post-partum thing.”

“Maybe.” Erik studied her for a moment and he had a sudden certainty that it was time, and that he needed to tell her. He rolled up onto his side, head propped up on his elbow, mirroring her position. “Raven. I am pretty angry with Charles right now, I don’t understand why he wants to contact Az, but despite that...I think it’s time I told you.” He took a deep breath and forced himself to look her in the eye. “I am in love with Charles.”

Raven did not react the way Erik expected. She didn’t cry. She didn’t look surprised. She smiled, even, a little. “So, you mean, you want to have sex with him.”

“No, I’m mean I’m in love with him,” Erik clarified, not sure why he had to. Maybe Raven was in denial? “ _And_ I want to have sex with him.”

“You haven’t...have you?” She still seemed remarkably not upset, and the question was more one of confirmation. 

“No.” Erik rolled over onto his back and shook his head. He put the balls of his hands over his hands over his eyes. “But I want to. God, do I want to.”

Raven didn’t respond.

“We’ve kissed,” he confessed, pulling his hands off his face. He felt like he might be digging a dangerous pit for himself, but he had just been holding it in for so long that it was almost a relief to finally say it. “Once. Well, twice. And we sort of--um, cuddled together once, and--”

“Yeah, I know about that,” Raven said, sounding distracted. “Erik, does Kurt look a little blue to you?”

“What?” Erik sat straight up and looked at his son. Kurt did look bluish. Erik immediately put his face down to the baby. “He’s breathing...but it seems, I don’t know, fast? What do you think?”

Raven put her head down and listened, then pulled back to look at the baby. She got up to flip the light on, which made the baby screw up his face in displeasure. “He still looks kind of blue,” she said, anxiously. She looked up at Erik. “I think we call should call 911.” 

**

The 911 dispatch didn’t have to hear many of Kurt’s symptoms before they told them they were sending an ambulance. Erik had to drive separately because there was only room in the back of the ambulance for one other person, so Raven rode in there with Kurt. When Erik arrived at the hospital, he ran around yelling at the staff until he found someone who could direct him to where Kurt was. The room was crowded with people in scrubs, people so crowded around Kurt that Erik could barely see his son. He saw Raven, pressed against the wall to his right, with her hands clasped in front of her mouth. He sidled over to her. 

“The doctor says he has a tiny hole in heart,” Raven said immediately to Erik. “It’s called a PDA.” 

“Is he going to be okay?” he asked immediately. 

She nodded. Her eyes were swollen from crying. “They said he will, but that it’s good we brought him in when we did. The doctor said he will talk to both of us after they’ve stabilized him.”

After a few hours, Kurt was a much better color, sleeping peacefully. Erik felt horribly guilty that he’d had to snap his head up several times to stay awake. Around 8am, Erik and Raven finally got to have a real conversation with a doctor about what was happening to Kurt. As it happened, the doctor they spoke to was the same one who had been on-call the night Raven had her baby, Dr. McCoy.

“It’s called a Patent Ductus Arteriosus,” he explained to the exhausted couple. Raven at least had gotten a few hours sleep, but Erik hadn’t slept since the night before. “Or PDA, since that’s a mouthful. Kurt has a tiny hole in his heart, and it means that he his blood wasn’t getting enough oxygen; that’s why he looked blue. It’s something we always look for in premature babies, since there is a much higher incidence of it when babies are born at less than full-term. This time...we must have missed it.”

“You _must have missed it_?” Erik hissed. “What kind of hospital is this?”

The doctor looked at Erik with tired compassion. “I know you’re scared, Mr. Lehnsherr. I assure you that Kurt’s life is not in danger, although it is good that you brought him here right away. We’ve treated the problem and Kurt is doing very well right now. We want to keep him here for observation for the next 36 hours or so, though, to be on the safe side.”

“Is this because I did coke when I was pregnant with him? Before I knew?” Raven blurted out. It was something that had occurred to her after Charles told her the Erik wasn’t Kurt’s biological father.

Erik turned his head to look at Raven in horror. She raised her eyebrows at him. “When we--?” she said, prompting his memory. Erik stared at her a moment and then recalled that she would have already been pregnant when he and Raven had done coke and then had sex. Right. Oh god.

The doctor blinked. “Uh, well. You just did it the one time?”

Raven nodded, biting her lip.

“It’s very unlikely to have done the baby harm,” he said gently, to both Erik and Raven’s obvious great relief. “But, I, uh, wouldn’t make a habit of it.”

Erik narrowed his eyes at the doctor. 

“Anyway,” Dr. McCoy said briskly, stepping coincidentally just out of Erik’s reach, “I’m sure you remember where the cafeteria is. You don’t both have to stay the whole time, but knowing how new parents are, I imagine you’ll be stuck here for a while.”

**

They both tried to sleep, but in the middle of the day in the uncomfortable hospital chairs it was nearly impossible. Raven dozed fitfully, with her head on Erik’s shoulder. He was nearly delirious with sleep and emotionally exhausted and he missed Charles terribly in that moment. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel angry at Charles anymore about trying to find Az, since ultimately, Charles was probably trying to do something that he thought would be good for Erik and Raven, in his own misguided way. A swell of affection for Charles filled Erik at that thought and it culminated in leaving a lump in his throat. But even as he had that thought, he recognized: this is where I need to be. With Raven, and my son. Although he loved Charles, Charles moving to Sydney was the right thing for all of them. Erik would get over Charles, in time. 

Around 8pm, while Erik and Raven were having dinner in a relatively quiet corner of the hospital cafeteria, Erik got a call on his cell phone from a blocked number. A gravelly voice asked, “Uh, may I, uh, speak to Erik Lehnsherr?”

“This is Erik Lehnsherr,” Erik said with a frown. His heart for some reason started beating faster. 

“Uh, yeah. Okay. So I need to tell you that Azazel Romanov is dead.”

Erik frowned deeper. “Are you sure you have the right number?”

“Well, you’re Erik Lehnsherr, ain’t ya?”

“Yes, but I don’t--.” Erik glanced at Raven who was paying rapt attention to his call. He covered the mouthpiece to ask her a question. “Do you know anyone named Azazel Romanov?”

Her eyes got big. “Is he on the phone?” She hissed.

“No, uh--” he went back to the phone call. “--give me one second, please.” He covered the mouthpiece again. “Some guy is calling me to tell me that this--Azazel something--is dead.”

Raven turned white as a sheet. “Oh my god,” she whispered. “He wouldn’t.”

“Raven,” Erik said impatiently. “Who is he?”

“He’s...Kurt’s…” She swallowed. “Az. That’s Az’s full name.”

“Oh.” Erik wondered for a fleeting moment if Raven had cared more about Az than she had previously indicated, and then his eyes widened as he realized what her reaction actually signified, because it was what he suddenly wondered: _Had Charles hired someone to kill Az?_

“So, anyway,” the guy on the phone said pointedly, “I also have some documentation to send you--”

“I don’t want any documentation,” Erik said quickly, his eyes darting around the cafeteria. Was somebody listening to the call? Had Charles _really_ had a guy killed so that Erik didn’t need to worry about anyone taking Kurt away from him?

The guy on the phone seemed a little put-out by Erik’s response. “Okay, have it your way, pal. I guess I’ll just send these docs to, um, Charles Xavier.”

Erik closed his eyes. The man might as well have just confirmed Erik’s fear. 

He disconnected the call and put his face in his hands. 

“Charles wouldn’t do that,” Raven whispered. “Erik, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t _have somebody killed._ ” She didn’t even dare to whisper the last three words, mouthing them to Erik instead. 

Erik moved his hands down his face to his cover his mouth for a moment while he looked at Raven consideringly. “I don’t think he would either, Raven, but is there any other explanation?”

“What did the guy on the phone sound like? Did he give you his name?”

“He sounded like a thug,” Erik said without hesitation. “And no, he didn’t give me his name. The only names he mentioned were Azazel Whatever and Charles Xavier.” Erik shook his head. “Maybe it’s not a coincidence that Charles is leaving the country.”

Raven sat up a little straighter in her seat as if she had just remembered something. “Oh my god, Erik, Charles is leaving the country _tomorrow._ ”

Tomorrow? Erik’s gut twisted painfully. “He leaving _tomorrow_? Oh, god. I won’t--” Erik looked around the cafeteria. Kurt would be there for another 24 hours, at least. “I won’t get to apologize. Or say goodbye.” 

He’d been having fantasies that very day--as he sat on the uncomfortable hospital chairs, going to a happy place in his mind--of how he and Charles would say goodbye. Maybe Raven would be okay with him having sex with her brother, once; she hadn’t seemed all that upset about the idea that Erik was in love with him, and she had told him before that he could have sex with other people...But. Charles was leaving tomorrow, and Erik had to be at the hospital with Kurt and Raven. He’d made his choice. 

Raven looked at Erik like he’d suddenly grown another head. “Say goodbye? What the fuck are you talking about? You have to stop him!”

“Raven,” Erik said, exhausted. When she glared at him, he just shook his head. “Charles is right. We talked for a long time about his reasons for going, last night. He’ll be okay, Raven. He’s--stronger than you give him credit for. He’s going to do great in Sydney. I’m sure he will meet someone special soon, someone who--” Erik was mortified to feel that he was beginning to cry, here underneath the stupid fluorescent lights of the hospital cafeteria. With difficulty he swallowed back the lump in his throat, and took a couple deep breaths. “I’m not going to stop him.”

Raven stared at him with more anger than he ever remembered seeing in her. She stood up. “I thought you were in _love_ with him,” She shouted accusingly.

The hospital cafeteria immediately fell completely silent and every eye in the room swivelled to their table. Raven didn’t notice. She was facing Erik with her fists clenched at her sides. Erik just looked up at her. He had nothing to say. 

Raven hit the table with her fist. “Fuck, Erik, _he’s my brother._ If you won’t stop him leaving for yourself, then at least do it for me, you selfish prick!” She stormed out of the cafeteria, angrily wiping at the tears that were starting to spill down her face.

Erik felt his face flushing as a few quiet gasps sounded around the room. He stood with careful dignity and held his head high, not making eye contact with anyone as he left in the opposite direction of Raven.

**

Raven paced just outside the hospital entryway on a small patch of grass. Fuck. She needed to fix this. She needed to get those two idiots someplace they couldn’t leave until Charles had been convinced not to move to Sydney. Someplace they couldn’t get out of. 

Even if Charles had had Az murdered, which she was _sure_ he hadn’t. Not Charles. He wouldn’t do that.

A very ill-conceived, possibly unethical plan began to weave itself in her mind. She stopped pacing. Her mouth opened as she thought about it more. This could work. _This could work_. “Runs in the family,” she said out loud to nobody as she cackled. 

She called Charles first. 

“Raven. How are you?” He sounded a little sad, but also happy to hear from her. 

“I’m, uh. Well,” Raven decided to tell the truth about where she was. “Actually, Erik and I are at the hospital with Kurt. Apparently he has a hole in his heart.”

“Oh my god,” Charles exclaimed. “That’s--serious, right? It sounds serious!”

“Yeah, it is,” Raven agreed, “It was pretty scary at first but they said he’s going to be okay. They are keeping him here for another 24 hours for observation, though.”

“Should I come there?”

Raven considered. No, her plan was better. “No. Although, I would like to see you tomorrow.”

“Oh--should I come by the hospital tomorrow morning, then? I do need to be at the airport by 1pm.”

1pm? Crap. “Well, um, actually I’ll be working tomorrow morning. At Frost Massage.” She cursed inwardly as she realized her mistake--she shouldn’t have told him that they would be keeping Kurt quite that long.

She could hear Charles frowning over the phone. “Working? Don’t you have another week of maternity leave?”

“Um, well,” Raven said, thinking quickly. “Emma needed someone to cover a masseuse who is out sick.”

“And she expects you to _leave your sick infant son’s side_ to come and _work_? While you are still technically supposed to be maternity leave?”

Raven told Charles something he would believe, with a silent apology to Emma for throwing her under the bus. “Well, she’s a bitch.”

Charles sighed. “She really is. You should quit.”

Raven sensed she was close. “I’m thinking I probably will, but I did commit to this shift. Will you please come to Frost Massage tomorrow morning to say goodbye to me? Before you leave town, you know, forever?” Raven held her breath.

“Of course, Raven,” Charles said, fondly. “I will be there around eleven o’clock tomorrow morning.”

**

Raven went to check on Kurt. He was doing fine. Nothing had changed. She gazed at her baby boy and wondered if after all her machinations he would still have a father. Nevermind. She was doing the right thing. 

She looked around for Erik and found him fast asleep in a hospital chair, his head pressed against the wall. “Perfect,” she whispered, and went outside to make another call. Her phone was at 7% battery. She hoped that would be enough.

**

“Lorna,” said Raven, “I need you to do me a big favor. Well, it’s more for your Dad than for me.”

“Okay,” Lorna said slowly. “What’s up?”

“Well,” Raven said and then just decided to say it. “You might want to brace yourself. Erik is in love with Charles.”

“I kinda thought he might be,” Lorna said thoughtfully, to Raven’s surprise. “But--are you okay with that, Raven?”

“Uh, well.” Raven laughed a little. “It’s complicated--” her eyes got wide as she saw Erik walking across the grass towards her. “Okay, I have to make this fast,” she said into the phone, speaking quickly but clearly. “I need to you to call your dad tomorrow morning around 9am and get him to come to Frost Massage.”

“What? How do I do that?”

“Make something up!” Raven hissed into her phone and disconnected the call before Lorna could respond. 

Erik was rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he approached her, clutching a cup of coffee. “Was that Charles?”

“Uh, no,” Raven said, and guiltily realized that she hadn’t even told Lorna where she was or what was happening with Kurt. “It was Lorna.”

“Oh good.” Erik relaxed. “I wanted to call her but my phone battery is dead.”

It was? Uh-oh. Raven needed his phone to be working at 9am tomorrow. “I’ll go buy a charger from the gift shop,” she said. 

“Good idea,” he said. “Have you talked to Charles?”

“Yes, I did,” she said, honestly. “I told him what was happening.”

Erik nodded. “Good. I was thinking about giving him a call, before he leaves tomorrow. Maybe after my phone is charged.” 

No! That wasn’t a good idea. Charles might say something about Raven supposedly having to work tomorrow. “He doesn’t want to talk to you,” Raven blurted. 

“Oh.” Erik looked down. He drank the rest of his coffee and made a face at the taste, then crushed the styrofoam cup in his hand. “I guess I deserve that.”

He walked away to find a trash can. Raven hit her nearly-dead phone against her head in frustration. Hurting Erik again had not been part of the plan. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

**

After she spent a few hours watching her sleeping son, Raven remembered she had one more call to make, and it was the part of her plan that she was the most nervous about. She had bought a phone charger and her phone was charged again, so she told Erik she was going to use the bathroom and went to call Emma instead. 

“Raven? Is everything okay?”

Raven wondered why Emma would answer the phone that way and then realized it was past midnight. “Uh, well, no, not really.” Might as well get some sympathy points by telling the truth. “Kurt has a heart problem they didn’t catch when he was born--a hole in his heart, actually.”

“That’s terrible,” said Emma. “Is there anything I can do?” Raven heard some rustling and she realized Emma might actually have been asleep when she called. 

“Well,” Raven sighed, and she could think of no other way to say it, “You could put some people in the Brig for me.”

Emma laughed. “That’s funny, sugar. Who’s giving you trouble?”

“My husband and my brother,” Raven answered. “I’m actually not kidding, Emma.”

“Ah. Ahahaha. Well, I’m sure you know I can’t use the Brig anymore? I was sued for false imprisonment, Raven.”

“I will reimburse you for any costs you incur,” Raven said through gritted teeth. 

There was silence for a moment. Then Emma spoke carefully. “Raven, if you are serious, it could get quite expensive. The lawsuit with your brother--” Emma abruptly stopped talking. 

“What lawsuit with my brother?” Raven said curiously. 

“Nothing, nothing at all. I misspoke.” But Emma sounded a little panicked. “I meant--”

“Did my brother sue you? Or did you sue him?” Raven wondered how it could have escaped her notice that there had been a lawsuit between her boss and her brother? Although it did help explain all the animosity.

“No, nothing like that,” Emma said, too quickly. “We, um, I mean, I meant another lawsuit.”

Emma was scrambling. Raven sensed an advantage and pressed it. “Does this have to do with the ‘funny story’ about how you met Charles that I still haven’t heard? The thing that made you crack up at my wedding?”

Emma laughed nervously, like there was a half a million dollars on the line. “Raven, I just haven’t had a chance to tell you that story yet. You are leaping to conclusions, sugar.”

Raven didn’t think she was. “I can always double check with my attorney, Armando Munoz. He’s also Charles’ attorney, I’m sure he’d--”

“Okay!” Emma cried. “Okay, Raven, okay, don’t call your attorney. Please.”

“Why not, Emma?” Raven peeked around the corner to make sure Erik wasn’t coming. It didn’t look like he was. 

Emma didn’t say anything. 

“Why not, Emma?” Raven pressed. “Armando’s number is in my phone, you know.” She felt like a wild animal, biting the jugular. And she kind of liked it.

Emma sighed hugely. “There’s a nondisclosure agreement,” she said, with obvious reluctance. “If you call your attorney to even ask about a lawsuit, I will owe your brother five hundred thousand dollars.”

Raven breathed in deeply. She had leverage. Excellent. “Emma, I really doubt that Charles will enforce that clause if you do what I am asking you to do tomorrow morning.”

Silence for a moment. “I’m listening,” Emma said tersely.

“Erik are Charles are coming to Frost Massage tomorrow, separately. Put them each in the Brig. Erik will think he’s there for Lorna and Charles will think he’s there for me. Don’t let them out until I tell you it’s okay.”

“And if your brother does enforce the non-disclosure clause? And/or, possibly, sues me for false imprisonment?”

“I will reimburse you for any costs you incur,” Raven repeated emphatically. “Emma, I have a two million dollar trust that I’ve never touched.”

“Raven,” Emma said carefully. “Even if that’s true--and I _will_ require a bank statement--two million may just barely cover what I could get sued for. You wouldn’t have anything left over. Is whatever you’re trying to accomplish worth that?”

Raven laughed. “What you don’t understand, Emma,” she said, “is that my ‘Dad’ is _loaded._ ”

**

Raven had her and Erik’s accountant Moira’s number already in her phone, too, so fortunately providing Emma the proof of funds she wanted as pretty easy, although she did have to wait til 8am to call Moira. Emma texted back confirm when she received it.

Raven was too wound tight about everything, including Kurt, to sleep. She had checked on him at least a dozen times over the course of the night, in between phone calls, and had spent several hours-long stretches by his side--as had Erik. But where she was wired to the point of near-hysteria, Erik was listless and not in the mood to talk. 

“Hey,” she said to him gently, right after she had gotten off the phone with Moira. “Do you want to go home for a bit? Maybe shower, have something to eat that’s not cafeteria food?”

He shook his head dully. “I need to be here for Kurt.”

“Only one of us really needs to be here,” she said persuasively. 

“You can go if you want,” he said, not looking at her. “I’ll be here.”

Raven nodded and patted him on the back. She had been too distracted to call Lorna back and give her more details, so she hoped Lorna had something good. 

**

Erik’s phone rang at 9:02am. Raven only heard his side of the conversation.

“Hi honey.” Erik listened for a moment and his eyes widened and he stared at Raven with sightless eyes until anger started to cross his features. “What the--” He listened for a long while, several minutes in fact, his face reflecting anger, shock, fear and incredulity.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” he suddenly spit into the phone so vehemently that Raven shrank back. 

“No. _No_. If they get there before I do, tell them I’m on my way. And Lorna--we are going to have a long talk about this later. You shouldn’t worry about juvy. You can expect to be grounded until you are _fucking thirty_!”

He disconnected the call and and put his hand to his forehead, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“I can’t fucking believe--” he shook his head. “My fifteen year old daughter. Jesus Christ.”

“What happened?” Raven asked, seriously worried. It sound like Lorna had been maybe a little too creative.

“Lorna--” he exhaled hard. “I’m sorry, Raven, but I have to go right now. Lorna has been apprenticing at Frost Massage--which I didn’t even know about, by the way, so I’m going to have to talk to Emma about _that,_ \--anyway, apparently she’s been giving fucking _hand jobs_ for extra cash and she just got busted.”

_Whoa._ Raven didn’t have to fake looking shocked. Lorna had really pushed the envelope with that story; Raven could think of three or four glaring reasons Erik would have to disbelieve it, if he hadn’t been so tired. “Holy shit, Erik. I had no idea.”

“I gotta go right now. I need to call her mom but I want to be there before the cops get there, shit. I’ll call Magda on the way.” He kissed Raven on the cheek and left.

“Erik,” Raven called to him before he got too far away. He turned around and took a few steps backwards. “Do _whatever_ you have to. Okay? Remember that.”

“Of course,” he said, clearly confused. But that was okay. He would realize later.

After he was definitely gone, Raven took a couple deep breaths and went to check on Kurt. No change. Then she slipped into the hall and called Lorna.

“Wow, kiddo, I am going to have to teach you how to lie a little better,” Raven said. 

Lorna giggled. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it might not have if he hadn’t been so sleep-deprived,” Raven said. She belatedly filled Lorna in on the details of why her dad was sleep-deprived, then something occurred to her. “Oh, shit, Lorna, your dad said he was going to call your Mom!”

“Oh, I told Mom that I was playing a joke on him,” She said, giggling again. “She’s going to tell him she can’t get away from work to come. I almost told her the truth--after all, she’s been telling me for years that Dad needs to be with a man. But I figure it’s really none of her business.”

“You,” said Raven, “Are awesome.”

Lorna got quiet for a moment. “What’s going to happen to you, Raven?”

Raven sighed. “That’s sort of up to my brother, I think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up this morning completely overwhelmed by all the wonderful and varied comments I received! It's so exciting to see how many different opinions there are on how this will or should end. I had thought today would be my last update but the chapter got really stupid long and I realize I need to re-work the ending a bit, so I split it in half. I hope you liked it, and I expect to post that last bit as early tomorrow as I can, almost certainly before 3pm (PST)


	10. The Brig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warning except you might cry. Spoilers in the end notes, so look at your own risk.

The Brig

The first thing Charles noticed when Emma led him into the room where he thought Raven would be was Erik, sitting on the floor, with his knees up and his arms resting on them. Erik snapped his head up blearily when Charles entered the room and blinked a few times. 

The second thing he noticed was the door clicking shut behind him. 

“Erik?” He said, surprised. “Where’s Raven? What are you doing here?” 

“Well,” Erik said, rubbing his face, “I must have been a bad boy, because I’ve been in the Brig for the past forty-five minutes or so. Raven, I assume, is still at the hospital.”

“The what?” Charles asked. He glanced around the room. It looked almost identical to the massage room he’d been in the last time he was here, except there was no massage table. It was a windowless room that might have been used as a medical office at one time in it’s life, with a counter, some cabinets underneath, and a small sink, but no other furniture. 

Charles tried to open the door behind him and it seemed to be locked or the doorknob was broken. “Erik,” he said carefully, trying to keep calm, “What the fuck is going on?”

“That won’t open,” Erik said dismissively. “Emma calls this the Brig. It’s where she puts the perverts. Where she tried to put you that first day you came here.”

Charles tried the door again, starting to feel angry. “Erik, this isn’t funny. I have a flight to catch.”

“I didn’t do this, Charles,” Erik said, glancing at the other man and then quickly looking away. “And for the record, I don’t think it’s very funny either. I suspect we were both tricked into coming here.”

Charles patted his pockets for his cell phone only to remember he’d left it in the car. He suddenly realized that he was literally trapped. 

“This is false imprisonment,” Charles said to Erik in disbelief. 

“Yep,” Erik agreed. 

Charles waited for Erik to say something else. He felt himself getting impotently frustrated. He turned and banged his fists on the door, and yelled. “Emma Frost! Let me out of here this instant!”

There was no response. The rest of the building might have been empty. Charles banged and yelled again. His nerves were starting to feel frayed. 

Charles took a moment to look closer at Erik. He looked exhausted; beyond exhausted. His clothing was rumpled, he hadn’t shaved in several days, and there were deep bags under his eyes. Charles felt torn between his desire to be angry and upset about being trapped and his desire to comfort Erik. Belatedly, Charles registered what Erik had said about Raven.

“Raven...is at the hospital? But she told me…” Charles abruptly remembered why Raven had told him she was at the hospital. “How’s Kurt?” He asked quietly.

Erik said bitterly, “I don’t know. He was doing fine when I left the hospital. I sure hope Raven would let me know if anything changed. Assuming he stays on track, he’s supposed to be discharged today around, oh, around right now.”

Charles studied Erik. His anger was dissipating because it was clear that trapping them in this room together was not Erik’s idea; the poor man seemed to be barely staying awake. And, he’d said he was tricked into being here, too. “Erik. Why did you come here?”

Erik scowled. “Because my daughter tricked me. She told me a whopper that I really shouldn’t have believed.”

“What did she tell you?” Charles asked curiously.

Erik didn’t seem to want to reply. He rubbed his hands over his face before he reluctantly said, “She told me she was going to be arrested, and I needed to come here to get her. There’s more, but that’s the gist of it.”

Charles stared at Erik as the reality of the situation finally percolated through his awareness. He was going to miss his flight. Even though he had no idea how Emma had been convinced to agree, there was only one person who could be behind this.

“I’m going to kill Raven,” Charles said in frustration.

Erik snorted. “Get in line.” He had a paper towel in his hands that he started tearing into tiny strips. “She told me--well, screamed at me, really--she wants me to convince you not to move to Sydney.”

“But to--trap us? To deprive us of our--freedom? What an ill-conceived, unethical, not to mention illegal--”

Erik suddenly laughed. “Sound like anyone you know?”

Charles sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “Goddammit.” 

Charles put his back against the door and slid down until he was sitting on the floor, perpendicular to Erik. 

“Oh,” Erik said, and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket, holding it over to Charles, without looking at him. “If you want to make a call.”

Charles looked at the phone and rubbed his face in his hands. He thought about who he could call. He could call Raven and yell at her, but knowing her, that wouldn’t accomplish much. He _could_ call the police, but...he sighed. He had the oddest feeling that his bluff had been called. He still had a few hours before his flight. “Hang onto it for now,” he told Erik quietly. Erik nodded and put the phone back in his pocket. 

They sat there in silence for a moment before Erik spoke. “Um. Charles. Did you have Az killed?”

Charles snapped his head to Erik in shock. _”What?_ ” He half-laughed. “Oh my god, no, no. I would never. Is that what Logan told you?”

“The guy who called said ‘Azazel Romanov is dead’. I had no idea what that meant. Raven had to tell me who he was.” Erik gave Charles a pointed look. “So what was that about, then?”

“He called you _yesterday?_ ” Charles made a sound of frustration. “Some people can’t even follow simple directions. He was supposed to call you next week sometime, when I will be long gone.” Charles sighed. “That’s what I get for hiring someone at a bar when I was drunk.”

“It was a pretty freaky phone call to get, Charles.”

“Oh. _Oh_ I’m sorry about that, Erik, I really am. I meant for the call to have the opposite effect--I wanted you and Raven to feel safer. Logan’s supposed to be sending you the death certificate as well, that will have the cause of death on it, if you wanted to know.” Charles paused as Erik just stared at him. “Az was killed in a knife fight in Philadelphia about five months ago.”

“Okay, but--why, Charles? Why did hire a private investigator at all?”

Charles closed his eyes and leaned his head back. “Because now you know Kurt is yours. No one will try and take him from you.” Charles opened his eyes to see Erik staring at him with an intense, conflicted expression.

“So that’s why you hired the guy to find him?” Erik said quietly. “What if he hadn’t been dead?” 

“Then I would have bribed him to stay away from you,” Charles said matter-of-factly. 

Erik continued to stare at Charles. Charles turned his head and stared at the ceiling. 

“Why didn’t you tell me this two nights ago?” Erik asked, his voice quiet.

“Because…” Charles inhaled and looked around the room, anywhere but Erik’s eyes. When he continued, all the words were in a rush. “Because I thought it would be easier for you to let me go if you were angry at me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Erik said flatly.

“Well, you’re in love with an idiot,” Charles said with the barest smile.

Erik looked back at him, with a slight smile and a far-away look on his face. “By the way, I told Raven,” he said after a moment. “I told her that I was in love with you.”

Charles stared at Erik in disbelief. “You told her? Why did you tell her?” Charles’ heart started to pound.

“I told her because I’m tired of secrets.” Erik sighed and looked at Charles. “I know you’re leaving. I accept that. I certainly can’t say I’m happy about it, but I understand and respect your decision.”

It was a strange feeling to hear that from Erik. It made Charles feel a little numb, a little sad, and a little validated all at the same time. And it still didn’t make sense in conjunction with what he’d said immediately previous to that.

“But, Erik--I don’t understand. The reason I’m leaving is because I don’t want to interfere in your relationship with Raven. I thought you understood that. Don’t you think telling her you are in love with her brother will cause some--interference?”

Erik looked at Charles and blinked then rubbed his eyes. “Oh, right. You think we have a normal relationship. I’m so tired of secrets, Charles.” He paused. “Raven and I don’t have sex.”

Charles blinked several times in a row and then shook his head. “Well, you must have at least once, or the news about Kurt wouldn’t have been quite so surprising.”

“We did, once. Exactly once. She had coke, and I…” Erik trailed off and his cheeks turned a little redder as he mumbled, “I can only get it up with a woman if I’m on drugs. I’m gay, Charles.”

Charles’ felt like the bottom was dropping out of his world. He exhaled slowly. “Does Raven know?”

“That I’m gay? Yes. She, ah, has even given me permission to sleep with other people.”

Charles face contorted through a complex mess of emotions. He licked his lips hesitantly. He tried to find something to say and what came out was “Have you?”

Erik looked genuinely amused for the first time that afternoon. “No, I haven’t.” His smile slowly faded as he said, “There’s only one person I want to sleep with.”

“Why--” Charles started and then stopped. Raven and Erik did not have sex. Learning that they had been keeping this secret from him hurt. He swallowed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Erik grimaced. “Because you were the one person Raven wanted to convince that we had a normal marriage.” 

Charles’ jaw dropped. “I’m the _one_ person? Seriously? Everyone knows but me?”

“Well, Emma pretty much guessed and Raven told Lorna, so…”

“Raven told _Lorna_?” Charles got to his feet and started pacing in the small space. “Well, that’s entirely--” He laughed. Then he frowned and felt immediately like crying. He walked over to Erik and slid down the wall so they were shoulder to shoulder. He hiccuped a laugh. “That’s entirely inappropriate.” The the tears came. Erik put his arm around Charles’s shoulder, then his other arm around Charles’ front. Charles leaned into him and cried harder. 

Erik gently put a hand on his chin and looked into his eyes, searching Charles’ face. Erik’s eyes were shining with tears, too, and one tear slid down his face as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Charles’ lips. Charles melted into the kiss and then broke it as his tears kept coming. 

“Why are you crying?” Erik whispered.

“I don’t know,” Charles admitted. “I’m just exhausted from trying not to want you. I’m tired of it. And you just shook the foundation that my resistance was built on.” Charles reached his hand out for Erik’s and entwined their fingers. “Why are you crying?”

“Because you are,” Erik said softly. “It hurts me when you hurt, you ridiculous man.”

Charles felt like he couldn’t breathe for a second. “After I left the other night--I thought you were so angry with me.”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”

Charles frowned. “I never said that.”

“Oh.” Erik frowned too, then closed his eyes as realization crossed his face. “Oh, Raven. That one hurt.” 

“Raven told you I didn’t want to talk to you?” 

Erik nodded, closing his eyes. 

Charles snorted. “That’s funny. I feel like I never want to stop talking to you.”

Erik turned his head and gazed at Charles, nose to nose. Their faces were inches apart. This close, Charles could see every pore, every freckle in Erik’s green eyes, every individual piece of stubble; the small scar above his lip. Charles had a sudden flash of what it would be like to wake up to this face, every day, to be so close to Erik that they would share the very same air. 

“What are you thinking?” Erik whispered.

“I was thinking…” Charles couldn’t share what he had really been thinking. It was too much, too intimate. “I was thinking that you and Raven have never consummated your marriage,” he said slowly.

“I guess that’s true,” Erik said cautiously.

“That could be grounds for an annulment.” They were still were close together their noses were almost touching.

Erik pulled back slightly. A tiny crease appeared in his brow. “I don’t want an annulment,” he said. “I made a commitment to Raven.”

Charles paused. His heart constricted.

“I love Raven,” Erik said. “But not like I love you.” He went in for another kiss. With a heroic effort, Charles pulled away. Suddenly the kissing they’d been doing seemed--cheap.

“Erik--If you don’t want to leave Raven, why are you kissing me?” 

Erik paused a moment before answering. “Because I think she wants us to.” His face betrayed his doubt though.

“Erik,” Charles said gently, “If Raven didn’t want me to know about your--unusual living situation, then I highly doubt she would approve of us doing this.”

“I told her that we’d kissed, too,” Erik said, looking off into the room. “She asked if we’d had sex, and I told her no, but I wanted to, and I told her we’d kissed, and then we noticed Kurt was blue, so that put a rather effective stop to the conversation.”

Charles couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You told her all that?” He said it a voice pitched higher than normal. 

Erik looked at Charles. “I’m tired of all the deception. Pretending to Raven that I didn’t love you, pretending to you that I was sleeping with Raven...I just couldn’t take it anymore. After you told me about Kurt…” Erik trailed off for a moment. “I’m tired of keeping secrets.” 

Charles subtly shifted his position so he was a little farther away from Erik. “I understand all of that, Erik, I really do. I can’t imagine the stress that would put on you. I only knew half the situation and I found it stressful enough to want to move to the other side of the world. But what’s really changed? She’s still my sister, you’re committed to her, and you’re still her husband. I can’t believe that she would tell you that she wants us to--well.”

“You can’t believe that? Because Raven’s so conventional?” Erik’s words were laced with sarcasm. Charles resistance wavered, but he didn’t reply.

“The last thing Raven said to me before I left the hospital was ‘do _anything_ you have to’. She said it exactly like that, too.” Erik stroked a lock of Charles’ hair back from his face. “I didn’t know what she meant at the time. I thought I was coming for Lorna. But now I think I do know.” He stroked his thumb across Charles’ cheek and gently kissed him again. 

Then the kiss got hotter. Erik wrapped his hand around the back of Charles’ neck and opened Charles’ mouth with his. His other hand was just stroking down Charles chest when Charles gasped, “Wait, Erik, stop. I can’t do this. Not to Raven.”

Erik pulled away from Charles with obvious reluctance. The want in his eyes made Charles feel breathless but he steeled himself. 

“Just because you think she’s okay with this doesn’t mean you are right. And even if she is, impossibly, accepting of the fact that you and I want to be together...well…” Charles shook his head. He couldn’t go farther down that logical path. There was no precedent. “I don’t think I’m okay with that.”

There didn’t seem to be anything left to say. Charles wrapped his arms around his knees and put his chin on his knees, still sitting next to Erik but no longer touching him, staring straight ahead. He felt Erik’s eyes on him but he didn’t look back.

After a few minutes Erik sighed and pulled out his phone and called Emma. “Hey. Will you please pretend I’ve told you whatever I am supposed to to make this end? We’re ready to come out.”

“Sugar, you don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” Emma’s honeyed voice drawled in his ear. 

Erik snorted and disconnected the call. “She really is a bitch,” he said to Charles.

Emma opened the door with a brilliant smile for the both of them. She stood back as they walked out. Charles deliberately avoided eye contact with Emma as he stepped out of the room with his head held high. “You’ll be hearing from my attorney,” he informed her coolly.

Emma smirked. “Raven said you might say something like that. She told me she will reimburse me for any costs I incur.”

Outside, it was starting to rain. Erik followed Charles to his car. Charles hesitated. He realized--nothing had essentially changed. All the secrets had been aired, and they were back at square one: Erik and Raven were still married. Erik was committed to Raven, even if he loved Charles. The best case scenario was that Charles would break them up, and Charles couldn’t stomach that. “I can still make my flight if I leave now,” he said, watching Erik to see his response.

Erik looked at him impassively. He face looked deliberately blank, like Erik didn’t to influence Charles’ decision. “I took a cab here,” Erik said finally. “I needed to leave the car with Raven. Will you give me a ride home?”

Erik’s home was only a small detour between Frost Massage and JFK. It was a reasonable request. Charles nodded. 

**

They didn’t talk on the drive. When Charles pulled up in front of Erik’s apartment building, Erik was studying his face. “You’re really going,” He said. It was more an observation than a question. Charles nodded tightly. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Erik turned away and said, “The car’s back; that means Raven is here. Are you sure you don’t want to come talk to her? At least say goodbye, or give her hell for putting us in the Brig this morning?” He had the lightest possible smile on his face.

“Give her a chance to slap me for making out with her husband,” Charles said. It was supposed to be a joke but it wasn’t very funny. He cleared his throat. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He didn’t meet Erik’s eyes. 

“Well,” Erik said after a moment, “at least we had--this. Some closure. At least we got to say goodbye.” His voice broke on the last word and Charles reached for him and pulled him into a tight if somewhat physically awkward hug because of the respective positions. He told himself he would let Erik kiss him if he tried to, but Erik didn’t try to. 

The rain had stopped but the day was still very windy and cloudy. Erik got out of the car and stood at the door to the building, obviously wanting to see Charles off, his arms crossed against the cold. Charles sat in the car for a moment. And then he kept sitting.

 _I need to go,_ he told himself. He willed his arms to turn the key, to put the car in gear. He couldn’t move. He was frozen. 

Erik frowned at him from the sidewalk, clearly confused. 

And Charles realized--he couldn’t drive away just now. Not without at least talking to Raven. 

Slowly, Charles unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. The flash of joy and hope on Erik’s face was blinding. “I have to talk to Raven,” he told Erik. Erik only nodded.

**

Raven was sitting on the couch when they arrived, and she burst into tears the second they walked through the door. 

“Where’s Kurt?” Erik said. 

“He’s in his crib,” she said, through her tears. Erik immediately went down the hall.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I wasn’t going to--” She stood up and hugged him. “You’re here,” she said. “You didn’t go to Sydney.”

Charles sighed. “Apparently not. Raven, locking Erik and I up together was a terrible idea. In fact, it was literally illegal. How could you do that?”

She was immediately defensive. “You didn’t give me any time! You said you were moving to Sydney the day after tomorrow and then Kurt got sick and I have some really important things to tell you!” She sniffed, still crying a little. “Besides, it’s not like you haven’t ever done something stupid. What was that business with Az being dead? What was that about?”

“I didn’t _kill_ him,” Charles said, rolling his eyes. 

“God, Charles, I know that. I know you. But why were you even looking for him?”

“Because he was going to bribe Az to stay away from us,” Erik said, coming into the room with Kurt in his arms. 

Seeing Erik holding the baby jogged Charles’ priorities. He wasn’t going to make his flight now, and he definitely needed to talk to Raven. 

“Raven,” he said, and he suspected in light of all that Erik had told him that Raven had guessed this already, but...“I’m in love with Erik,” he said. He said the next words before he could spend too much time thinking about them. No more hiding. “We’ve been--kissing, because Erik is somehow under the impression that this is something you are okay with.”

Raven tried to smile, but a few tears welled up her eyes and in a gesture achingly similar to Charles, she brushed them away in annoyance. “I pushed you together,” she said. 

Charles started to protest and Raven cut him off. “No. Shut up. You need to hear this, both of you. I pushed you together,” she repeated, looking between Charles and Erik, “Because I wanted you to like each other. I love you, Charles, and even before I loved Erik I liked him a lot and it was really important to me that you two like each other.”

She looked off into the room, her eyes slightly unfocused, seemingly talking to herself. “Even after it was obvious that you were good friends, I still pushed you together. The idea of you two being close--” she shook her head, looking almost confused, “--nothing made me happier than that.”

“Erik--” Raven turned to look at him. Some tears started to well up again. “I told you once that you were the best thing that ever happened to me, but that’s not really true. _Charles_ is the best thing to ever happen to me. He got me out of an abusive foster home, he became emancipated for me, he fucking _adopted_ me--” She broke off as tears threatened again and Charles grasped her hand. 

She composed herself a little, not removing her hand from Charles’ grasp. “But. Erik. You trusted me and gave me respect, and love, and a home. And I knew I couldn’t give you everything you deserved. But I gradually started to realize that--I hoped that Charles could.” Her face crumbled again as she swallowed back tears. 

Charles could not understand. He understood each individual word, but what Raven was saying--that couldn’t be right. People didn’t feel that way about their husband and their brother together.

“And then--” She laughed, still holding back tears. “ _Then,_ I see you two cuddled up on the couch together. And you were so fucking cute and _perfect_ and I wanted to tease you about it but it also made me realize--” she paused to take a deep breath. She shook her head again and looked heavenward. “I _want_ that for you, so fucking much. So much it doesn’t even make sense. You two together--” she sniffed. “I ship you guys.”

“You--what? Ship?” Charles asked, hating to interrupt but desperately confused at not understanding what seemed to be the culmination of her speech.

“As in, I want you to be together,” Raven clarified, looking Charles in the eye with a determinedly bright gaze. “Shipping. Like relationship.” She paused to take a breath. “So. Yeah. You two should be together. I’ve been the big fat wedge between you, and I...I need to get my own place.”

“Raven,” said Erik, seriously. “Please look at me.” She turned her head towards him but it took her a few second to lift her eyes to his. “I’m not leaving you, Raven. I made a commitment to you. I love you. I love Kurt. _I do not want you to move out._ Do you hear me?”

Charles felt small as he watched Erik declare his love for Raven, declare that he wouldn’t leave her. He was more confused than ever. Especially right after Raven said that she--inexplicably--wanted Charles and Erik to be together. “I don’t understand,” he blurted out. They both turned to look at him and Charles was a little gratified to see that Raven looked as confused as he felt.

“If you really want to move out, Raven…” Erik sighed. “Obviously I can’t stop you. But I don’t want you to even think about it, to be honest, and I don’t think you want to.”

“What the fuck am I doing here?” Charles yelled suddenly, at his wit’s end. “Do you love me or not?”

Kurt started crying and Raven silently took him from Erik. Erik looked at Charles with such a pained expression that Charles couldn’t bear it. He had to leave. He went for the front door, nearly running in his haste. 

Erik beat him to it, physically standing in his way. “No, Charles. No. You can’t leave like this, in anger, not again. I won’t let you.”

“ _You_ won’t let me? You, the champion of individual choice? You, the guy who never stops anyone from doing anything?” Charles shoved at Erik’s shoulder angrily. 

“I know,” Erik choked, his stoic facade crumbling. “Yes. I’m a hypocrite. But I’d rather be a hypocrite right now than let you walk out that door.”

Tears of frustration squeezed out Charles’ closed eyes as he ground his face into Erik’s shoulder. “Dammit, Erik, I thought we had a chance!”

“We do, Charles,” Erik whispered to him, clutching Charles’ biceps. “Please, just--there is a chance. We do have a chance.”

“But you just said,” Charles cried, lifting up his face to look up into Erik’s. “You just said, you won’t leave Raven.”

“I know,” Erik said quietly. “But, Charles, why does it have to be one of you or the other? You love each other; I love both of you. And Raven wants us to be together, you heard her!”

“But--” Charles mouth was open, but no more sound came out. He whirled to look at Raven, sitting on the couch. She was holding Kurt and soothing him. She shot him a tentative smile when she saw him looking at her. 

Erik stepped aside. He exhaled softly. “I’m sorry I--Charles. You’re right. I’m not going to stop you from leaving. I could, but I won’t.” He took Charles’ hand in one of his and and reached up with one hand to brush that stubborn lock of hair out of Charles’ eyes. “I’m going to go and wait for you on the balcony. I hope you will come talk to me about this out there.” Very gently, he kissed Charles on the forehead and then walked towards the balcony, through the living room. 

Charles watched him as he stopped in front of Raven and spoke to her in a low voice. Charles watched for a moment, feeling completely out of his element. He didn’t know the appropriate behavior for this situation. Charles, witty Charles, who understood social cues better than most humans, who was hyper-aware of the line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior (even if he sometimes chose to land on the other side of that line), was socially adrift, watching the two people he loved most in the world have a conversation that was undoubtedly about him but did not involve him. 

He walked into the kitchen, aimless. He opened the pantry and saw a bottle of Scotch, and took it out instinctively. He was about to pour when he realized--he didn’t want a drink. Well, a part of him did, but a more important part of him did not.

Raven came into the kitchen. 

He was standing there with the open bottle in his hand. She glanced at the bottle, and then at him. “You can, if you want,” she said. The expression on her face was mixed.

“I know,” he said. “I don’t want to.” He recapped the bottle and put it away. Then he stood, just staring into space.

“Charles,” she said hesitantly, “Are you okay?”

He turned to her and shook his head slightly. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m really confused.” He looked at Raven. “Is--what Erik said--have you and he talked about that?”

“Um, I guess that depends on what Erik said,” Raven said. “But I can tell you honestly, we haven’t talked about much. We really haven’t had the chance. He just now told me that he told you everything, but I’m not even sure what that means.”

“He said--he--” Charles didn’t know how to say it--well, politely. That was one of the problems. He didn’t have the right words for this. “He wants both of us.”

She smiled, hesitantly. “Well...that makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?”

Charles frowned and shook his head. “Surely you don’t want to--share him.”

“Share?” Raven gave Charles a puzzled frown. “It’s not really like that. I thought Erik told you what he is to me. He’s the father of my son. We don’t share a bed--well, anymore. We don’t kiss. We don’t cuddle. Well, once. But that was--” She made a noise of frustration. “Okay, it’s honestly not black and white. But--if you want, we can--negotiate. Establish boundaries. If you want. It’s probably a good idea. Although, honestly, Charles, I would…” she trailed off for a moment and looked uncertain. “If it’s really that important to you, I would--move out. I’d have to live nearby, for Kurt, but, Charles...I want you to both to be happy. I know he loves and you and I know you love him. Even before I knew, I knew. You know?” She chuckled a little at her own words while she looked at him questioningly.

Raven. Charles pressed his lips together and smiled while tears came to his eyes at the same time. His insane sister who didn’t have a college education and still managed to be steps ahead of Charles and his three degrees. Raven, who could adapt to any situation, who could become what she had to be and what was needed to survive. 

“Raven,” he said, concentrating on being open-minded. “What do you want? What do you need? You and Erik have both explained your current relationship to me. I think I understand that. But are you--do you miss--” Charles knew he was blushing, because talking to his sister about this particular subject was on the opposite side of the ‘appropriate’ line in his mind. “Sex?” He finally managed.

She looked a little amused at his awkwardness. 

“No,” she said, simply. 

Charles didn’t understand, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask _his sister_ to elaborate. And she knew that.

“My whole life,” she said slowly, “I was only valued for what I looked like. At least, that’s what I felt, because that’s all anybody would tell me was good about me.”

Charles opened his mouth to object and she stopped him with a raised hand. “Until I met you,” she acknowledged softly. “But, well, you know this part--before I met you, even when I was a little girl, I was forced into sexual situations that I didn’t want. And then you...you told me that I was not only pretty but also smart and determined and capable--and it seemed like you were--I don’t know, an outlier. Like you must be wrong. Like you must be the fool for seeing that in me when nobody else did because I honestly didn’t believe that about myself. So I resented you, and left you, and I went to Vegas and all I knew--my only asset that I believed in--was my appearance, my body. It became something I traded. I never felt like I had the choice to have sex or not. I just--did it because I felt like I had to, to make money. And when I started living with Erik, when he gave me the space to choose--I realized that I don’t want sex. And I actually don’t think I ever did.”

Charles was a little surprised to find that he did understand. It wasn’t how _he_ felt about sex, but it did in fact it make a lot of sense, even though he did feel a little punched by Raven’s description of the life she had led. “Oh, Raven,” he whispered and pulled her into his arms. He just held her, rocking slowly. “You are remarkably self-aware,” he commented.

She laughed a little, against his chest. “Well, I didn’t do any drugs when I was pregnant, and it’s surprising how much thinking you can get done with a clear head.”

“I missed this,” she whispered after a minute. “If I do move out, you’ll have to come by and cuddle me once in a while.”

“Of course,” he whispered, smiling. Charles thought about how both Erik and Raven had made a point of saying they didn’t cuddle each other. And he remembered, too, how when Raven had first moved in with him at nine years old he would wake up every morning to find her in his bed, no matter how much he tried to tell her that she needed to sleep in her own room because it wasn’t appropropriate for her to sleep with him. So clearly Erik wasn’t meeting _all_ her needs. He squeezed Raven tightly. “Of course,” he repeated.

He disengaged. “I’m going to talk to Erik,” he said, and kissed her on the side of the head.

He went onto the balcony and shut the balcony door and the first thing he noticed was how cold it was outside. It was raining again, although the balcony was covered so it was mostly dry. 

“You must be freezing,” he exclaimed to Erik. 

Erik shrugged. He was wearing his army surplus coat and upon seeing Charles he took it off and handed it to the other man. “You usually get more cold than I do,” he said. 

Charles gave him a considering look. “We’ll just have to share,” he said. “Put it back on.”

With raised eyebrows and a curious expression, Erik put the jacket back on and Charles embraced him, putting his arms inside the coat and rubbing his hands up and down Erik’s back. They sighed into each other. 

“This feels like a good sign,” Erik rumbled after a moment. 

Charles had his head turned sideways against Erik’s chest and he just fit under the taller man’s chin. “I don’t believe in signs,” Charles said. 

“Oh really? I didn’t know that.” Erik had wrapped his arms around Charles’ back, too.

“There’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” Charles pointed out. “We’ve never discussed past relationships, for instance. Well, except Magda. But for all I know you could have murdered all your past boyfriends.”

“You got me,” agreed Erik. “The bodies are buried in the basement.”

It felt too good, hugging him. Charles knew there were Important Things that they needed to discuss but he was loath to disturb the tranquility he felt at that moment. 

“I threw the cigarettes away,” Erik said after a moment. “You’ll have to buy more if you want some.”

Charles shook his head with a slight laugh. “No, it’s a terrible habit. I just needed something...I don’t know.” he said lamely. 

“Raven said she would move out,” Charles said reluctantly after a few minutes. He felt Erik tense against him.

“I don’t want that,” Erik said. 

“I know.” Charles sighed. “But is it so horribly selfish of me to want you to myself? To want us to be a normal couple?”

“What’s a normal couple?” Erik asked. “Or an normal family, for that matter.” Erik pulled back so they were looking each other in the eye again. “There’s no such thing, Charles. I thought I wanted that for a long time, too, until I realized--it’s a fairy tale. A unicorn.”

“But--” Charles felt his frustration boiling up again. “It’s not fucking fair, Erik! I always put everyone else’s needs before my own and once, just once, I would like to be able to prioritize my own needs!”

“Oh Charles…” Erik looked at him sadly. “I wish I could tell you that I will always prioritize your needs, but...kids come first with me. You wouldn’t believe how hard I tried to make my marriage with Magda work. I could do everything except the one thing she--well.” He closed his eyes. It looked like a painful recollection. “Do you know hard it is for a healthy 19-year-old man to get a prescription for Viagra? Because I do.”

Charles was silent, just breathing and holding Erik.

“We settled on joint custody of Lorna because neither of us was willing to give up asking for full custody. Magda fought me on that every step of the way. At least I know she loves Lorna very much, as I do. But...joint custody is hard, Charles. Logistically…” he shook his head. “And it’s been the hardest on Lorna. I don’t want to put Kurt through that.”

Charles squeezed his eyes shut and hugged Erik so tightly it had to hurt.

“Would you love me,” Erik said softly, his voice reflecting the slight lung restriction that Charles was inflicting upon him, “If I were the kind of man who would abandon your sister and her infant son?”

 _Ouch._ Charles relaxed his grip a bit. That had hit home. Charles recalled his conversation with Raven. Even though she had offered, he knew she didn’t really want to move out. 

“So you want…” Charles had to say it; how could he even consider it if he couldn’t say it. “You want--Raven to be your wife and for me to be your boyfriend.”

Erik sighed and tipped his head against Charles’. “In a nutshell. Yes.”

 _But what would people say,_ he almost said, except that he knew what Erik’s response would be. And probably Raven’s too. _Who cares?_

“But,” he swallowed. “I’m scared.” It was hard to admit. “What if--it doesn’t work out? What if I lose both of you?”

“You think I’m not scared?” Erik said, pulling back again to make eye contact with Charles. “You think Raven’s not? She burst into tears the minute we got here, that’s how scared she is. Trying to do something different, something not condoned by society--honestly, Charles, and I am not being sarcastic here--it’s fucking terrifying.” He leaned his head against Charles’ head. “But it’s worth it to me, because if you move to Sydney, you’ve lost both of us anyway, haven’t you?”

Charles felt something tip over in him. Erik’s words were starting to make sense. Maybe...maybe this could work. Maybe it was at least worth trying.

The warmth of Erik’s body against him was starting to feel less safe and comforting and more arousing. Charles ran his hands up underneath Erik’s shirt, feeling his warm skin, and down over Erik’s hips. He pressed a kiss to Erik’s bare neck and felt the pulse underneath. 

“I think,” Charles said suggestively, “That it might be prudent, before I commit to anything relationship-wise, that perhaps you and I should, um, see if we are as, ah, compatible as I’m hoping we are.” He slid his hands down over Erik’s ass in case his meaning wasn’t clear.

“Is that what prudent means?” Erik said with a smirk. “I must have been using it wrong all these years.” He kissed Charles, a kiss that started sweetly but rapidly became heated. It set something inside Charles on fire. 

Charles could feel the hardness of Erik’s cock pressing against him just as it started to rain harder. “Bedroom?” he breathed.

“Ahh...yes, but...I’d really like to shower first?” Erik said, looking at him imploringly.

Charles bit his lip. “Can I shower with you?”

“Oh, fuck, yes,” Erik breathed, then kissed Charles deeply.

Erik took Charles by the hand and led him to his bedroom, a room Charles had never been in before. He glanced down the hall and saw by the light that Raven seemed to be in her room with the door shut. He felt a swell of affection and gratitude to her for giving him and Charles the space to be able to have this.

**

It was surreal, being able to finally have sex with Erik after having fantasized about it for so long. Charles felt almost shy, being naked in front of such a beautiful man, but Erik seemed to have no shyness at all, and touched every part of Charles almost reverently. They didn’t have penetrative sex, but Charles had learned from the dirty talk during the sex they _did_ have that Erik would be open to either topping or bottoming, or both. 

“So?” asked Erik, when they were naked and sated. He was lying on his side with his head propped up on his hand. He looked as happy as a lion who had just had a lovely zebra meal. “Do you want to move in?” 

“Ahh...I’m still thinking about--everything,” Charles said vaguely.

“Oh. Okay.” Erik had his careful stoic face on again. Charles climbed on top of him, resting his weight on the tops of Erik’s thighs with his knees on either side of the other man. He twined the fingers of each hand with Erik’s.

“What if I just want no-strings-attached casual sex?” Charles asked coquettishly. 

“Ah…” Erik was looking carefully at Charles’ face for a sign of whether or not he was joking. Charles wasn’t entirely sure himself. He gazed back at Erik with wide, curious eyes.

“Would you...have sex with other people?” Erik asked slowly, his eyes narrowing a bit as he looked up at Charles sitting astride him. 

Charles considered. “Probably not.”

“ _Probably_ not?” A distinct look of possessiveness crossed Erik’s face.

Charles leaned down and kissed Erik softly on the lips. “Ok, I wouldn’t,” he promised softly, and then continued after a moment. “Before I make any decisions, I would like to do some research. I’m sure there is literature on polyamory that could be very informative. Sociology is not my specific concentration, but I am certainly more than capable of--” Charles broke off because Erik was grinning at him hugely. “What?” he said.

“Researching polyamory like an academic,” Erik said, shaking his head. “You’re just so--”

“If you say adorable, so help me,” Charles warned.

Erik pulled Charles closer to him. “I was going to say brilliant, and sexy--” he kissed Charles. “And adorable.” Charles leaned back after the kiss was done and stretched his arms high, feeling Erik’s eyes on him and enjoying the sensation.

“Whatever happened to that douche with the cheekbones?” Erik asked after a moment. 

Charles laughed despite himself. “Scott? He’s not a douche! And I just--” he shrugged. “I stopped returning his calls.”

“Good,” Erik growled, pulling Charles forward by his hands into giving Erik a slightly more passionate kiss than the previous one. 

“Was he really hung like a horse?” Erik muttered against his mouth right after they had stopped kissing.

“Erik!” Charles was about to admonish him for being inappropriate, but he wasn’t even sure now that the word meant what he had once thought it meant. “I wouldn’t know,” he said finally, with a cheeky green. “We never even kissed.”

“Speaking of kissing…” Erik rolled Charles over and planted a kiss on him that left the other breathless. 

“The good news is, I’ve met someone who _is_ hung like a horse,” Charles said, reaching down and grasping the appendage to which he was referring. 

“Told you,” Erik said with a self-satisfied smirk, and then they were too busy to talk for a while.

**

After their second round of sex, Erik was fast asleep and dead to the world. It was early evening by that point, and Charles had napped briefly, but he really wasn’t that tired. He lay in bed watching Erik sleep and thinking for a long while before he went in search of a snack. 

Raven was on the couch, watching TV at a low volume. “Hey,” she said to him with a smile. 

Charles braced himself for a suggestive or embarrassing comment but she didn’t say anything like that. “I’m going to find some food in the kitchen; can I bring you anything?” He said after a moment.

“There’s some leftover Chinese,” she said. “I’m good, though.”

Charles looked in the refrigerator. “I don’t see any take-out boxes.”

She laughed from the other room. “It’s not take-out. Erik made it. It’s in the tupperware.”

“Oh, right.” A lifetime of eating take-out had warped Charles’ mind. He found the container and brought it with him into the living room. Raven patted the seat next to her and when he sat down, she promptly stuck her feet in his lap. 

“Hello, food?” He said, giving her a vexed look. She pouted and pulled her legs back. “I’ll be done in a minute,” he told her. “I’m starving.”

“Erik will probably need to eat, soon, too,” Raven said. “He hasn’t eaten much in the past few days.”

Charles nodded, busy stuffing his mouth. The food was good. “Erik does all the cooking?”

Raven made a face at him for talking with his mouth full. “You know how I am in the kitchen, Charles.”

“Yes, but…” Charles chewed while he thought about it. “He works full-time, has an infant son, does all the cooking...how he is going to have time for a boyfriend?”

Raven gave Charles a very pleased and happy look. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll find the time.” 

Charles hummed noncommittally. 

“So, you’re not going to kick me out?” She said lightly. 

“Jesus, Raven,” Charles exclaimed. “Is that how you feel about it? Why did you say earlier…?”

She shrugged. “I had faith that you would come around.”

“And now you think I have?” 

“You’ve done some kind of coming,” she said dryly. “The walls aren’t that thin.”

Charles nearly choked on his bite of Chinese food. This was the Raven he knew, the one who said things just to be edgy. “I was wondering where you’d gone,” he said.

She snickered a little at his near-choking. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“When I came out here, you didn’t have a smart-ass comment for me,” he said. “It was almost disconcerting.”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty,” She said with a gleam in her eye. “Wait until I start on the sister-wife jokes.”

“Raven!”

She giggled. 

“Is it really not going to bother you, if you can, um, hear us?” he said. It bothered him a little. 

“Nah. Not anymore than a typical roommate situation,” she said, and then added, quieter, “You are going to move in, aren’t you?”

“Well,” Charles said, finishing the last bite of the yummy stir-fry, “I’m still thinking about it. Oh,” he continued immediately. “There is something I have to tell you. It’s going to seem really stupid, now, in light of--well, everything.” He sighed and worked up his courage. “I tried to keep something from you for a long time. In fact, I jumped through ridiculous hoops trying to keep this secret, and now--it seems like it doesn’t even matter. But I’ll let you be the judge of that,” Charles finished softly. 

Erik came out of the bedroom just then, rubbing has face and wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants. His eyes were barely open and he looked still mostly asleep. Without talking, he motioned Charles to scoot over so he could sit on Charles other side and he promptly cuddled up against Charles. “I’m just about to tell Raven how we actually first met,” he said to Erik. 

“Mmm,” Erik said, not opening his eyes. Charles put his arm around the man and kissed the top of his head, then looked at Raven and took a deep breath. “Do you remember the day you asked to borrow my car so that you could run some errands, including going to your new job at Frost Massage? It was a little more than a year ago now.”

Raven frowned, utterly confused. “Uh, I guess so? Sort of?”

Charles spoke as matter-of-factly as he could, staring forward, remembering. “I thought you were selling yourself again, Raven. So I left my phone in the car and I tracked it on my iPad. I went inside and pretended to be a guy looking for a handjob.” 

He looked at Raven. Although she had looked extremely annoyed for a moment, she now had both hands pressed over her mouth, her eyes wide open and staring at him. “When Emma didn’t give me the answers I was expecting, I told her I wanted to apply for a job. She--tried to send me to the Brig, and I thought I was going to have an--” he paused to do air quotes “‘--audition’.” 

“Oh my god,” Raven said, pulling her hands lower. Her eyes were still wide but a smile was starting to creep onto her lips. 

Charles felt the blush creeping onto his face as he anticipated telling Raven the next part. It was a good sign that she was starting to smile, but he was still completely mortified that he had ever done such a thing. “The room I went into had a man waiting for a massage. It was Erik,” he said belatedly. 

Erik raised a hand to wave at Raven unnecessarily.

“I gave him a sensual massage,” Charles said bluntly. “He thought my name was Angel. I almost--” Charles swallowed. “I almost jerked him off. I only stopped because he told me there’d been a misunderstanding.”

Raven’s look of amusement was now tinged with a little bit of horror. Still looking at Charles, she said, “Erik, how did you feel about this happening?”

“Confused,” Erik said, then clearing his throat, added, “Aroused.” Almost reluctantly, he said, “A little bit violated. Sorry,” he added immediately to Charles.

Charles shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I owe you an apology.”

Raven leaned forward to look at Erik, as she addressed Charles: “Charles, did you ever apologize to Erik?”

“He did,” Erik said softly, sitting upright and looking at Charles.

She looked thoughtful. “Did this happen to result in a lawsuit with a nondisclosure agreement?”

“Yes.” Charles sat up. “Oh, please, tell me Emma violated the nondisclosure agreement?”

“Well,” said Raven slowly, “I don’t think she did--she just mentioned lawsuit and then got all super-secretive and I threatened to call Armando and then she said she would do whatever I wanted.”

Charles was a little excited despite himself. “That’s a violation,” he said, “Even mentioning the lawsuit--”

“Of course, I told her I would cover all her costs if she incurred any, so…” She looked at Charles with raised eyebrows. 

“Oh.” he deflated. “I guess I won’t enforce it then.”

Raven continued to look at Charles. “You know, what you did with the massage is probably the worst thing you’ve ever done, and it still wasn’t really that bad. And it sounds like you’ve paid for it.” 

“In spades,” he agreed.

**

The three of them were eating breakfast the next morning when Charles said, “I’ve decided not move in.”

Raven and Erik froze and stared at him. 

“Unless...one of two things happens,” he continued. “Preferably both.”

Raven and Erik exchanged relieved looks. “Well, don’t leave us in suspense, drama queen,” Raven drawled.

“I’m not going to dignify that comment with a response,” he said haughtily, to which Raven muttered, “uh, hello, you just did,” and Erik snickered, “adorable.”

“One,” Charles continued, “We need a bigger place. Two--I want Erik to quit his job.”

“Both!” squealed Raven. Erik just stared at him in astonishment.

“Charles,” he said carefully, “I actually agree with you about the house, and we can definitely look into that. But I can’t quit my job! I have alimony, child support, other debts.”

Charles waved his hand. “I’ll take care of all that. Erik, I know how important it is to you to be able to spend time with Kurt. And I know you do all the cooking--Raven and I are unfortunately both horrible in the kitchen. And I suspect that I will be taking up plenty of your, ahem, attention. I don’t want your health to be affected.”

“I don’t want you to support me,” Erik said, looking annoyed.

“Well, darling, you have asked me to compromise what I want out of this relationship--is it not fair that you compromise a little too?”

“No,” said Erik flatly.

Charles and Raven exchanged glances. “Well,” she said, “at least we can start house hunting this weekend.”

**

They had bought a six-bedroom, two-level, penthouse apartment for a sum of money that made Erik blanch but that Charles assured him was a good deal. The views were unbelievable. 

Four weeks later, right after they had moved into the new apartment, Erik caved and quit his job after he fell asleep one evening in the middle of receiving a blow-job. 

**

Telling Lorna went far more easily than Charles expected, although she did confirm at least three times that Raven wasn’t leaving. The view she had from her new room probably helped.

**

EPILOGUE

_(one year later)_

 

Certain patterns had developed in their family. Both Erik and Raven referred to each other in terms of their relationship to Charles rather than to each other: Erik would say “your sister” and almost never “my wife” and Raven would say, “your boyfriend.” 

Charles appreciated it. 

Raven and Charles still bickered like children sometimes, at which times Erik would refuse to get involved, and Raven generally got way too involved in Erik’s and Charles’ disagreements. But those disagreements were mostly limited to Charles trying to convince Erik to relax about money. 

They had found a living room seating arrangement that worked: Charles sat in the middle, Raven sat on one side of him and Erik sat on the other. Kurt sat wherever he felt like, and Lorna, when she was there, would sit either next to Raven or next to Erik. It was comfortable and it felt so right so fast that Charles wondered why the hell he had fought so hard. 

About a year after they had all moved in together, the family was attending Lorna’s high school graduation. She was graduating a year early, having been accepted to MIT, and Erik couldn’t be prouder. Erik had his hand shading his eyes, and was squinting trying to find her in the seated students when he suddenly gasped. He also knew instantly who was responsible.

“Raven,” he said sternly, “Does my sixteen-year-old daughter have green hair?”

She giggled. “Ah, yup. She said she’d rather ask forgiveness than permission.” She was holding Kurt up between herself and Erik like he was a shield. Kurt shrieked with delight.

“Is it temporary at least?” he gritted out. 

She pondered. “For a given definition of temporary, yes.”

“I was thinking,” Charles said, partly to defuse the situation and partly because he actually had been thinking, “That we should go on a family vacation. Does Lorna have plans this summer?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Erik said thoughtfully. “Although she might be grounded.” He looked at Raven significantly. 

“Where did you have in mind, Charles?” Raven asked, bouncing Kurt on her knees. 

He cringed in anticipation. “Would I get in trouble if I said Sydney?” 

“YES!” Raven and Erik hollered. Kurt, however, clapped his hands in glee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0) Thank you so much for all the incredibly wonderful comments. Feeling accountable to you is honestly what made this work happen.   
> 1) so sorry this chapter was a day late. I really struggled with getting them all to a "happy ending" hee hee pun intended  
> 2) Sophia Bee gave me some wonderful feedback on the medical stuff in chapter 9 and I totally forgot to acknowledge that when I posted it!!! Not to mention she let me vent to her. AND SHES A FREAKING AMAZING WRITER HELLO go read her stuff now go now  
> 3) I have never enjoying writing a story more than this one. If you are an author and you ever have a week or two weeks with nothing else to do, I highly recommend it committing to daily updates. Even though I ultimately did not meet *that* goal, I ended up with a story I am very pleased with. It was exhilarating, and the writing was actually easier in that I was with the characters in my head constantly.  
> 4) Oh there aren't actually any spoilers here except that there is a happy ending. (Those of you who peeked because my "cry" warning scared you! :D)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Massage therapy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3639543) by [Butterynutjob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterynutjob/pseuds/Butterynutjob), [Jimmybean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimmybean/pseuds/Jimmybean)




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